Regrets

I am stepping forward with this Evian fan fiction to when Julian married Rebecca. Julian had just returned from his honeymoon, which was more of a trip from hell than a happy event. He had to marry her to keep her quiet and to keep out of jail, but more importantly he married her to protect Eve. She knew they had shared a past together and he couldn’t let his new wife ruin Eve’s life anymore. She had suffered so much thanks to Julian’s old ways and Liz interfering. He married Rebecca to shut her up, but he despised the fact that he had to have another miserable marriage to a woman he didn’t love, it was bad enough being married to Ivy. Julian looked at Rebecca as she ordered around the hired help; she was sure enjoying having access to all of his finances. She was already acting like the biggest snob in the world and she had run up his credit card while they were away on new clothes, and new costumes for their wild nights together. He shuddered at the thought of the sex games she had planned. He didn’t mind them before but he was a changed man now and wasn’t really interested and either was little Julian.

“Pookie, I saw the loveliest pair of earrings the other day, so give me your credit card now.”

“First of all, have you ever heard of the word please Rebecca? And you have already spent too much, my bill will be atrocious when it comes in.”

“Who cares, you have money coming out of your you know what, let’s live it up Julian.”

“There are more important things in this world than material things dear.”

“Oh like what Julian, love? Don’t make me sick, love is for saps, but wait a minute, that is what you have become once again since Eve Russell came back into your life. Forget her, forget all that crap, money is where’s it at, you can buy everything with it.”

“You know Becky, it’s hard to believe that Gwen is your daughter, she is nothing like you. She is not money hungry like you are.”

“I don’t care Julian, besides you are a free man thanks to me, so if I want to buy everything in sight, you can’t stop me.”

He just rolled his eyes and went up to his room, leaving her to continue annoying the help, he needed some time away from Rebecca, even though she was now his new bride. Julian pulled out a small box from under his bed, which was locked; he took the key from his pocket and opened it. He may have been married to her now, but there were still things that he kept from her. The box was filled with things of his days with Eve including her tape, which Rebecca tried more than once to ruin.

“Oh Eve, how could this happen? How could I have ever let it get to this point?” he said to himself.

He locked the door and put on Eve’s tape, he didn’t want Rebecca interrupting his moment of listening to the love of his life. He figured she would be busy for a while anyway. He sat there, closed his eyes for a few minutes, taking in her sweet and soulful voice, he daydreamed for a moment, imagining her in his arms. He fantasized about her and what a life they could have had if they were the ones who were married. He couldn’t help but picture her when he walked down the aisle that day to Rebecca. But she understood why he did it, to save her, to protect her. Though Eve was quite upset at the same time that he had to marry Rebecca when he didn’t love her. Julian jumped when he heard Rebecca at the bedroom door. He shut off the tape, and quickly put it back in the box. When he unlocked the door, she looked at him.

“What were you doing, what are you hiding from me?” she asked curiously.

“Nothing, I was just taking a nap that’s all and I didn’t want any interruptions.” He said lying to her face.

“Well no naps Julian, we have only been back a little while from our honeymoon, wasn’t Cancun fabulous?”

“Uh yes.”

“Anyway, I want you to do something for me?” she said.

“What’s what dear?”

“Well, I want you to wake up little Julian.” She said devilishly.

“I am not exactly in the mood right now Rebecca.”

“Don’t give me that bull, you tried to get away with not having sex on our honeymoon. If you don’t give me what I want, then I will have to go to Luis.”

“You do realize you are blackmailing me in every possible way, now if we don’t make love, then I will go to jail?”

“You got it Julian.”

“Sorry, but I would rather be in jail than be told that I have to do it at your beck and call.” He said standing up to her.

“Where’s the phone?”

“Get over yourself woman, you are like a dog in heat, just relax for a bit, and if you do, then maybe you will get what you want. But there is no way you are telling me when we are going to do it.”

“Fine then, I am going over to Gwen’s for a while, but when I get back, be prepared to stand at attention.”

“Whatever.” He said annoyed.

Rebecca left and Julian decided to take a walk for a bit, he needed to get some air, anything to get away from that walking hormone. He decided to go to the park where he had spent time with Eve. He remembered the time that she was afraid that she had lost T.C. and he took her there to comfort her. They had spent quite a bit of time there. It was one of his favourite places to be to do some soul searching. Julian sat down on the bench, it was a nice evening and the park was lit up well. He sat there watching as people went by on the path, couples actually. It saddened him to see some of them as they looked very much in love. He sighed, still finding it hard to believe that he was now married to Rebecca. It angered him that his life had turned out this way that he had been too weak to stand up to his father so many years ago. He couldn’t change the past, but how he wished he could change the future. Julian sat there almost in a trance staring at the ground for a moment.

“Julian?”

He looked up suddenly to see Eve standing in front of him.

“Eve, hi, what are you doing here?” he said standing up.

“I just needed a walk, T.C. is at the youth centre and I always feel like I can clear my head if I just have some time to myself, where’s Rebecca?”

“She’s visiting Gwen so I decided to get some air.” He said staring at her.

“So, how are things going Julian, how’s married life?”

“Oh Eve, do I really have to tell you? Rebecca is a thorn in my side, just like Ivy was.”

“I am sorry that you had to go through with this, I really wish you could have said no.”

“Oh believe me dear, I wanted to, but I wanted to protect you. You mean so much to me and I would rather keep her quiet than see your life anymore in shambles.”

“Julian, it was so selfless of you, but I hate to see you like this. I mean I am sure you love her in some ways right?”

“No Eve, I don’t love Rebecca at all, it was always more of a relationship of lust, never love. I only have eyes for you.” He said touching her face.

“Oh Julian.” She said hugging him.

He closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body so close to his. He hadn’t been able to spend anytime with her in a while and it had been killing him.

“So, where do you go from here Julian? Just stay married I guess?”

“Oh Eve, I wish more than anything that I could wake up from this nightmare. Go back to that vision in the green fog of what kind of life we could have had together. Ever since that incident on the jet, my heart has been aching even more for you Eve.”

“I know Julian and I still feel that I couldn’t live without you in my life either.”

“Eve, are you really happy with T.C.? I know I have asked you this before, but do you feel the same about him now?”

“It doesn’t matter Julian, even if I was single, you are not and unfortunately you can’t exactly get out of this marriage right?”

“I want out of it so bad, in fact, maybe I should tell Rebecca to go to hell. Eve, I would risk everything for you darling, I would do anything for you, even fight T.C. for you.”

“But he could really kill you Julian.”

“It would be worth it if I could have you.”

“Oh Julian, I won’t risk having him hurt you, I’m sorry, I wish there was another way that all of this could work out for you.”

“Eve, if there was a way that we could be together, would you leave T.C.?”

“Oh Julian.” She said looking down to the ground.

“Eve, be honest with me, you know I love you more than life itself, do you love me?” he asked making her look at him.

“Of course I love you Julian.”

“Enough that if there was a chance for both of us to be together, you would take it?”

“That’s kind of silly question Julian, it’s not real, it can’t happen.” She said.

“Never say never Eve, I am so in love with you. Marriage means nothing to me if I am not married to you.” He said kissing her cheek.

“I admit that ever since you risked your life for me that I have had thoughts of us being together. I will never ever be able to repay you for saving my life.”

“You never have to repay me, I am just glad you are safe Eve, I could never have let you go like that, no matter what. So answer my question my dear, if there was a chance, would you leave T.C. for me?”

“There isn’t a chance though.”

“Eve don’t think with your head here please, I just want to know if you would ever consider it. Like I said, if there was ever a chance.”

She thought long and hard before answering him.

“Okay Julian, look at this way, if there was a chance that everything worked out, that I could leave T.C. but not ruin my life because of it, then yes I would leave him for you.”

“Oh Eve.” He said hugging her so tightly.

“Well I have to go for now, maybe we will run into each other again.” Eve said.

“Eve, wait.” He said grabbing her arm.

“Yes?”

“Eve, go away with me.”

“What, Julian, no, you are married, we can’t do that.”

“But Eve, I want to see you, I want to spend time with you, let me take you somewhere.” He said smiling.

“I can’t, you are a married man now.”

“Married to someone I don’t love Eve, like I told you, I wish I wasn’t married to Rebecca.”

“But you are and it would be wrong.”

“No Eve, it would be oh so right. I mean, I don’t want to be a cheater, but I don’t love her.”

“But then you aren’t being faithful to your wife.”

“She is after my money, she doesn’t love me either Eve. I only love you and I will tell you that if we were married, I would never ever cheat on you, you are everything to me.”

“But you would on Rebecca?”

“I know it doesn’t seem right, but she is here for the money, not love, she has admitted that to me. What kind of a marriage is based on blackmail Eve?” he said.

“I know Julian, but we can’t be together, how can I leave T.C.?”

“Darling, you don’t have to leave him right now, you can be with me as well.”

“Behind his back Julian?”

“We share such a special and deep love for one another Eve, or at least I do. You may be married to T.C., but it doesn’t mean he is the love of your life.”

“I know that, but I wasn’t exactly raised to fool around on my husband, okay sure we kissed more than once before you married Rebecca, but still. We didn’t take it too far.”

“How does it make you feel seeing me today?” Julian asked.

“It’s nice Julian, ever since we connected again, I do enjoy spending time with you.”

“So then what’s stopping you?” he said.

“That ring.” She said pointing to his finger.

“I’ll take it off.” He said.

“No you can’t do that Julian.” She said smiling.

“I know that, but think about it at least okay? I would like to see you again, I really would Eve.”

“I know you would, okay I will think about it then.”

“Oh by the way, I have something for you.” Julian said.

“What’s that Julian?”

“Something to remember me by.”

Julian pulled her close to him and kissed her very passionately for what seemed like forever.

“I will let you get back to your walk then Eve.”

She looked at him still overcome by the kiss.

“Okay then Julian, I will definitely be in touch.”

He watched her as she walked away.

“She is such an amazing and beautiful woman, I love her so much.” He said shaking his head.

Julian went back to the mansion, when he opened the door, there were three men sitting on the couch.

“Hello, can I help you?”

“No we are fine thanks, we are just waiting for Mrs. Crane, and she hired us.”

Julian cringed hearing them say Mrs. Crane, the only Mrs. Crane in his world would be Eve.

“What do you mean she hired you?”

“To redecorate, she said the mansion needs some work, are you her husband?” the man asked.

“Yes and I’m sorry, but you will have to leave.”

“But why?”

“Mrs. Crane and I have to discuss this before we hire just anybody, I will show you out.” Julian said.

He sat on the couch after they were gone and poured himself a drink.

“Julian, where are the men?”

“I told them to go.”

“Excuse me, I hired them.”

“Yes and without consulting me? I am not just paying for anyone to redecorate, the place is just fine as it is.”

“It needs a woman’s touch, it reminds me of a love nest.”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

“For me yes, but it reminds me of all the women you bedded before me.”

“Oh please Rebecca, don’t be silly.”

“Now give me your Rolodex, I need to make some more phone calls.”

“No more phone calls today, if you want to discuss this, we can sit down and talk about it. You are not blowing my whole bank account in a day.” He said annoyed.

“Discuss what, I am the lady of the house now.”

“More like the beast.” He said under his breath.

“What was that Julian?”

“Nothing, next time you decide to use my money, let me know first.”

“I told you I could do what I want.”

“And I told you no, you may be blackmailing me but since you are my wife, you had better learn to compromise.” Julian said.

“Oh right, like Ivy ever did that.”

“Becky, I don’t care, you are not Ivy, and you had better learn that.”

“Oh Julian, don’t be so cheap.”

“Never mind then you are so pig headed, I have some phone calls to make.”

“What did I tell you when you came back, that you were going to do something?” Rebecca said.

“I have a headache, I am not going to have sex at this very moment.”

“Julian sit down now.”

He sighed but agreed.

“I know you love Eve, but you will never have her, I have made sure of that, so you better face up to the reality that I am your wife and we may not be in love, but I am still married to you. And part of this marriage includes us getting together intimately, do you understand me?”

“This marriage is only happening because you are so cruel to Eve and you want to use blackmail just to get my money. You could have married my father if you wanted the Crane fortune.”

“Yes I could have, but I wanted to be with you. Alistair is so… I don’t know, he is perhaps a bit too mean for me.”

“And you are just as nasty as my father, you would have been perfect for each other.”

“But I want little Julian not little Alistair.” She said stroking his leg.

“Oh give me a break.”

“So are we going upstairs now then?” she said.

“Fine, let’s get it over with.” He said dryly.

“Julian!”

“Come on, let’s go.” He said trying to make an effort.

She took him by the hand and led him upstairs.

Eve returned from her walk to find T.C. sitting on the couch. They were still having problems; things became worse after Chad and Whitney broke up. T.C. was still quite angry with Eve because of the fact that Whitney was nearly killed in L.A. by Latoya. But at the same time was relieved that she had come to her senses and left him. They had convinced her to come home as well. She had been leaning a lot on Fox, T.C. wasn’t sure that was any better, but at least it wasn’t Chad. Julian wasn’t thrilled about it either, but he couldn’t stop him, he just hoped Whitney wouldn’t rely on him too much. Liz was still kicking around as well, she still hadn’t told T.C. the truth about Eve but she was pushing more than ever to split them apart. Unfortunately T.C. was taking the bait and was relying more on Liz because she was telling him what he wanted to hear. And Eve felt that it might only be a matter of time that Liz would possibly get closer to T.C. without the truth even having to be revealed.

“T.C., how were things at the youth centre?”

“Fine, you just missed Whitney.”

“Oh, she was here?”

“Yes.”

Whitney had decided that she wanted to move out on her own when she came back to Harmony. She had enjoyed having some freedom in L.A. and that was one of the conditions she gave her parents if she came back.

“Too bad, I will have to go and see her.”

“Yes you will, but considering you are always so busy at the hospital.”

“Now don’t start that again T.C., let’s go somewhere tonight.”

“You have the time?”

“Yes of course I do, let’s go to the Lobster Shack for dinner.”

“Alright then, let me just get showered and changed.”

“Okay then, I will just fix my hair.”

Back at the mansion, Julian came down the stairs in his robe.

“God, I need one stiff drink after that.” He said to Rebecca.

“Was I that good?” she asked.

“Oh yeah Becks, you were fantastic.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Glad you think so, I know how to please my man.”

“Yeah you do, anyway, I need that drink.”

“Let’s go out for dinner Julian, you can have a drink at the restaurant.”

“Now?”

“Yes, shower and we will go, I am sure you worked up an appetite after all that exercise we just had.”

“Well I guess I could use something to eat, alright I will get ready.”

“Don’t be long Pookie.” She said smiling.

Julian came down the stairs, dressed in a casual pair of khaki pants and a black shirt.

“Aren’t you going to wear a suit and tie?”

“Where do you think we are going?”

“The Lobster Shack silly.”

“Dear, it’s dinner, not a business conference.”

“But you always get dressed up Julian.”

“Well this is suitable, it’s not like I am wearing a pair of jeans with holes and a t-shirt.”

“God I hope not, I would pretend I didn’t know you then.” Rebecca said.

“Anyway, are you ready to go then?” he asked.

“Yes let’s go.”

When they arrived at the restaurant, it was slightly busy.

“Mr. and Mrs. Crane, congratulations, how does it feel to be newlyweds?” the waiter asked.

“Oh just wonderful, I love being a Crane.” She said smiling.

“And you sir?”

“Fine, just fine.”

“What can I get you?”

“A drink, right away!” Julian said.

“Yes sir, you must be thirsty.”

“Yeah, something like that and make it a double.”

Rebecca talked and talked, Julian didn’t listen to a word she said, and he was preoccupied with thoughts of Eve. And to his delight, she entered the restaurant. He looked at how beautiful she was in a pretty blue blouse and a black pair of dress pants, which fit her in all the right places. She didn’t see him though as she was talking to T.C. How he wished he could talk to her, he was reminded of the time that she was there talking to Ivy, he had had a chance to talk to her outside and they ended up kissing. When she sat down, he watched her intently.

“What are you looking at Julian?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes I bet.” She said scanning the room.

He tried to get in some glances to Eve without Becky noticing.

“Oh I see, Eve and T.C. are here, don’t even think of going over there or I will make such a scene that it will make your head spin.” She said warning him.

“I wasn’t going to, relax Rebecca.” He said looking at her.

“I told you, you can’t have her Julian, and she is off limits. You had better not go behind my back and hook up with her. Because if I found out, you will be either in jail because I have told Luis all about you or pushing up daisies because T.C. will have killed you.”

“You don’t trust me, I thought this was a marriage.”

“Oh I do trust you mostly, but not around Eve, you love her so much that you would probably risk it.”

“You are crazy, I am not going to get together with Eve, I married you didn’t I?”

“Not by choice and you know it. But you are stuck with me Julian; I am not letting you out of my sight. I am not losing you to Eve Russell.”

“Relax, you are crazy, Eve is married.”

“Doesn’t matter, so are you, and you would still be unfaithful to me. But I have so much dirt on you, you will be in so much trouble if you even try to go near her.”

“Is that a threat Rebecca?”

“You better believe it Julian, I am the one and only Mrs. Crane and you are going to acknowledge me as your wife or else, is that understood?”

“Yes dear.” He said dryly.

“I am going to the bathroom and don’t even think of leaving this chair.”

“Just go already.”

Julian stared at her as she talked to T.C. He was hoping that she would notice him. Just then T.C. got up when his cell phone rang and went outside to talk. She was sitting on her own now and he just had to get her attention.

“Eve!” he said.

But she didn’t hear him, so he looked around first and then got up.

“Hi Eve.”

“Julian, you have to go.”

“I know T.C. is outside and Rebecca is in the bathroom.”

“Then go, I don’t want T.C. to see you, but I do have to talk to you.”

“Really Eve, when?”

“Here he comes, I’ll call you okay?” she said quickly.

“Yes of course, anytime dear.” He said smiling.

Just as Julian sat down in the chair again, Rebecca returned.

“What did you order?” she asked.

“Fish.”

“Fish, I don’t want that, tell them to change the order.”

“Don’t be difficult Becky, just be happy when it comes.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Shut up, you will eat it, don’t be such a whiner.” He said annoyed.

“Why do you keep standing up to me? You know the consequences.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass, you may be a snob, but you are not going to be rude to me.” Julian said.

“You are so impossible Julian.”

“You married me, this is what you get, and so you better get used to it my dear.

Her cell phone rang then and he was happy, a moment’s peace.

“Hi Gwen, how are you honey?”

“Rebecca, take it outside, people are staring at you, and have some class.” Julian said.

“Fine then, Gwen, my husband said I don’t have any class so I will take this outside.”

She walked away, leaving him on his own again. He watched Eve again as she talked to T.C. He then got up from the table and waved goodbye to her.
He wondered why he was leaving. Eve looked over at Julian and mouthed the words “can we talk?” He nodded and motioned for her to come over.

“Julian, T.C. has to deal with one of his students, so we have to cancel our dinner. I may have some time to talk tonight, how about you? I mean I know you are having dinner with Rebecca.”

“She’s outside talking to Gwen on the phone, but I can get out of this dinner, no problem my love. When do you want to meet and where?” he asked.

“I’d say at the park, but do you know of anything a bit more private?”

“Well how about my limo, I can drop her off and then come get you, but I won’t come right to your house because I know that T.C. may come by.”

“Okay, well as long as we can have privacy.”

“Tinted windows dear.”

“What about your chauffeur?”

“My dear, I pay him enough to keep him quiet, no worries, I will pick you up in about twenty minutes, okay?”

“Yes Julian, see you then.”

Rebecca returned to the table.

“Listen, we have to go.”

“What, why?”

“I have to do some business.”

“What kind of business Julian, with Eve?”

“No of course not, a client, we will postpone this dinner.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine, but when I come home with even more money, you won’t be complaining then. I will drop you off and be back later.”

“Fine then, but don’t be long.”

“I won’t.”

A short time later, he picked Eve up.

“You looked so great tonight Eve.”

“Thanks and so do you, I love your shirt.”

“Easy access honey.”

“Julian.” She said slapping his arm.

“So what do you want to talk about?” he asked.

“About the other night, oh where are we going by the way?”

“Let him keep driving and we can just talk, would you like that Eve?”

“Sure as long as no one will hear or see us.”

“They won’t dear, so talk to me.”

“First of all, I have to say that I missed you.”

“You did?” he said smiling.

“Yes I actually did, I do like our chats and seeing each other Julian.”

“I do too Eve, I love spending time with you and I missed you too.”

“Anyway, T.C. and I are still on the outs, we still aren’t getting along really well, but as I said I am married.”

“Well, I know, but are you just going to go on like that forever?” he asked.

“I don’t want to but right now I am not ready to take the next step and leave him you know? I don’t want to Liz to win Julian.”

“I know that Eve, I understand that. But even if Liz was not threatening you, would you still want to stay as you are?”

“Well if T.C. and I were like we used to be, yeah, but he blames me over and over for Whitney.”

“And he shouldn’t Eve, it’s not your fault. She just got mixed up in the wrong crowd, she didn’t know. I am not crazy about Fox hovering around her, but at least she is back in Harmony.”

“Yes exactly, I only wanted what was best for Whitney.”

“I know you did Eve, I know how much you love her and Simone.”

“Well my point to all of this is, I can’t leave T.C. right now and you can’t leave Rebecca, but I need you in my life Julian.”

“I need you too, so much Eve.”

“We have to see each other.”

“As friends Eve, or…”

“I knew you were going to ask me that.” She said smiling.

“I am just asking.”

“Okay well, how about if I say yes as friends, but it could lead to more? I don’t know Julian because we still have to see each other secretly so I can’t predict what is going to happen, let’s just take it one day at a time right now.”

“Fair enough, I am just happy to be spending time with you. But now that I am married, it may be a little more difficult to get away from Rebecca, but if you can be patient, I will do my best to see you Eve.”

“Yes I will be patient.”

“So do you want me to take you home now or do you want to spend some more time together?”

“Well is there anywhere we could stop for a while, I mean, are you sure your chauffeur isn’t going to tell Rebecca you are with me?”

“No problem darling, I will pay him triple if I have to, money does talk and it can be good in a situation like this.” He said.

“True, yeah let’s go somewhere even if we have to leave the car for a bit.”

“Listen Eve, I would love to take you to a hotel.”

“Julian isn’t that a little extreme?”

“Oh no, I’m not trying to be a pig, I just mean a place where we could be alone and talk, seriously.”

“Julian, who are you kidding?”

“Eve, I swear, I won’t try anything, not unless you want me to. I love you too much to risk anything that way.”

“Alright, it might be a good idea then.”

The driver dropped them off; they went to a hotel that was out of Harmony, away from prying eyes and away especially from their spouses. He opened the door to the room and put the key on the table.

“There’s only one bed.” She said looking at him.

“We are here to talk, does it really matter Eve?”

“No I guess not then.”

“We can sit in the chairs, it’s only for privacy remember?”

“Yes.”

“Eve, I am so glad I got to see you tonight, you just don’t know much Rebecca is driving me nuts, she was even trying to redecorate, like I’d let that happen.” He said laughing.

“Well that’s part of being married, she wants to make the mansion her home.”

“If I had my choice, I’d be ordering a moving truck to get her out.”

“Now Julian, you can’t do anything right now, you have to make the best of it.”

“No Eve, I try, but I can’t believe she is Mrs. Crane, yuck!” he said shaking his head.

“Well she is your wife.”

“Yes, unfortunately, she is not my choice though, the only Mrs. Crane I want by my side is you.”

“Oh Julian.” She said squeezing his hand.

“You know how I feel about you and you want to be friends?” Julian said.

“I know you want more and maybe it will happen, but right now, we can’t change the fact that were married. I mean we could, but we can’t right now and you know that.”

“Do I ever Eve, but being married will never stop my feelings for you, no matter what. You are the woman I love, always and forever. I know it may bother you to hear that, but it’s true. I have never loved anyone like I love you Eve, not Ivy, not Rebecca.”

“It makes me sad to see you like this.”

“Well, I have to deal with it, in fact, Rebecca gave me such a lecture, that she would basically kill me if I saw you and here I am.” He said laughing.

“You don’t care that you are taking a risk?”

“Not when it comes to you, I would risk everything for you, she doesn’t really scare me anyway, she knows our marriage isn’t based on love and never will be.”

“You really do love me don’t you Julian?”

“Forever Eve.” He said taking her hand.

She looked away from him for a minute.

“What’s wrong honey?”

“Nothing Julian.” She said her voice a bit shaky.

“Eve, look at me, you sound upset.”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“Turn to me then.”

She sighed and looked into his eyes, a tear running down her cheek.

“Oh no, what’s wrong Eve, did I say something to upset you?”

“No Julian, not at all.”

“Tell me Eve.”

“I don’t know, just the fact that you love me so much, I guess it hurts that my own husband doesn’t love me the same way you do.”

“I am sure he loves you though.”

“I know he does, but I think you love me even more.”

“My love is deep for you, I know you so well and maybe that’s why. Unfortunately T.C. doesn’t know you like I do. And when I knew you, they weren’t the best of times since I abandoned you, but I never stopped loving you Eve. I know I didn’t show it over the years; many times I was cold or just out for one thing. I pushed that love away and just slept around, but when Whitney and I were in that accident, it just changed me. And my love for you surfaced again, it made me really think. And when we started getting closer again Eve, my love was even stronger for you and now, it’s back in full force. I feel that even though my father tried so hard to keep me away from you, my heart showed me the way back. I can’t believe that I gave everything up, our love, our child, and a chance to be married. I am so stupid, so so stupid Eve.”

“Julian that’s the past and you can’t change it, I know you love me, I can tell how much you love me, but like I said we can’t completely be together right now.”

“But we can be together behind closed doors, I need you Eve, and I think you need me too, in fact, I need you right now.” Julian said.

“Oh Julian, I thought we weren’t going to do that.”

“I will respect you dear, I am just saying I do need you no matter what, even just to talk. But I would be a fool and a liar if I said I that I didn’t want to make love to you right now. You are so beautiful inside and out Eve.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, I am just telling you how I feel about you. But I will be happy just sitting here, talking or cuddling, whatever you want to do. You mean so much to me that I would do anything you want.”

“Thank you Julian.”

“Your welcome, don’t worry, no pressure. Just know that when you need me physically or emotionally, I am here for you no matter what Eve.”

“I can’t believe you are the same Julian Crane I used to know.”

“Well believe it, this is me, I am not going to change back to who I used to be. We have come so far now, there’s no turning back. I lost my chance once with you, I am not going to lose you again.”

“You are so good to me Julian.”

“You have been through so much pain Eve, and I know you forgave me for it, but I still take responsibility for it and I want you to know that you can count on me. I will not leave you or hurt you, I will always be here in your life, as long you want me to.”

“Julian, I want you to stay in my life, you are the only one I can trust completely now. I mean I can talk to Grace, but you know me more than anyone does or probably ever will. I know you would never judge me.”

“I wouldn’t Eve, I love you just the way you are.”

“I love you too Julian.”

“Eve, is it hard for you to say that?” he asked.

“Not really, why?”

“Well I am sure my feelings are stronger for you right now and that’s okay, but if it bothers you to tell me you love me, I will understand. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“But I do love you Julian, you have been the most amazing friend to me. You came back into my life at a perfect time, when I needed a shoulder to lean on, you were there. When I needed to cry or talk, you were there. And more importantly when I almost lost my life on that jet no thanks to T.C. and his temper, you were there to save me.”

“And I would do it all over again if I had to Eve.”

“I know you would, that is why you are amazing. This is just so hard Julian because I am almost torn between being married and loving you.”

“Just take your time with your feelings, I am patient, I am not going anywhere. When you need me anytime, I will be here. I will risk seeing you behind Rebecca’s back. Sure it’s sneaky, but I don’t care Eve, you are worth it.”

“Oh Julian, I just wish we could stay here all night.” Eve said.

“Well, I can make that happen, I would have to say that my meeting with my client when into the wee hours of the morning.”

“But I can’t, T.C. would be furious with me.”

“Well, how about if you had to go to the hospital for something?”

“Oh Julian, I don’t exactly like bringing my work into a lie.”

“I understand, so do you want me to take you home now then?”

“Well, I would like to spend a little more time together, maybe we could do something.” She said looking at him.

“What’s that Eve?”

“Well, in case I don’t get to see you for a bit, maybe we could get a bit physical.” She said playing with his shirt.

“Oh Eve, we don’t have to do this. There will be plenty of opportunities I am sure.”

“I know that, I know I just said I am a bit torn about the situation, but it doesn’t mean I still don’t have needs that way. If I have to be honest, T.C. and I haven’t exactly been, well you know.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry Eve.”

“It’s okay, it’s just the way it goes I guess, but I do miss being somewhat intimate.”

“Well if you are not completely comfortable going to that level, we don’t have to Eve. Don’t think even though I would love to be with you, that I wouldn’t respect the fact that you only want to go so far. We can do things without having to go all the way, you know?”

“Yes I know, well maybe then that’s what we should do, just see what happens.” Eve said.

“I think that’s a good idea Eve, like I told you sweetheart, whatever you want, I want. I love you, no matter what we are doing.”

Julian kissed her quite passionately, running his fingers through her hair. She undid the first one of his buttons on his black oxford, revealing just a bit of his well-built chest. She closed her eyes as Julian kissed her neck so sweetly. He was very happy to be spending time with the woman he loved and although it was going to be a tough road ahead, he was willing to wait, Eve certainly was worth it. She felt the same way and was glad that he was caring enough to let her take her time and explore the possibilities of a future relationship together. No matter what happened, they were both happy to have a chance to spend time together even if it was while they were both married.
 

I will close this fan fic here because I feel that there are so many things that could happen with Evian once Julian and Rebecca tie the knot. I guess we will all have to see what kind of relationship they will have when that event occurs.