Chapter One
 

Julian Crane sighed then raised a hand and ran it over his unshaven face. He had no idea what day it was
or even what time, but he knew the feelings coursing within him. He wanted a drink. Badly.

But he absolutely refused to give in to the temptation. He was not going to let the alcohol win. Not this time.
Because to let the alcohol win meant letting his father win too and that's something he could no longer do.

He was through being Alistair Crane's whipping boy. He was through letting his father control him. Threaten
him. Make him do things he really didn't want to do. All in the name of CRANE.

He snorted. He may have Alistair Crane's blood running through his veins, but he also had his mother's.
Somewhere inside of him lurked all the goodness that she was and even if it killed him - which it very well
could if his father found out about it - he was going to find it. He was going to find it and then he was going
to beat Alistair at his own game.

"Julian?" An irritated - and somewhat worried - feminine voice called out from behind him.

He turned, unsure if he really wanted to see her yet knowing he wasn't strong enough to fight the temptation
not to, and the moment his eyes connected with hers, emotions he'd never forgotten barreled through his
system. "Hello, Eve."

Her brown eyes changed from irritated to concerned in the blink of an eye and he wondered what she saw
in his that made such a rapid change. "What's wrong? You look…awful."

He gave her a wry smile. "Thank you. Just what I always wanted to hear."

She arched a brow then took a tentative step toward him, before she suddenly stopped. Her gaze hardened.
"Is this some kind of trick?" Her eyes darted around as if looking for something and she frowned when she
found nothing out of the ordinary. "Julian - "

"I'm fine." He whispered, staring into her eyes another full second, before finally finding the courage to turn
around. "You can go."

"You mean I'm dismissed?" She asked somewhat snidely. "Wow, thank you so much." He could see her
shaking her head even though he wasn't facing her. He knew her so well. It should really worry him, how well
he knew her. "What's is going on Julian? Why do you look like something that cat dragged in? Have you
been drinking again?"

He shook his head. "No. I haven't had a drop of liquor in days."

"So you're in withdrawal?"

He laughed, but the sound was anything but happy. "I'm not in withdrawal. I'm just thinking is all."

"And thinking causes you to look this bad? Maybe you should do less thinking?"

"You always said I didn't do enough." He countered, sliding her a sideways glance. She was biting her
bottom lip and he sighed at the sight then turned back around before his libido got the best of him. "I really
am fine, Eve. You don't have to stay and pretend to care. I'm not going to take a dive off the docks if that's
what you're worried about."

"It wasn't." She replied almost absently. "I've never seen you like this. It's almost like…"

Her voice trailed off, but he refused to ask her what she was going to say. He knew it was only a matter of
time before she walked away from him again and this time he wasn't going to taunt her with the past. It would
do neither of them any good anyway. It caused him - and her too he imagined - far too much -

"Pain." Eve replied breaking into his thoughts and unknowingly finishing his sentence for him. "You look like
you're in pain."

He nodded. "And I deserve every bit of it too."

He looked at her then and wasn't at all surprised to find confusion marring her beautiful face. He'd often
confused her over the years, but there was something different about her confusion this time. Worry mingled
inside and gave him the distinct impression that, try as she might not to, Eve Russell still cared for him.

Amazing, he thought smiling inwardly. He had hurt her in one of the worst ways possible yet for some strange
reason she still cared what happened to him. Forget amazing. It was positively astounding.

"You're scaring me, Julian." She replied searching his eyes with hers. "You're not acting like yourself."

He chuckled. "That's not a bad thing, is it? I mean you once called me the devil incarnate. I would think not
acting like my usual self would be a good thing."

"What is going on with you?" She asked raising her hands to her hips. "What happened?"

He supposed he could tell her about the evil plot his father had to break up Sheridan and Luis. He supposed
he could tell her how Alistair wanted him to kill his own sister. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't tell her any of it.
Not because he feared she'd go to the police with the information. It didn't really matter if she did that
considering he'd already gone there himself and the police were at this very minute, arriving at the mansion
to arrest his father for attempted murder. "It doesn't matter."

She frowned again then slowly shook her head. "I know something is going on with you, Julian Crane, and
I want to know what it is! What are you up to?"

He sighed. She would never believe him even if he did tell her what was going on. She'd think he was lying.
Not that he could blame her for her low opinion of him. He'd given her every reason in the world to mistrust
him. Sometimes he could be a real bastard and unfortunately she'd seen that side far too many times now.
"I'm not up to anything, Eve. You should really go. I don't think you're being here with me is such a good
idea."

She started to open her mouth - to question him again more than likely - but he cut her off before she could.
"Eve, please, just go. The last thing you - or I - need is TC finding out you were talking to me. Or worse yet
showing concern over me."

"Now you really are scaring me." She replied taking a step closer and placing her hand against his forehead.
"You don't feel like you have a fever, but -"
Her words broke off as he reached up and capture her hand with his, automatically lowering it away from his
face. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be touching me, Eve, especially in public. Someone could see
you."

"Don't be ridiculous." She said pulling her hand free from his grasp. "I'm a doctor. I'm concerned about your
health."

"Is that all your concerned with, Eve?" He questioned softly. "My health? Because it seems like you're
concerned about more than just my physical state."

"That's because I am." She replied, searching his eyes again, her own suddenly unreadable. "I'm also
concerned about your mental state."

That made him laugh. "Yes, I imagine you would be. So what's the verdict, Eve? Want to commit me for a
twenty-four hour psychiatric evaluation? What would be your reason? Julian Crane grows a conscience?"

"Is that what you've done?" Eve asked, disbelief filling her voice. "Grown a conscience? If so then forgive
me for being skeptical, because I wasn't even aware you knew what a conscience was let alone had one."

"Me either. Amazing what one learns about oneself, isn't it?" He shook his head. "You should really go, Eve.
I don't want to keep you any longer."

A frown suddenly marred her face and he wasn't at all surprised by her next question. She was far too quick
not to question his actions. "Why do you keep trying to get rid of me?"

Because if my father learned what I did before the police arrived to arrest him then you're being near me right
now is putting you in danger. He closed his eyes briefly, praying that wasn't the case, then turned his
attention back to the rolling water in front of him. "Why aren't you going? I've given you a reason to walk
away. Why haven't you taken it? Why are you still here?"
 

* * * * *
Good question, Eve thought her brow furrowing in self-confusion. Why was she still here? She had no reason
to be. Julian was acting strangely, but he obviously wasn't in need of a doctor. He wasn't sick and his mental
faculties seemed to be working just fine.

But something was wrong. She could feel it. And that was why she couldn’t walk away. No matter how much
she told herself she should. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong with you."

She watched in fascination as he raised a hand to run it over his unshaven face and she was suddenly struck
by how sad he seemed. Devastated even. "Julian - "

"Please leave me alone, Eve. I don't want to talk anymore. Just go."

Eve didn't move. Not even when he turned back around and stepped closer to her, invading her personal
space as he raised an arm to softly touch her cheek with the knuckles of his right hand. "Please. If you ever
cared about me at all, just go. Now."

"Julian -"

That was as far as she got before his head suddenly began to descend toward hers and lips lightly touched
her own. She knew even as he did it that the action was meant to scare her into leaving and she knew she
do just that, but somehow her feet wouldn’t comprehend what her brain was telling them. At least that was
the only explanation that seemed to make sense. The only reason she had for why she would let Julian
Crane kiss her again. Because there was just no way it could be because she wanted him to kiss her. That
was just absurd. Wasn't it?