A Brand New Twist, Chapter 31
by Luvin_Evian

Eve met the cleric as he made his way down the corridor. His cane in one hand, and his bible pressed against his chest with the other, he painted the picture of serenity. A sight for sore eyes, his presence offered Eve an immediate and much-needed sense of solace.

In the two days since Julian’s personality took a one-eighty, her concern for him grew steadily. When she visits, he’s always tired. And even when he’s not sleeping, he’s reading magazines or books. Julian insisted everything was fine, but she knew better. He barely held her gaze for a minute at a time. Wringing her hands in wait for him to open up only added to her worry, especially when he continued to say nothing.

Father’s Lonigan’s arrival was the equivalent to calling in the big guns. “Thank you for coming so quickly,” she said, closing her hands about his forearm.

“You sounded upset on the phone, Eve. Is everything okay?”

Not really,” she said. A couple of nurses passed them as Eve led him to a group of empty chairs in the waiting room. “I’m worried about Julian.”

“I understand he’s doing better,” he said, folding his cane placing it on his lap.

“He is. He is doing so much better and I’m very grateful for that. It’s not his health that’s bothering me. Something is weighing on him and he won’t tell me what.”

A smile brightened his peaceful face. “You care a great deal for him, don’t you, Eve?”

She looked into his cloudy, sightless eyes. “Yes, Father, I love him. I’m having his baby.” She paused before saying, “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

“It is not my job to judge you or anyone else, Eve.” He gave her hand a comforting pat. “I could tell from the way you talked about Julian, when you first told me about your past with him, there was unfinished business between you two. You were so angry when you spoke of him, but there was a great deal of passion behind it. Your coming together was inevitable. Love is an emotion one cannot control. You are not a bad person, and neither is Julian. We’re all human, aspiring to live in His image.”

“I am trying to do the right thing, Father. T.C. and I are getting a divorce.”

Father Lonigan’s face lost some of its cheery luster. He sighed. “I’m never happy to hear about the ending of a marriage, especially one I officiated.” His tone grew serious. “I’m sure this is not a decision you reached in haste.”

“Not at all. The marriage is over.” She thought to tell him about T.C.’s assault, but reconsidered. Now wasn’t the ideal time to share that particular detail. “I can say without hesitation there are no illusions of reconciliation for T.C. and me. I love Julian. T.C. is not happy with this, but he knows it to be true. We are both in agreement. It’s time to move on with our lives.”

“You seem at peace with you decision.”

She nodded. “I am.”

“I’m sorry, we got a little off track.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “You said you’re concerned about Julian.”

“Yes, that’s why I called you. Julian’s not a very religious man, but he won’t talk to me about what’s bothering him, so I hoped maybe he would talk to you. I know he respects you and your wisdom.”

Father Lonigan extended an affable smile. “I’ll be happy to talk to Julian. In fact, I was planning to visit him.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“You’re welcome, my child,” he said, extending his cane.

Eve helped him up. “And maybe you can find out why he doesn’t want Sheridan to help find our son.”

“What’s that?”

“Sheridan offered to help us find our son while Julian is recovering and when I told him about this he flipped. I thought he’d be happy, but he’s totally against the idea and I don’t understand why. He’s not talking very much, and when he does talk he’s saying a lot of nothing. I’m at my wits end, Father.”

“Don’t you worry, Eve. I’ll do what I can to help.”

“He’s in Room 420. Do you want me to show you the way?”

“That won’t be necessary. I can make it on my own, and we wouldn’t want Julian to think he’s being ganged up.”

Eve nodded. He had a point. “Okay, I’ll go the cafeteria and get some tea.”

She watched Father Lonigan proceed down the hall. She hoped things went well. It would only help in telling Julian she gave Sheridan the go-ahead, in spite of his disapproval, to continue her search for their son.

A knock on the door jostled him from his anguish. He tucked the picture beneath the covers and brushed away his tears. “Come in.”

The door creaked open and in walked Father Lonigan. “How are you doing, my son?”

“Father Lonigan.” Julian pulled out the picture. At least with this visitor he didn’t have to put on a happy face. “You didn’t have to come over.”

“I think I did. How are you feeling?”

“Good. I feel just fine.”

“Is that all? You just feel fine?”

“Yes,” he answered, glancing at the man for a moment before returning his attention to the picture. “I’m making a speedy recovery and I expect to be released tomorrow.”

Father Lonigan moved further into the room and with the aid of his cane, found his way to the chair. “I remember how worried you were when Eve left town for all those weeks,” he said, sitting down in the chair and folding his walking stick. “No one could have been more surprised than I when you showed up at the church. You bared your soul to me, Julian. I know how much you care about Eve and how much you want a life with her. You’ve been given a second chance at not only life, but the life you’ve always wanted with Eve, and your reply to how you’re feeling is ‘just fine’? What’s troubling you?”

The Father had a way of seeing things without the aid of vision, but Julian detected there was a little more to the priest’s insight than enhanced sense and intuition. “Eve called you, didn’t she?”

“Yes,” answered Father Lonigan, “but I was planning to visit anyway. She is very concerned about you.”

“She shouldn’t be.” He continued to stare at the picture. “I’m not worthy of her concern.”

“Something has changed you, Julian. What is it?”

“How much do you know about what happened to me?”

“Only that you were shot, and you’re now doing better.”

“There’s a little more to it. I died, and Dr. Harmon managed to bring me back.”

“I have heard tales of near-death experiences,” Father Lonigan said with a smile. “Very life-affirming.”

Julian scoffed. “It was an experience alright, but more life-altering than affirming.” He glanced at the picture. “I should have died,” he muttered.

Father Lonigan frowned. Confusion darkened his pale features. “What did you say?”

“I said I should have died,” he repeated louder. Julian hung his head. “It would have been for the best.”

“Whose best? Not Eve’s, and certainly not that of the little life she’s carrying.”

“Eve told you.”

“Yes.”

“My dying would be best for the both of them. In fact, for everyone whose life I had the misfortune of touching. But especially Eve. I have brought her nothing but pain.”

“How can you say that? Julian, Eve loves you.”

“I know. But I don’t deserve her love.”

“What happened to you, Julian? Why are you talking this way?”

“When I died, I saw Death.”

“Death?” Father Lonigan pulled back in his chair, sitting more erect. “You mean that manifestation of evil? I have heard of him. Julian, you’re destroying your happiness because of that dark angel?”

Julian chuckled. Bitter, derisive laughter. “ I’m not destroying my life, Father. I destroyed it a long time ago.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s simple. I’ve done some horrible things in my past, and they’ve come back to haunt me.”

“Everybody makes mistakes, Julian. You can’t punish yourself for something you did in a moment of weakness?”

“A moment?” Julian shook his head. The poor man was clueless. “Father, my life has been a series of weak moments.”

“It couldn’t have been all bad.” A smile brightened the older man’s face. “Eve fell in love with you, and she still loves you. You make her happy.”

“For now.” Julian gazed at the picture and then tucked it under his pillow. “That’s going to change.”

“Eve knows you’re flawed, Julian. Nobody is perfect. She’s not going to stop loving you now.”

“You’re wrong. Eve loves who she thinks I am. How do you think she’s going to feel about me when she learns I tried to kill our child?”

The man clutched his bible to his chest. His brows knitted in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Julian adjusted the bed to an upright position. “Pretend this is a confessional, Father. Everything I’m about to tell you must remain confidential.”

“That goes without saying. What is it?”

“A couple of days ago I learned the child I fathered with Eve was one of two.”

“Two?”

“Yes. Eve had twins, and she has no idea.”

“How is that possible?”

“In a word, Alistair. When Eve went into labor, Father made it his business to be at the hospital. To his surprise as well as all the staff in the delivery room, Eve had twins. My son and daughter. This was soon after my mother gave birth to a baby girl.”

“Sheridan.”

“If only,” Julian said. “No, my mother’s child was not Sheridan. Mother’s child was stillborn, and for Father that was a problem. A problem he rectified when Eve unexpectedly gave birth to a baby girl. One with a striking resemblance to my mother and extremely fair skin.”

Father Lonigan shook his head. His wonderful powers of deduction clearly going to work. “Alistair didn’t...”

“Yes, Alistair did. He did who knows what to my son, and gave my daughter to my mother. Because she became comatose soon after giving birth, she didn’t know about her child, and Father never told her the truth.”

“You said before you tried to kill your child with Eve. What did you mean?”

“What do you think? Father hated the idea of Sheridan and Luis being together, and he would stop at nothing to see them apart. He made my eliminating Sheridan a priority, and because I was so weak, I followed his bidding and tried to kill her.”

Julian didn’t bother to look at the priest. The man’s sightless eyes had a way of scolding in ways a sighted disappointed parent could only hope to achieve. The silence in the room grew louder.

“No sage words, huh, Father?” Julian finally said. “Trust me, you can’t be more disillusioned with me than I am with myself.”

“I cannot deny this is sad and disturbing news, Julian. I know Alistair is a lost soul and a very cruel man, but this… I truly don’t know what to say.”

“There’s not a lot to say. I told Eve about what I tried to do to Sheridan, but that was before I learned she was ours. I cannot tell Eve she’s our daughter. She’ll never forgive me, and our unborn child… The shock of hearing this could cause her to miscarry. She fainted the other day because she was so worried about me. Anything more would be too much.”

Father Lonigan tucked his bible in the pocket of his black blazer and with his cane, made his way to the bed. “Julian, my son, you cannot keep this from Eve. She must be told.”

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yes, I heard every word, and it’s all underlined with fear. Motivated by this encounter you had on the other side with Death.”

“Wrong, Father. It’s motivated by my inability to say no when it counted.” Julian fought against the knot threatening to close his throat. “Father told me to leave Eve, and instead of saying no like I wanted, I said yes and left her pregnant and alone. When he told me to kill Sheridan, I wanted to say no, I tried to say no, but in the end, I tried to have her killed. When saying no mattered I couldn’t say it. Well, I can say it now. No, I will not tell Eve about this.”

“And you are doing this for whom?” Father Lonigan questioned. “Not Eve.”

“Of course it’s for Eve!” he fired back. “Do you think I enjoy keeping this from her? My God, looking at her and seeing the unanswered questions in her eyes, is killing me. I have to take this pain, because she can’t handle it.”

“You can’t make that choice for her.”

“I have to make it.” Julian hung his head, sighing. His misery like a boulder on his back, weighing him down. “This should be the happiest time of my life. I’m finally with the love of my life and she’s having my baby, but I can barely look at her without wanting to burst into tears with the knowledge of what I’ve done to her, and what I could still do. I hate being in my own skin. Death told me I should come with him, but I said no. I fought to stay here. I should have listened, because everything he said is coming to pass. Dying would have been better.”

Father Lonigan gasped. “You can’t mean that.”

“I do mean it.”

“You’re playing into this demon’s hands, Julian. You must fight the evil. Satan’s power is very strong, but you can’t fall prey to it. You have to do what’s right, and you must never choose death. That is never an answer.”

“It’s not an answer for me anymore, Death told me as much. Choosing to stay here made living my punishment. And let me tell you, it is hell.”

“That’s exactly what it is, and you can end it by telling Eve the truth. She will understand, Julian. The love you two have is strong. You can get past this.”

Julian new the priest meant well, but he didn’t want to listen to anymore of his saintly platitudes. “I’m sorry, Father Lonigan, but when you fall in love with a woman and try to kill one of the two children your love created, then I’ll listen to you. Your scriptures and spiritual wisdom can’t help me.” He lowered the bed to recline. “Thank you for coming by, but I want to be alone now.”

The man sucked in a breath, his features sobered. Julian felt bad for being short, but was in no mood to apologize.

“I will pray for you, Julian. I will pray you get the strength you need to do the right thing, and not let this evil destroy your life.” The cane tapped against the floor as Father Lonigan ambled to the door.

“Remember to keep this to yourself,” Julian reminded him.

“I will keep my word,” he said, not turning around. “I only hope you don’t keep yours.” The door closed behind him.