I have wanted this for so very long.” He said softly.
She didn’t answer, but simply nodded as he slid the bra straps down her shoulders, before reaching behind her back to undo the clasp. When he removed it, he shook his head at her for a moment.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, you are just simply exquisite in every way Eve.” He said, touching her, quite gently at first, wanting to make sure, she was okay with this.

When she looked into his hazel eyes, she could see such intensity and desire from such a wonderful man she had fallen in love with all over again. His wish to need her and want her became more obvious with his touch. Julian’s hands upon her chest became firmer in their grip as he placed such hot and intense kisses upon her neck and mouth.

“God, how I love you my darling, I have dreamed about being with you forever. Every time I look at you sweetheart, I cherish the memories we once shared and now I want to make new ones with you.” He said, tasting her soft and luscious mouth.

“Julian.” She said sitting up in a sudden panic, covering herself up again.

“What is it honey?”

“Julian, I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You want to make new memories with me.” Eve said, touching the back of his hair.

“Yes I do.”

“But when you said that, it just made me…um….”

“Think of T.C.?”

“Think that I should only have memories with my husband.”

Julian let out a sigh, wanting so much to tell her to leave him once again. But he couldn’t, Eve loved him, even if she was angry with him, she had just cause to still care for T.C.; he was the man who gave her love after his desertion. Eve was so torn between them, it was more obvious now and he understood what she said in the cottage about Sheridan having to choose between Antonio and Luis. She was scared, she was confused and he didn’t want to do anything to drive her away. He had almost done that at the dance and as frustrating as this was for him to love her so completely, he just couldn’t hurt her, he loved her far too much to do that.

“Listen Eve, I am not going anywhere, I certainly don’t want to upset you. I just can’t help loving you, you captured my heart in Boston and you have captured it again. I just can’t put into words how I feel about you; I just know what my heart is telling me. I want to be with you so much, love you for a lifetime, but, I also have to understand where you are coming from love.”

“I don’t mean to play any kinds of games here, so much a part of me is wanting you Julian, that is why I let you kiss me, touch me, because I want that too. If I weren’t married, it wouldn’t be an issue whatsoever, I would be with you in a heartbeat Julian.”

“You would?”

“Yes Julian, I would.” She said, touching his hair, feeling the slight dampness from the rain.

“Eve, if you really want me to just hold you all night, I will do that, would that make you happy?” he asked.

“I would like that.”

He wrapped the blanket around them again and when Julian pressed his body to hers to keep warm, she could still smell the cologne he was wearing, which made it a bit more difficult to be so close to him and just lay in each other’s arms. There was no doubt in her mind that she was attracted to him, Julian had many great qualities, she had known that before and he was even more wonderful now. He was a beautiful man, inside and out and she was being truthful with him when she said that she would be with him if she weren’t married. In some ways, she wished that she could turn back the clock just as he always did, wanting to forget what he had done and the regrets he had made. Eve couldn’t help but regret parts of her life as well. She truly did love T.C. and her daughters, but, the past, their past, was so much more alive and fresh being this close to him and getting to know the man she once loved so much more again. She would have never believed that Julian and her would have a relationship of any kind, not even a friendship and here he had become her rock, her soul, everything she needed in life. Julian looked at her; he could tell she was in her own world.

“What’s the matter darling?”

“Nothing.” She said, avoiding his gaze.

He put his hand on her chin, wanting to study her eyes; he always knew what Eve was thinking from them as she did with him.

“I’m sorry.” He said simply.

“For what Julian?”

“For putting you in this position to choose between us. I know I have been aggressive lately about it, I just can’t help it, I get impatient and being so in love with you, I am trying my best to just step back and let you breathe.”

“I know it’s hard for you and if I could choose, I’d choose you.”

“What?” he said, moving back from her in shock.

“I said if I could choose, but I can’t, that is the problem. Julian, I am torn in two different directions here, wanting to love you, but wanting to be faithful to T.C. I have never cheated on him before, well, we have kissed, but…I mean I have never gone to bed with anyone else or looked around elsewhere.”

“I know Eve, you are still the sweet and innocent young woman I once knew, you believe in monogamy, and I understand that. Me, on the other hand, well, I haven’t given much thought to the term faithful over the years. But Eve, with you, I would be, I really would.”

“I believe you Julian, I know how much you love me.”

“So much.” He said kissing her hand.

Eve studied his eyes once again, she could get lost in them. Julian may have been a cold-hearted man for a number of years, but with the way he was now, finding his heart over time, she could see the true man he was through them. Eve looked at him, unable to smile, she was with a man she cared about so much, but she never felt more alone, unable to rationalize being unfaithful, taking her and Julian’s relationship to a new level. When she felt a tear slip down her cheek, he wiped it away and pulled her as close as possible to him; wanting her to know he was there for her.

“What can I do for you?” he asked sympathetically.

“Nothing Julian, I am not trying to make this time alone so unbearable for you.”

“Never Eve, every precious second I have with you I cherish and love, even if I don’t see you every minute of the day.”

“You would like that wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, I would love for you to be my wife, my lover, my best friend, I have always wanted that Eve and I don’t want to frighten you, but in all honesty, I still want it and hope that we can have that, time together forever Eve.”

“I wish I could make your dreams come true Julian.”

“They are just that darling, dreams, but to turn them into a reality, oh how I would love for that to happen.” He said, a smile on his face.

He didn’t say another word after that, but just let her be and held her close, not wanting to burden her with more thoughts of confusion. It was quiet again, not one sound around them, except the rain, which continued to hit the top of the barn’s roof. Eve needed the tranquility of listening to each raindrop as it tumbled downwards. As she lay there, she tried to drift off to have another rest, but it wasn’t any use. She would close her eyes for few moments, hoping it was hours, but rather seconds. Julian had managed to fall asleep again, just having her in his arms made him comfortable, made him complete, at least for one night. Time was of the essence and it seemed that they wouldn’t have too many evenings where they could be alone together, Eve thought about what it was like to have Julian hold her to him instead of T.C. and she had to admit that she was much more happy, knowing she was being her true self with Julian. She heard him moan softly, as he moved a bit, still in a deep sleep. Eve looked at his hands that were around her waist and brought her hand to his, playing with his fingers. She loved how strong his hands and arms were, when they held her, she never had to fear for anything when she was with Julian. Her world was safe when she was with him.

Her mind raced with thoughts between being with Julian and remaining with T.C. Her husband was her life, her daughters as well, she was a doctor and she was Mrs. T.C. Russell. But then Eve flashed back in her mind to the days of being a singer, Julian gazing at her on stage, loving her unconditionally. Why did the past have to be just that, the past? Why did Alistair have to play such a large role in her unhappiness? The life she would have had with Julian and their son, the life of a singer and Julian, helping to make her a huge star. She actually hated that she had two different lives, and she wanted only one that made her happy. But the more she thought about it, the more she missed her life with Julian, minus the whole party scene. Julian now, was what she truly wanted. He had changed so much and learned from his mistakes in life or so she hoped. She knew he was very sorry for leaving her and knew Alistair was the true cause, even if he thought he was the coward for leaving. Eve thought about their nights in bed, Julian making passionate love to her night after night, roses, candles, and silk sheets. Their sessions were like nothing she had experienced before, even to this day. She knew T.C. was a different kind of lover, everyone was, but Julian and her, they were on fire in bed. Eve then turned herself around to gaze at him, the love of her life so many years ago. As he breathed quietly, she couldn’t help but study his mouth and how she wanted then to kiss him.

“Julian?” she said softly against his neck.

“Yes my love?” he said stretching his arms upwards.

She didn’t say another word, but pressed her mouth tenderly against his, loving how it felt.

“Oh Eve.” He said, caressing her tresses.

“Julian, I have missed you so much.”

“Have you?”

“I have missed being with you.”

“But honey, I thought you said that you didn’t want to do anything, you wanted me to hold you.” He said.

“I do Julian, but after you make love to me.” She said, touching his face.