“Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain.” Julian sang.
Eve sighed at him, being in proximity to the man she loved was an amazing feeling. It was difficult, considering she loved two men, but being with Julian, she could be everything she ever wanted to be and not be scolded for living the past she once did.

“My darling, how I wish I could provide you with better sleeping arrangements, but, I guess this is the way it has to be for tonight.”

As uncomfortable as the stacks of hay were, she didn’t care as Julian gazed intently at her. She couldn’t believe that she was stranded that evening with him, but she wasn’t too concerned about it, even if it meant lying to T.C. Being in Julian’s world made her forget the reality of the daily situations she had to deal with. She did feel safe in his arms, and loving him especially, did pull her heart in two directions, but it was just the way life had turned out. Who could have predicted that she would be in his arms, his body so close to hers, cooped up in a barn for the night? This was not a path she had seen coming in anyway, but here she was, presented with this obstacle and reality. She ran her hand down the buttons of his oxford, slightly annoyed by the fact that he hadn’t taken off his tie. He smiled at her, knowing what she was thinking and loosened it enough to slip it off. Eve studied each button on the shirt precisely; Julian then took her hand to the first button, helping her undo it.

“Go ahead my love, I don’t mind.” He said softly.

Eve shook her head, feeling a bit uneasy about it, but he then leaned forward toward her, kissing her ever so softly, yet firmly, taking her hand to the next button to encourage her. He kissed her neck, using his tongue in such a way that Eve closed her eyes for one brief moment, enjoying his touch. Before he could say anything, she was running her hands over his bare chest. Julian took her hand to his, kissing it and placing it around his neck. She gazed at him, letting her hand slip up to the back of his gray hair as he moved his mouth farther down the front of her neck, moving her top ever so slightly.

“Oh Eve.” He whispered.

She had to wonder exactly what his intentions were at that point; she could feel her body tense up somewhat. Was he going to mainly cuddle? She hoped he would, but at the same time, they had shared quite the passionate kisses along the way. From the dramatic events after their dance to the recent kiss in Sheridan’s cottage, Eve really did know what his intentions were. But he was being very sweet and kind, she just didn’t want to rush things too fast, it wouldn’t be right.

“What’s wrong Eve?” he said looking into her worrisome eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Yes, my dear, you look scared.”

“No, it’s just…I don’t know what it is.”

“Eve, we are all alone, with no one else to disturb us, a moment I have waited to have happen for as many times as we see each other. But, alas, when opportunity knocked, you always shied away or someone interrupted us. Now we have a real chance to be alone and see what can happen, is that why your body is so tense all of a sudden?” he asked.

“I’m not tense.” She said avoiding his gaze.

“Your body language says yes, so you can’t really deny it love.”

“Julian.” She said sitting up.

He sat up next to her, leaning against her shoulder, kissing it softly.

“You can honest with me Eve.”

She moved off the blankets, her body feeling a sudden shiver not being underneath them anymore. She stared at Julian who was sitting there, a look of innocence upon his face, wondering what he had done.

“Julian, I know we are all alone, I know that.”

He sat on the edge of a stack and brought her down to meet him eye level and kissed her softly on the cheek. She couldn’t help but stare at his open shirt, but when he caught her glance and smiled, she just looked away.

“Darling, you know I want to be with you, don’t you?” he said touching her lips.

“Yes, that is what I am afraid of Julian.”

“Don’t be afraid, it’s only natural, isn’t it?”

“If I were single.” Eve said sighing.

“It’s natural when two people love each other.”

“Yes.” She said simply.

“Eve, I am in love with you.”

“I know Julian.”

“And being in love with you, I can’t deny that I want to see where things can take us.”

“I know exactly how you feel, you have been honest more than once that you want to be the only man in my life.”

“It’s true honey.”

Eve could feel her heart skip a beat, she did want this so much, but she feared the consequences of the aftermath. She couldn’t deny that she was very attracted to him, he wasn’t just sexy physically, and she had fallen for him as a person once again. But T.C. kept creeping back into her lovely fantasy of being with Julian and it was the reality of her life, the reality of the situation that T.C. was her husband.

“Julian, I can’t, I do love kissing you, I do love how wonderful you have been to me tonight. There’s a large part of me that wants everything you have to offer me, but I just wasn’t brought up to leave my husband.”

“It’s not wrong to love someone Eve, to want to live for the moment and take it, you are the only woman for me.” He said taking her hand.

She let go of it and tried to walk around for a moment, as hard as that was with her foot being sore. She stopped and stared at him again. What was the right thing to do in her mind? What would make her happy; yet not make her guilty as hell afterwards?

“Come sit next to me, you are shivering again.” Julian said.

He wrapped the blanket around her once again and held her close. Eve could do nothing but lean her head on his shoulder; she didn’t have an answer for him.

“Eve, I love you so very much, my heart is telling me that we should be together no matter what, but I can see you are just unsure of what to do next.”

“We are alone and all of a sudden I have to face what will happen.”

“Only if you want it to, I never said it had to, but I know how I feel.” Julian said kissing her forehead.

Eve lie down once again on the stack, the blankets over her. Julian wrapped his arms around her and when he kissed the back of her neck, Eve sighed quietly, knowing just how good it felt when he did that. Julian couldn’t help but love to kiss her, hold her in his arms, every moment he had with her was precious and he wanted to enjoy each one.

“Eve, this is so great, how I have wanted to spend a night with you like this.”

“Even just in each other’s arms?” she asked.

“Holding you is very nice.”

“But you do want more, don’t you?” she said playing with his hands.

“If I said no, I would be a liar, but I am okay with it really, as long as you are comfortable.”

She turned to face him again; she was finding him quite irresistible, looking at his fine features. Her head kept saying, “T.C. is your husband”, but her heart and body were saying, “Julian is right here, right now.” The idea of having two men in her life now, was quite the struggle. T.C. was dependable and her partner of so many years, her husband. But Julian was the passion in her life, the man she had loved more than anything else in the world, a man who had always been a great lover. He was exciting, spontaneous; he came into her life like a whirlwind and swept her off of her feet. Where T.C. picked up the pieces of her heart that had been shattered from abandonment. But since he had changed, her feelings for Julian had truly resurfaced again and now she was presented with the ultimate test in the barn that night. Would she pass and do the safe thing, only being with T.C. or fail and give into her desires to be with Julian? This was the moment to decide and she had to, she couldn’t go on any longer not knowing one way or the other. She was as crazy for Julian as he was for her, even if she was married.

“Julian?” she said touching his face.

“Yes Eve?”

She studied his eyes for one more moment before saying what she had to say.

“You are right about something.”

“What’s what my dear?”

“It is only natural.” She said simply.

“Does that mean?” he asked curiously.

She brought his hands to her top, Eve watched in anticipation as he undid each button, quite excited suddenly, it was almost like the idea of being with a new lover for the first time, even if Julian and her had been together in the past. But it had been decades since it had happened and now she was suddenly going to remember just how he was in bed. He ran his hands slightly over her lace bra, thinking back to what it was like when they were first getting to know each other in that way. He remembered being so happy to have a chance to be intimate with Eve, she was so beautiful and he was in awe back in the Blue Note days. She was never a conquest, a notch on his belt, he had fallen in love with Eve then and his feelings were as strong as ever now.