Theresa was walking in the hallway when she came face to face with a ghost.

“ Gwen.”

“ Theresa.”, Gwen sneered.

The two women stood there for a moment, and Gwen rolled her eyes, snorted and began to walk away when Theresa reached out for her arm.

” What? What do you have to say to me, Gwen?”

” I don’t have anything to say, Theresa.”

” Of course you do. I can see it.”

” You’re really not worth the wasted breath, Theresa.”

” But, you’re going to waste it anyway. Go ahead…say it…smirk about Ethan and I not being together.”

Gwen tossed her hair and smirked. “ You know…you never change. Everything is about Ethan for you, isn’t it? I mean I always knew it, but I didn’t KNOW it. I didn’t know that you needed serious mental help. Maybe if I had acknowledged that fact truly, I could have protected myself.”

” I didn’t need mental help!”

” Oh no…is that why you’ve been seeing a shrink? “ Theresa looked at her with a shocked look on her face. “ Yes, Theresa, I still hear things. Honestly, you need to get your money back if you STILL can’t confess that your Ethan obsession was unhealthy.”

” Shut up.”

” No, little girl. You started this. I’m going to finish it. You want to know what I have to say to you? Ok. I hate you. To the bottom of my soul I hate you. I curse the day that I ever met you. I used to stay up at night, thinking about how I could make your life miserable. But, then, one day it clicked for me. I could release all my bitterness for you. I didn’t have to let it possess me. Why? Because I realized that nothing I could do to you would be worse than you already did to yourself. I know you didn’t give a shit about helping MY daughter die. You just didn’t think your Ethan obsession would kill your son. But, it did. I couldn’t do anything worse to you. I know that you’ll have to live with it, Theresa. Knowing that you were responsible for the deaths of two innocent children. You wake up every morning knowing you are a murderer. That’s good enough for me. I have a life to live. You and Ethan? Can live whatever fantasy the two of you want.  Goodbye.”

Theresa watched Gwen walk away.
 

The tears began to flow as she slid down the wall, and she remembered the worst day of her life.
 

She had thought that all her dreams were about to come true.

There was a snowstorm coming in. She had arranged for Ethan to think that Fox was taking her up to the Crane Cabin to ‘take advantage’ of her. She had been working on Ethan for months. And, she finally had news that she knew would cement things between them. She was going to deliver the news in person.

Sure, she had to lie to Ethan to get him there. But, all the lies would be forgiven once Ethan realized how much he loved her. How right they were together. She had arranged for them to be isolated together. There would be no transportation until the next morning. And, Theresa believed that she and Ethan would be spending the night making love after their reunion.

Ethan got there. He arrived to rescue her. Theresa used a few swift lies to get Ethan to Ethan’s phone – he cut off his ringer and got rid of his pager. Ethan was going to be hers. She had a dinner prepared. Once he realized that Theresa had tricked him, Ethan wanted to leave, but Theresa told him that they were stuck there until the morning.

She worked on Ethan. Got him to dance with her. Got him to think about their past. Got him to think about them together. Once she had gotten him into the mood, she sprung her surprise on Ethan – when Little Ethan had gotten sick the last time, the doctor’s realized something- he had the wrong bloodtype to be Julian’s son. Theresa had been too shocked to hope, so she had done private DNA tests on him, and the results were conclusive – Ethan was little Ethan’s father!

Ethan was thrilled. Just then, Little Ethan had called out, Theresa told Ethan that he was probably hungry and she would fix him something to eat. Theresa rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the first thing she thought he would eat. She took the sandwich into the room with him, and gave it to him and returned to Ethan. Ethan took in the information about Little Ethan, and he and Theresa talked about their son, and the future they wanted for him. Theresa talked about how the three of them would be a family, and Ethan didn’t interrupt. Ethan told Theresa he wanted the three of them to spend time together and they went into Little Ethan’s room. When they got there, what awaited them terrified them. Little Ethan was on the floor. His eyes were open. He was stiff on the floor. His face looked swollen. They rushed to him. Ethan put his ear to Little Ethan’s chest. He wasn’t breathing. Ethan began CPR on their son, while Theresa ran to the phone to call for an ambulance. She rushed back to tell Ethan that the ambulance was on the way, and Ethan was still working on Little Ethan. With no response.  It what seemed like an eternity, the paramedics finally arrived.

“ What’s wrong?”

” He’s not breathing.”, Theresa explained.
The paramedics looked around the room and picked up the sandwich and looked at his partner. “ We need the adrenaline.”

“ Adrenaline? Why?”, Ethan said.

” The boy’s had an allergic reaction to the peanut butter.” They put the shot into Little Ethan’s heart, and tried to resuscitate, to no avail. They put Little Ethan  on a stretcher and put him in the ambulance. They continued onto the hospital. Ethan and Theresa were on the outside of the ER, watching in horror. After a few more minutes, the doctor on staff appeared to Ethan and Theresa.

” We’re sorry.”

Theresa began screaming at them to continue.

“ M’am, there is nothing else that we can do. I’m sorry.”

Theresa screamed more and more. Ethan held her…

“ What happened to our son?”

” He had a bad reaction to the peanuts in the peanut butter.”

” What? Does it come overnight? How come he’s having a reaction now?”

” Children don’t develop allergies like this overnight. They always exist.”

” Well, that’s not true. Theresa would know if her son was allergic to peanuts. She’d know what makes him sick. She wouldn’t give her son..”

“ Ethan, stop it.”

” Theresa…”

” Ethan, stop it. The  sad truth is….I don’t know what my son’s allergic to. You have to be a mother to know that. And, I haven’t been much of a mother. I’ve been too focused on other things..”

” What? WHAT could you be focused on that was more important than your son?”

“ You.”, Theresa said quietly.

Ethan looked at Theresa and they just stared at one another. They sat with one another, not saying anything. They each went into the room to be alone with Little Ethan.

It was morning before Ethan called Harmony to tell anyone the news and make arrangements. That’s when he was told that Gwen was in Harmony Hospital. That they had been trying to contact him for endless hours. Ethan didn’t understand that, because he had his pager and phone. He checked them and realized that they had both been immobilized. He was confused for a moment, after all, HE hadn’t shut them off. Then, he thought about it. He left the phone and found Theresa.

“ Did you do it? Did you turn off my phone and pager? DID YOU?” By this time, Ethan had grabbed Theresa and was shaking her.

” Yes!, Why?”

“ Oh my God. You lying bitch.”

Ethan ran away and rushed back to Harmony. By the time he got to Harmony Hospital, he found a group of people outside of ICU. Sam came up to him and hugged him.

” I’m sorry, Son.”

Ethan looked around at all the sad faces. He saw Sheridan, as she was coming out of the room, tears streaming down her face.  Ethan was about to rush into the room when Sheridan stopped him.

” Ethan, don’t.”

” Sheridan, I…”

” Ethan, she’s been sedated. She doesn’t want to see you. She made me promise.”

” But, Sheridan…”

” Ethan, no.”

Ethan didn’t have the chance to compute any of this because the next thing he knew, Rebecca was in his face, hitting him everywhere, yelling at him.

” You sonuvabitch! She loved you! She defended you. And, when she needed you..where were you? With that BITCH! Gwen was bleeding to death, and you were with that WHORE! You’ve hurt my baby too much. You will NEVER get the chance to do it again. I’ll KILL YOU if you come near my baby. I’ll KILL YOU!!”

Sam took Ethan away as Jonathan Hotchkiss pulled an inconsolable Rebecca into his arms.

By this time, Eve and another doctor were approaching Ethan. They explained to Ethan that his daughter had passed away, but that Gwen would make it. They used all sorts of medical terms, but all that went over Ethan’s head. They told him that Gwen had been sedated, but that she would be available to see him in about 12 hours. Sam thanked them, and sat with Ethan.

“ If I had been there, my little girl would be alive.”

Sam wanted to tell Ethan that it wasn’t true. That there was nothing the doctor’s could have done, but it simply wasn’t true. IF Ethan had gotten Gwen’s frantic message, he could have alerted someone to go help Gwen. But, the truth is, too much time had passed by the time Sheridan and Luis stopped by for a latenight snack with Gwen. They had no idea Gwen was alone, and if it wasn’t for Sheridan’s ‘bad feelings’, Luis would have never burst into their house to find Gwen in a pool of blood with her hand on the speed dial to Ethan’s cellphone.

Ethan never spoke to Gwen again. When he returned the next day to the hospital, Jonathan Hotchkiss had hired armed guards to stand at her hospital room. Jonathan and Rebecca hired attorneys and Ethan didn’t fight the divorce. She barred him from the memorial service, though he watched the burial from a distance in his car. He tried to write Gwen, but his letters were returned unopened. He found out through Sheridan that Gwen had moved to London under the watchful care of her newly reconciled parents. He had tried asking Sheridan about Gwen, but he realized that she was being put in an awkward position, and so he stopped his inquiries.
 
 

He had seen her at the party from across the room, but realized that he had no words to say to her. There were no apologies he could make that she would believe. Hell, HE didn’t even believe them. Both of his children were dead, and he had a hand in their deaths. Which is why a bottle of scotch had become his new best friend. When Sam’s latest letter arrived, Ethan didn’t say no this time. He accepted Sam and Grace’s invitation to come to California. He knew he would die if he stayed in Harmony.  Ethan looked at his scotch and put it down. Tomorrow was a new beginning for him. Maybe he wouldn’t have so many nightmares in California.