~Fallen Ch.7 ~
~~
She watched the fire thinking about nothing in particular, well that wasn’t true, she was thinking about what her life had become. Sitting in her cottage on the Crane estate, she had never felt more like the proverbial ‘poor little rich girl’, but she knew she deserved it.

She had been horrible to Antonio, he saved her life countless times, befriended her when she had no one, and brought her home, and in the end all had offered him was lies, and half truths. She didn’t deserve his friendship or love, and she knew that she didn’t deserve his brother. The knock of her door, brought her out of her melancholy mood, as she tightened the belt on her robe, and opened the door. “ Coming.” Luis was standing in her doorway.” Hi.”

“ Hi.”

“ Come in.” She stood back, and took the time to study him; he walked down the steps stiffly, like he was tense. ‘Stupid, of course he’s tense he’s brothers dying, and a family friend almost died.’ “ I thought you’d still be at the hospital.”

“ No, I thought I’d see you there.”

“ I told Ethan, that I wasn’t coming, I don’t really know Kay that well, and it wasn’t like she was going to ask to see me, so…”

“ Well, she didn’t ask to see anyone, but Antonio.”

“ How was he?”

“ I don’t know, he didn’t speak to me or Mama, or anyone else for that matter.”

“ Probably because of Kay.”

Luis brought his head up, and meet her eyes.” What?”

“ He was probably just thinking about Kay, I mean he is the only one she wanted to talk to, he was probably feeling a little pressure.”

He nodded.” Yeah, about him…”

“ I can’t do this Luis.” She fell onto her couch folding her legs underneath her as she stared at the fire. “ I can’t believe what I did, how I was acting, what I was willing to do, everything about what has happened since I’ve come back is like a bad dream.” “ I’m not the kind of person that treats people’s feelings lightly, that’s my father or Julian, but I don’t just treat people that way, except that I did.”

“ Sheridan it’s not you fault.” Luis sat down next to her, and took her hand.” Things got out of control and we just…”

“ We just what…have the right to marry people we don’t really love, to just settle, and let them settle.” She jumped up, and shook off his hand.” We don’t have that right.” She moved toward the door, and opened.” Look I’m obviously not marrying Antonio, and you can marry Beth or not marry her, but I’m going to leave for a while, I need some space from this.”

“ Sheridan…” Luis stepped over the threshold onto the porch, but turned to reach for arm, but she snatched it back.”

“ I’m sorry Luis.”

That was the last thing she said, as she shut the door, in his face and turned back toward the fire.

~~

Simone paused outside the door, and looked to see if anyone was around, before she knocked on the doorjamb.” Dr. McCoy.” She watched as the older woman closed her laptop, and looked up smiling, motioning for her to come in.

“ Hi, and you are?”

“ Sorry, I’m Simone Russell.” She took the seat across from the doctor, and nodded.” I’m a friend of Kay’s.”

Jody nodded, and leaned over.” You’re Eve’s daughter, the ones that’s best friends with Kay.” “ How are you?”

“ I’m okay.” Simone automatically straightened and began fixing her hair, and looked at the woman surprised when she laughed.

“ You can calm down Simone, I’m not analyzing you, searching for the reason that Kay did this.” “ Now you came to see me, can I help you with something?”

“ Yeah, well um… you said that Kay was better, and I was wondering uh….”

“ Simone, you’re concerned about your friend right?” Jody moved to the edge of her desk and smiled at the girl. “ You think that something you might have said or done, could have pushed to the edge, and I’m going to be honest, yeah, it might have happened like that, expect you weren’t the only one, they were probably three or four or five or six things or people that just taxed her already frayed nerves.”

Tears pooled in her large brown eyes, and bite her lip to keep them from falling, she looked up and found a tissue in front of her face.” Thanks.”

“ Any time, look Simone, everyone that knows Kay has to take some responsibility for this, but in the end ninety-five percent of it lies at Kay’s door, you’re not a bad person because you got angry with her or said something she didn’t like.” “ Regrettably, this things happen, but we’re doing everything possible to make sure Kay gets better.”

“ Yeah, that’s why I came, I wanted to know what I should do.” “ I know that she done’ want to see me, but I want to know what I can do in the meant time, or what I should do if she wants to see me.”

“ Well what Kay’s doing right now, is very normal after an attempt, she’s reevaluating her life, and the people she has in it, and maybe you should do the same, really look at your friendship and find things in it that you want to change, because strangely enough it’s the perfect time to make a change.” “ Now when she wants to see you, just keep things light, don’t try to lead the conversation, just hang out with her, okay.”

“ Okay, thanks.” Simone stood, and smiled.” I really appreciate this.”

“ No problem, ask you can see my doors always open.” Jody gave the girl as small wink as she waved goodbye to her.

She tuned back to her laptop, and checked the data again. It would be risky, very risky, but then just letting him die, was risky in her opinion.

Tomorrow, she’d check on Kay, and then run the data again, and if it panned out she talk to Eve. She was close, so close she could touch it.

~~

“ Hey.”

Kay looks up from the magazine, but goes back to reading when she sees who it is.” Not finished yelling at me?”

“ I’m here to apologize for that true, but I shouldn’t have yelled, and that remark when I left was uncalled for.”

“ Like I listened to you.”

Antonio took a deep breath and entered the room, she sure knew how to work a guys patients.” You’re really bitter for an eighteen year old.” He took the chair in her room, and moved hit by her bed. “ Don’t you have anything positive in your life?”

“ Hello, I sliced open my wrist, clearly I have problems.” Kay puts down the magazine, and glances toward him.” I’m sorry for what I said about Sheridan, you can just ignore it.”

“ I knew, found out the same day I found you.” “ I want to thank you, no one else had the courage to just tell me.” Antonio shifts in his seat, and stared at her.” So, what do you want to talk about?”

“ Who said I wanted to talk?”

“ Well Doc, said that I’d be your link to the world, and you might want to know some stuff.”

“ You call her Doc?” At his nod she shook her head. “ That’s stupid does she answer to it, wait of course she does, she’s weird.” “ I almost wish Eve was doctor, cause between you, me and the lamppost I think she’s got problems too.”

“ Why did you do it?” He asked suddenly, then cringed when he realized he said it out loud.” I’m sorry, but I still want to know.”

Kay considered the question, for two days people had been tiptoeing around her, but not once had anyone not even Dr.Jacobs had come out and asked why. “ How did you feel when you found out about Sheridan and Luis?”

“ I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like every breath was painful, why?”

“ Because two days ago I woke up from a dream or more accurately a nightmare, and I couldn’t breath and an every inch of my body was screaming in pain, and then I heard this voice in my head, and it was just saying some things that people had been telling me for years, and I just wanted it to stop, and then it hit me.” “ If I just stop breathing completely wouldn’t the pain and voices have to stop, and isn’t that what I really wanted.” “ So I did, and tell you the truth, for what seemed like an hours, it did.” She looked over at him, and knew he understood.” You know?”

“ Yeah, I know all too well.” “ But you’re not going to try again are you?”

“ I don’t know, what do you do once the pain lessens, I mean it never stops, but what you do, when it’s not your main focus.”

“ Get over it I guess. ” “ It’s not like you weren’t living a full life discovered your feelings for this person, so why can’t you go on once you can’t have those feelings anymore.”

Kay broke eye contact with him, and began playing with her hair.“ Maybe because you’ve done things, that make it more important then just feelings, or maybe you lost something that you can’t ever get back.”
 

Antonio got up, and grabbed her chin, meeting her eyes head on.” Then maybe you and a friend in a similar situation can find a way to get over it together.”

“ Yeah maybe.”