Chapter 2: Color Me Strong

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
- Wesley, “The Princess Bride”

“Excuse me?” Gwen asked shocked as she looked at her mother. Was her mother crazy? Was she standing there in an elevator telling her that she was going to win back a man who was now married? Was she for real? “I don’t think I heard you right.”

“You heard me, Gwen.” Rebecca answered with a ridiculous grin as she pulled Gwen into the closing elevator. “I mean, darling, you look so exuberant. You’re rested, you’re regrouped and you’re strong again. This is the time to show Ethan what he’s been missing.”

Gwen looked at her mother with a mixture of disgust and shock. Gwen had just come back to Harmony not hours ago, she had just lived through the shock of her father’s second heart attack and her mother was planning and scheming to get her claws on the Crane fortune. Gwen cocked her eyebrows at the concept. “Mother, Ethan isn’t even a Crane anymore thanks to us. Why do you want me chasing after him?”

“He still has a lot of money, Gwen.” Rebecca explained calmly as the elevator made its descent. “His grandfather, Governor Winthrop left him a fortune when he passed away a few months ago, Ivy had a trust fund in his name and he’s a prominent lawyer in town. He’s living famously.”

Gwen processed all the information and rubbed her temples. So Ethan was well off now. Some minor guilt was lifted off her shoulders. She knew that him having money wasn’t the redeeming factor of her mistake but now she knew that Ethan had survived and for that she was grateful. For her, Ethan had been about money and power to some level. But it was in the past when she was stupid and superficial. “Still, we’re Hotchkisses, Mother.”

“So?” Rebecca replied. “Gwennie, just think about the shattered look on Mrs. Fajita Winthrop when she sees you looking fabulous and Ethan is completely smitten by you all over again.”

“It doesn’t work that way,” Gwen said as the elevator opened and the two women stepped outside. “It’s not like I’ll bat my eyelashes and flaunt my chest and Ethan will coming running back to me. Love doesn’t work like that!”

“Of course it does,” Rebecca admonished. “It’s all about sex appeal. What it all boils down to is a man needing a hot, sexy woman in bed with them.”

“Ethan already has that,” Gwen retorted bitterly as she watched hospital personnel make their way in and out of the hospital. “Theresa is what he wants.”

“That’s what he thinks,” Rebecca said with a sly smile. “Just wait until he sees you!”

“No Mother!” Gwen said harshly, stunning Rebecca. “I don’t want Ethan back anymore. I don’t think I ever did want him back. He humiliated me, he hurt me, he freaking broke up with me on what was supposed to be one of the happiest night of my life and there is no way in hell that I am going to run after him anymore. I might be back in town again Mother, but this isn’t the old Gwen Hotchkiss. I’m back with a vengeance and I have been pushed around for the last freaking time!”

Rebecca stood there, dazed, confused and speechless as Gwen looked at her seething. Rebecca brought her hand to her heart and stared at Gwen with a mixture of confusion, awe and a glint of anger. “Gwennie…”

“Save it, Mother.” Gwen said as she hastily walked through the door of the hospital. “I’m going to the Book Café to get some coffee. I’ll be back to check on Daddy later. That’s the only reason I’m here after all.”

She practically ran out of the hospital, not turning around when her mother called after her. She was angry and she was hurt and she didn’t need her mother to open old wounds for her. She quickly made it down the street, trying to figure out exactly where she was going. It had been two years almost since she had left Harmony and although everything looked the same in the quaint little town, she couldn’t remember where she was exactly.

She realized she didn’t care. She just needed to get away. Away from her mother and her insane notions, away from the hospital where her father lay fighting for his life. Away from everyone and everything that was bringing back memories of her past and her misdeeds and her failures. But she knew that as long as she was in Harmony she would be constantly reminded of it.

She and Ethan and spent so many wonderful times in harmony before everything turned sour. They went to The Country Club, sailing, parties at the Seascape and so much more. They had friends together, and their families supported them. And then there were their private moments. Moments he’d pull her aside just to tell her that he loved her. Times when he’d push them into closets and bathrooms just for a kiss or an embarrassing grope fest. Or when they’d call each other from a business trip just to hear the other’s voice. Nights when they’d lay in bed after their love making and just talk about the future and what it held for them.

And then Pandora’s box had been opened.

Everything she had believed to be true about herself, about Ethan, about them and their love had been shattered by an eighteen year old who Ethan had fallen in love with. And with a few words at an unbelievingly spectacular night, he had shattered her dreams and her hopes along with her heart and she was still left picking up the pieces.

Ethan had moved on, to bigger and better things and here she was two years later, still thinking about him and what might’ve been. All because she had to come back here - to where it had all wonderfully begun and then tragically ended. Ethan had a wife, a child on the way, a job, a home and he had love. He was full - he was complete.

And she wasn’t the one fulfilling all his dreams. Because he never fulfilled hers.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Gwendolyn,” she muttered to herself as she approached the beach. She stood in the sand gazing at the choppy water in front of her and wondering when the chips had started to fall and why they hadn’t fallen into place for her yet.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Luis stopped at the read light and sighed. Feeling unbelievably hot, he rolled down the window and leaned his elbow on the ledge. Sighing he ran a hand over his face and waited for the light to change. His mind however was not focused on driving. It was somewhere else altogether.

Sitting there, in his police cruiser, he knew that there were of few things about life he was sure of. The national debt would never be paid, he would never like broccoli, the only good thing about summer was women in bikinis and that Gwen Hotchkiss was by no means the type of woman he could get involved with. But then again, he wasn’t sure there was a type.

The last two serious relationships he had were with women who were so different in many ways. There was Beth who was sweet, caring, anal and a jealous shrew. He had loved her so deeply once, even though right now, it felt like lifetimes ago. With Beth everything was new. She was his first kiss, his first time and his first real love. They had been friends long before they had started dating and with everything that had happened between them they had managed to stay best friends. He still loved her and he guessed apart of him always would because their relationship was a major part of who he was.

And years after Beth there had been no one. A few blind dates that Hank had set him up with and some awkward dates with people he knew in high school but nothing too serious. He had to take care of his family and it had been the whole reason he had broken up with Beth too. Love wasn’t his top priorities for most of his adult life and he had become accustomed to locking his heart up. Emotions, hurt and pain had no place in his life then and Pilar used to say to him, “I don’t want you to just survive, Luis. I want you to live.”

Then Sheridan had come, literally crashing into his life. He had fallen hard and fast although it took them a while to get to the point where he could tell her he loved her. If he had to pinpoint when he had fallen in love with her he wouldn’t be able to say because it had taken him by surprise. After Beth he never wanted to love again. Part of him believed that if he married Beth he would’ve ended up leaving her just like Martin had left them. And Luis knew he didn’t want to be that man. So he had sworn of women. He had his family and that was all he needed. But Sheridan came along and brought in a whirlwind of emotions, adventures and pain. He had been swept up by it all and he knew that he was still going through its aftermath. Breaking up with Sheridan had been harder for him to do than it had been with Beth because somewhere deep down he knew he and Beth were never meant to be. With Sheridan, he though he had found everything.

But everything hadn’t been enough to keep them together.

And now there was Gwen. No, there is no Gwen, a voice sounded in his head. You know what you two had was purely physical. And it’s never going to happen again. It was one night and with Beth and Sheridan it’s a lifetime of memories.

So that was it. The only thing that the three women had in common was their hair-trigger tempers and that was one of the things that attracted Luis to all of them. But the similarities ended there, leaving him at a loss for what was going on in his head.

Suddenly he found himself driving again towards the beach and he wondered how out of it he was that he didn’t even remember the signal changing and shifting into gear again. He pulled off into the parking lot and decided to take a walk on the beach to get rid of some of them nerve-wracking thoughts. He bent down to take off his sneakers and the rolled up the bottom of his jeans just in case he decided to go into the water.

The balmy summer breeze coupled with the salty smell of the ocean air instantly soothed his nerves and her continued to walking relishing in the feel of sand under his feet. He walked closer to the jetty and his eyes immediately narrowed as he saw a figure sitting on the rocks jus a few feet away. He squinted trying to make out who it was and realized it was woman. He walked closer to her and then called out. “Ma’am, are you okay?”

The woman turned sharply to look at him and his eyes widened as he saw who it was. “Luis?”

“Gwen?” he asked in an almost whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Gwen what are you doing here?”

“Well, I do live here.” Gwen answered as Luis made his way up the rocks and stood beside her. He looked down at her in confusion. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied then crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?”

“There you go again with your concern, Luis,” Gwen said with a soft sigh. “Sometimes people just like to come a sit by the ocean and nothing has to be wrong with them, you know?”

“I heard about your father,” Luis said ignoring her sarcastic answer. “How is he doing?”

Gwen turned away from him and stared into the ocean again. She sighed and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s still in a coma.”

“I’m sorry,” Luis answered quietly. “I thought you’d be making an appearance when you heard about it. I just didn’t expect to see you here so soon.”

“I didn’t expect to be back here so soon,” Gwen answered. Luis wondered if she didn’t want to be here because of him or because of Ethan. “But I guess a year and a half is a long time to be away from home, right?”

“I don’t think there’s a right time to be back,” Luis stated looking at her profile. It took all his inner strength not to touch her hair and face. He was afraid that if he did, things might get complicated and he wouldn’t be able to leave her. “I think it just has to feel right.”

“Maybe,” she answered and he wondered if it did feel right. She sighed and then turned to him again with a small smile. “So how have you been doing Luis?”

“Okay, I guess.” It was his turn to look away from her now. He knew that there was an underlying issue between the two of them that they were both trying to desperately avoid. Their goodbye in Boston hadn’t actually been one of the most comfortable moments of his life and their lovemaking had definitely been something else. Sex, a voice reminded. It was just sex.

An awkward silence hung over them. Gwen returned her gaze to the ocean, as did Luis. He began to think of a thousand ways to try to clear what had happened between them but somehow, ‘About last time…’ and ‘Gwen, it was fun while it lasted…’ seemed severely inappropriate and he wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to tell her that.

“I should be heading back,” Gwen said as she looked over her shoulder.

Luis’s brows shot up. Okay so it wasn’t exactly what he had in mind but it was clear that her mind was on other things and she didn’t want to talk to him about Boston. Apparently it didn’t matter that much to her. “Yeah, me too. Can I give you a ride back to the Hotchkiss mansion?”

“No,” Gwen said as she stood up. Luis followed suit and helped her from down from the jetty. She looked up at him and smiled slowly. “I’m going back to the hospital.”

“I see, can I give you ride back there then?”

“I’ll walk,” Gwen replied obviously wanting to stay as far away from him as possible.

He nodded and then smiled at her. “I’ll see you around, Gwen.”

She nodded and as he turned to leave she grabbed his arm. He turned to her confused and saw her hesitate. “I, um, I’m don’t live at the mansion anymore. Before I left last year, I bought an apartment not far from here.”

He didn’t know why she was telling him. “Really? Where?”

“Crystal Point Towers. Do you know where it is?” Luis nodded and looked at her for some type of understanding. Why was she telling him and why was she so flustered about it. “I just thought…I figured you might…you might want to know.”

“I think it’s a very independent move on your part,” Luis answered awkwardly. What else was he supposed to say? “Maybe I’ll drop with a housewarming gift.”

She smiled and he was shocked by what he said. “That would be nice. Haven’t gotten around to decorating it much.”

“Goodnight Gwen,” Luis said hoping to leave before he said something that might lead to something worse than offering her a housewarming gift.

“Goodnight Luis,” Gwen replied as he turned to leave again. He walked back to his police cruiser, his thoughts in a bigger loop than before.