More Than That - Chapter 16: Pain Of The Past (Gwen/Luis)
by Jamie Witter
 
 
 

Chapter 16: Pain of the Past

Grief. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.
-- C.S. Lewis

Luis froze as his eyes connected with Sheridan’s blue ones. He hadn’t come face to face with her since their break-up and he wondered how in such a short time, he had lost the ability to look at her and see someone he barely recognized. Her eyes held no emotion as she stared back at him and he could almost see the walls go up around her heart as her blue eyes almost hardened. He swallowed the lump that rose in his throat and avoided the thud of his heart as Theresa, looked at him suspiciously. “Hey Luis. Gwen.”

“I thought no one was home,” Luis said trying to get rid of his nervousness as he stared at his baby sister and avoided everyone else in the room. “I didn’t see your car.”

“We walked,” Theresa said and put her hand on her protruding belly. “It’s good for the baby. We invited Sheridan for some cocoa.”

“Oh,” Luis said, letting his gaze flicker over to Sheridan for a minute, who was staring into her mug. He could feel the tension fill the room and wondered how he could have loved someone as much as he did Sheridan and feel so alienated from her now.

Suddenly Gwen cleared her throat from behind him and he had another jolt, as he remembered she was behind him. “If you guys are wondering what I am doing here, it’s because Luis is driving me home.”

“Really?” Theresa asked, as Sheridan’s eyes flew to Gwen’s and then Luis’.

“Yeah, see it was silly really.” Gwen explained with a little laugh. “I was driving home without a spare and my tire chose the exact wrong moment to blow up. I was stranded on the middle of the road.”

“Yeah,” Luis said, wondering how he could lie so calmly and where he learned it. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t stutter and he didn’t even look at Gwen so as to avoid suspicion. “I was driving back from the Youth Center and I found her.”

“Officer Lopez Fitzgerald here, being the good Samaritan that he is offered me a lift instead of waiting for a tow truck,” Gwen finished with a smile. Luis saw Sheridan’s eyes fill with relief and he felt something stab at his heart and mind. Damn good time to have your conscience rear it’s head, Luis.

“That still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here, Gwen,” Theresa said, tongue in her cheek. Luis frowned at his sister. The tone of her voice was rude and her expression was downright mean. Had he raised her to be like that?

He was about to open his mouth and reprimand her but Gwen cut him off. “Well Theresa, your brother needed to get something and I said I didn’t mind if he needed to stop by here. After all, I was the one imposing.”

Luis saw as Theresa bought the explanation and just smiled. Luis cleared his throat and started to walk to the kitchen, avoiding Sheridan. “Why don’t you sit down, Gwen? I’ll be a few minutes and then I’ll drop you off.”

He disappeared before anyone could say anything else and then tried to think of something to do so he looked busy. His eyes settled on the dishes in the sink and he decided to start cleaning them to buy some time. As he reached into the sink, Theresa walked in, a funny look on her face. “So you stopped by the house to do dishes?”

Luis threw her a withering look. “I am keeping myself busy.”

Theresa nodded in understanding. “Sheridan is leaving soon. I wasn’t sure when you were coming back and when I didn’t see you hear, I thought it would be nice to invite her. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Luis said as he wet a sponge. “I’m not going to break every time I see her or listen to someone talk about her. She’s close to everyone in this family. Just because it didn’t work out between us, doesn’t mean that you guys have to avoid her.”

“I know,” Theresa said as she close the distance between them and put a comforting hand on his back. “But I can still see the pain in your eyes.”

“Well, I can handle pain,” Luis answered shortly, hoping she’d terminate the conversation. “I’m a master at it. Besides, I’ve had plenty of girlfriends and have broken up with them too. Sheridan isn’t my first, you know.”

“Luis,” Theresa said raising an eyebrow and letting him know she knew that he didn’t equate Sheridan to the rest of his girlfriends.

“Listen, quit worrying about me and go out and talk to Sheridan. It’s rude to leave your guest, you know that.”

“She’s chatting up a storm with Gwen,” Theresa said, rolling her eyes at the latter’s name.

Luis frowned again and looked at her from the sink. He knew that Gwen had hurt Theresa in the past and he knew that he couldn’t expect Theresa to like Gwen but in light of his new relationship with her, he wanted her to at least try. Maybe that way, she could accept it if she ever heard about his relationship. “Gwen is Sheridan’s best friend.”

“I know,” Theresa said with a sigh. “But the last time Gwen was here, she thrashed the place and tried to kill me. I’m sorry if I have issues with her. I don’t like her in my home.”

“This is Mama and Papa’s home,” Luis said, his grip on the sponge getting tighter as water started to drain out of it. “You live with Ethan a few blocks away. I live here and I invited Gwen in.”

Theresa stared at him, wide eyed. “What’s gotten into you? Why are you defending Gwen?”

“I’m not defending Gwen,” Luis answered, turning to face her. “I’m sure she can take care of herself. I am merely pointing out that you’re acting very rudely. I know that the two of you are not the best of friends, but it’s not all her fault. As I recall, you’re the one that took her fiancée from her.”

“That was a long time ago,” Theresa stated, her head held up high. “I thought you accepted Ethan. Well now I know how you really feel about the whole situation.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Theresa,” Luis said his eyes flaming. “I am happy for you and Ethan but just like you said, what happened with Gwen was a long time ago. It’s time for you to let sleeping dogs lie. It’s not like she’s here all the time. I invited her in and am driving her home. You didn’t have to bite her head off. I thought Mama taught you more manners than that.”

Theresa studied Luis’ face for a few more minutes before, tearing her gaze away and shaking her head. “Something really weird has gotten into you.”

Three guesses as to what that is, a voice mocked Luis. Ignoring the voice and giving his sister a lop-sided grin, he turned around to finish the dishes. “Nothing has gotten into me. Go back into the living room, Theresa and let me finish.”

She nodded and left the kitchen, probably sensing that Luis wanted to be alone. Once she was gone, he quickly finished the rest of the dishes and then headed to his room to get some clothes. He wondered how he was going to explain the duffel bag to the group outside and hoped that they wouldn’t even realize that it was with him. Once he was outside, he saw Theresa and Ethan finishing their cocoa on the couch and Sheridan and Gwen in the corner, talking. Gwen met Luis’ gaze over Sheridan’s shoulder, her expression unreadable. Seeing Gwen and Sheridan standing there, together was getting to him and he knew he had to get out of the house before he exploded. “Well, come on Gwen, I’ll take you home.”

“No, that’s okay.” Sheridan said suddenly, avoiding meeting Luis’ gaze again. “I live much closer to Gwen and it would be more logical if I took her home. I need to get back anyway. Ivy has some things she needs me to do for her.”

“You’re right,” Gwen said as her gaze returned to Luis again. He looked at her quizzically but her expression remained blank as she smiled at him politely as if he were a complete stranger, instead of someone who had spent night after night memorizing her face and body. “Thank you for the ride, Luis.”

He held her gaze, everyone in the room oblivious to what he was trying to relay to her and how desperately he was trying to get her to show him that she wanted him to spend the night with her. What was she thinking? Why had she jumped at the idea of Sheridan driving her home when a few minutes ago she couldn’t wait for them to get there? Did she not want him there anymore? Had something happened that made her change her mind? He realized that he was staring, when Sheridan pulled Gwen to the door. Clearing his throat, he forced a polite smile. “Yeah Gwen, sure.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Gwen fidgeted with the radio in Sheridan’s car, avoiding looking over at her best friend. She switched stations before she had enough time to comprehend what the song was and she could tell by Sheridan’s sigh, that she was getting on her nerves. “Gwen, I liked that song!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Gwen apologized nervously. “You should have said something earlier.”

“I would’ve if you can stop fidgeting with the radio,” Sheridan joked. “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden? You’re acting like one big nerve ending.”

“Just hyper,” Gwen replied, giving her friend grin hoping that it would mask her deception. “Had a lot of coffee at work today. You know me and coffee don’t mesh well together.”

Sheridan laughed and then started to drum her fingers on the steering wheel as her car hurtled down the road. Gwen settled back on her seat and concentrated on the song, listening to the lyrics. The drive continued in silence and Gwen momentarily glanced at her, trying to see if Sheridan was letting out any negative vibes. Gwen had known from past experiences that Sheridan was a woman who’s emotions were right on the surface and if anything was upsetting her, it would be visible in her eyes. But over the last year, Sheridan had seemed to develop the ability to hide what she was feeling.

Something thudded guiltily in Gwen’s heart when she realized that the wall that had gone up around Sheridan’s heart was due to her break up with Luis. Steeling her nerves, Gwen smoothed her hands over her skirt and took a deep breath. “Hey Sher?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think that you and Luis will ever get back together?” Gwen plunged forward.

If Sheridan was surprised or upset she didn’t let it show and only glanced at Gwen for a second. “No. I don’t think we ever will.”

Gwen nodded slowly and the looked out the window. “Why?”

“Because,” Sheridan answered at length, “It was never meant to be. We tried. We both did but we were kidding ourselves. Luis and me…we’re just too explosive.”

“I remember you saying that you’d never love anyone but Luis,” Gwen urged, glad that Sheridan could talk to her about it but scared to death about what it meant for her and Luis. Not to mention the guilt. “What about that?”

“I meant what I said,” Sheridan answered as she pulled up to the curb of Gwen’s apartment complex. “It’s just…sometimes, things are too difficult. Maybe love does conquer everything but sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

Gwen closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. Sheridan parked the car and turned to Gwen, who was nodding. “I know what you mean. I used to think that if Ethan and I loved each other, no one could keep us apart.”

“That works in a perfect world,” Sheridan said with a wry smile. “We both know that thinking like that is a childish fantasy that is fun while it lasts but as soon as the magic stops, you have nowhere left to go.”

“Doesn’t say much about love does it?” Gwen asked with a half-smile.

“Not much,” Sheridan agreed with a smile. Then, the smile turned into a laugh. “Would you listen to us? Pessimistic women…when did we become that way?”

“We reality gave us a big slap in the face,” Gwen said with a small laugh. She grabbed Sheridan’s hand that was resting on the gear and looked her friend in the eye. “But we promised never to give hope, didn’t we? We said we’d find our soul mates. You have to believe that you’ll love again one day.”

Sheridan’s smile was sad and for some odd reason, Gwen felt her heart lurch at the expression. “Some of us don’t have that luxury, Gwen. Listen, I really need to get back and help Ivy. Can I call you for lunch some time?”

“Of course,” Gwen replied, disturbed by Sheridan’s attitude. She kissed her friend’s cheek and then got out of the car, waving as Sheridan sped away. Gwen took a minute to collect herself and then took a deep breath. She thought about Luis’ expression at the Lopez Fitzgerald when he saw Sheridan. The pain was unmistakable. She thought about Sheridan and how much seeing Luis hurt her too even though she didn’t show it. “How the hell are you going to handle this, Gwen?”

Deciding she needed to clear her head, Gwen headed for her own car that was parked in the complex’s lot and drove towards the wharf, guilt and confusion filling her mind and heart.