Sacrifices of the Soul, Chapter 53
 

Julian and Eve spent the next few days swimming, using jet skis, going on hikes together, and generally exploring the island. They loved to make sandcastles together.

Julian saw Eve come back to life. Her spirit began to creep back in, and he could see her soul again.

For Eve, it was a good time for her. No pressure, but back in the world. Her favorite time of the day would be in the evening, when she would join Julian in the hammock, and they would read newspapers and magazines, and Eve would ask questions about what had been going on in the world during her absence.

What they hadn’t spoken about was anything of substance in the past few days. Eve knew that Julian was taking his cues from her, and the truth was she didn’t think that she could handle it right now, but maybe the time was finally upon them. They were resting in the living room of the main compound, when Eve asked Julian,

" How is TC?"

" That pompous asshole is alive and kicking."

" Julian."

" No, Eve. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear a defense of that man."

" Julian, I hurt him deeply."

" So, you hurt him deeply. What has he shown you in return? Any type of concern?"

" Julian, he didn’t know where I was. It was a secret, remember?"

" Bullshit, Eve. Bullshit. If the man had been REMOTELY concerned about you in all these months, he would have found you. At the very least, there would have been an alert put out on you."

" How do you know he didn’t?"

" Because my men in the Harmony Police Department told me that he didn’t ONCE ask Sam Bennett to help him try and track you down. You disappointed him, and he threw you away like garbage."

" You threw me away." Direct hit.

" That I did. But, I was in my 20’s, and a coward. I didn’t share 20 plus years of marriage with you and have two children with you. If only for my children’s sake, he should have been looking for you. Chad came to ME because he was concerned for his little sister. You’re telling me that TC couldn’t see that pain in his own child, and she LIVES with him?"

" He’s had things on his mind."

" Why do you insist on defending him? Eve, you lied to him. Big deal. You loved him. You gave him your heart and soul. You made a home for him. You had his children and raised them beautifully, and ALL of that didn’t mean anything because of something that happened before you even MET him? Where’s the love in that, Eve? Where’s the love?"

" Maybe in all the lies that I told him. Maybe in me disappointing him. Maybe.."

" Stop it. Stop it! I’m not going to listen to you spew this garbage. Is THAT what I taught you? Is that the lesson that you learned?"

" What lesson?", Eve asks confused.

" That in order to have love, you had to be ‘perfect’. I remember how TC used to drone on and on about having the ‘perfect’ wife. At first, I found it amusing. Then I actually thought about it and what it meant. How confining. Restricting. Constricting. When did you have time to be human?"

" I….was human!"

" Were you Eve? From the moment I saw you at the Bazaar, there was something different about you. Oh, you were a doctor, alright, but, what about your love for life. Your spirit. I didn’t see it anymore."

" I’ve grown up, Julian. It happens."

" Not to this extent. You were so full of life. You loved it. You challenged it. But, now…you were more concerned with playing a role. Maybe it was the role of a lifetime, but, I never thought you would genuinely compromise so much of your spirit."

" I did what I had to do. And, I had a happy life. A perfect life."

" Eve, there is no such thing as a perfect life. That’s him talking, not you. You know better. You wanted to be the ‘perfect’ wife. Well, what about him being the ‘perfect’ husband."

" He was!"

" Ah yes, in between fits of uncontrollable violence, he was perfect."

" TC was never violent with me."

" And, t hat’s ok? You can’t sit here and tell me that you didn’t live in fear. That you and your daughters weren’t afraid."

" You don’t understand TC’s pain."

" The hell I don’t, Eve. The hell I don’t. Yes, he was a talented tennis star, but, he had an accident."

" One that he believes YOU caused."

" Which I didn’t, but, I would never be able to convince him of that."

" You didn’t cause his accident?"

" No. I had no interest in hurting him like that. I wanted to beat him on the court. But, it was years ago. He should have done therapy, instead of having that scary temper and forcing your daughter Whitney into tennis."

" Whitney loves tennis!"

" Does she, Eve? Or is she so scared of disappointing TC that she’ll do anything for him? Including doing something that isn’t in her heart. Believe me, THAT is something I know about – intimately."

" Whitney loves tennis and does it because she wants to."

" Sounds like a prepared answer."

" What the hell gives you any right to judge my life? Yours isn’t that great."

" I never said that it was. "

" Why Julian? Why do you stay married to Ivy?"

" Because she kept up her end of the bargain."

" The bargain?"

" Yes, our bargain. Ivy never promised to love me. She promised to always help me put the Crane bottom line first, which she has. She’s never done anything to jeopardize it, and she’s produced the children. It’s not the best life, or anything worth envying. I know the life that I lead, but, I’ve never perpetrated that I had a wonderful life. It reeks of propriety and misery. We are polite in public, but, nobody could say that we put on a false air of intimacy for the public. You deserved to be human, Eve."

" I am human."

" I don’t think so. You were the ‘perfect’ doctor. The ‘perfect’ wife. The ‘perfect’ mother.  Somewhere in all that ‘perfection’, you lose the ability to just be human. To just be Eve."

Eve looked at Julian and then she began to cry. Julian moved towards her but she put up her hand to stop him. After a few moments she looked up at him, and sadly said, " I don’t know who Eve is anymore."

Julian smiled. " I do. She’s a strong, beautiful resilient woman. Who has everything to live for."

" What is that?"

" A career, and relationships with at least two of your children."

" My career? Julian, in case you’ve forgotten, I had lost all of my privileges at the hospital and the clinic, and that they’re coming after my medical license?"

" They’re not getting your license."

" How do you know that?"

" Because you are back now, and willing to fight. And, because I’ve done what needs to be done to insure that the outcome is favorable."

" Julian….what have you done?"

" I’ve protected you, and that’s all you need to know. "

Eve was going to say something, but decided against it. " You…you really think that I have two children who want me?"

" Simone is so  upset that she has Chad bothering me about you. That he was willing to break down those walls to help his sister. They are forming a bond. They want to have a relationship with you, Eve."

" But, what about my marriage?"

" You’re better off without it."

" It’s not for you to decide."

" Maybe not. But, I have to believe that being with someone who knows you with flaws, is better than someone who won’t accept you if you have any."

Eve and Julian square off. " I’ll be alone."

" Haven’t you been alone all these years? Not being able to share all of yourself. I think that’s lonely."

" I dunno."

" You’re not alone. You have your job, and you have 2 of your children. Eve, I can’t imagine how it  must have been after our son ‘died’. I didn’t allow myself to think about it, because it would have been too hard. But, you’re not that young woman. You’ve had a successful career. A marriage. Raised children. You’re in a different place. You won’t ever be alone again. Some smart man is going to take one look at you and say to himself that your ex was a fool to let you go. Believe me."

Eve looked at Julian, who was now very interested in his drink.

" What about my friends? All the people who are disappointed in me?"

" Like the sanctimonious Grace Bennett. You are better off without her and that damn Tomato Soup Cake. Ugh! People who have sinned in their own lives, will understand. And the rest of them – to hell with them. Eve, the lives you helped over the years aren’t in your imagination. That’s REAL. Nobody can take it away from you, and they shouldn’t even try. Your ‘sins’ happened BEFORE YOU MARRIED! You led an exemplary life during your marriage, which is more than I can say for most of them. You need to focus on the people you can help when you get through all this medical license mess, and your children. The rest will fall into place. Will your life be the same? No. But, I think it will be better. No more lies. No more looking over your shoulder. No reason to live in fear. Nothing. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. This is the worst Eve. Nothing could be worse than me finding you in that tub. NOTHING. You lived to see the better times. Nothing could be as dark as that time. Nothing."

Eve nodded. " You are right. Nothing could. I….I didn’t thank you, Julian. I didn’t thank you for saving me."

" You don’t.."

" Yes, I do. I don’t know how you saved me, and for a long time, I thought you did the wrong thing. But, now, I know you did the right thing. You ARE right. I have a new beginning. Thank you."

" Don’t thank me just yet. I have a wonderful evening planned for the two of us. I thought it was time that we got out of this beach chic, and have an elegant evening together."

" What do you have planned, Julian Crane?"

" Just a little dinner and dancing. I’ll be there to pick you up in an hour."

Eve went back to her room, and found several boxes there. Opening them, she found a beautiful dress, elegant, but, perfect for an island setting, and the right shoes, a wonderful bottle of very expensive perfume, and in a smaller box, some pearl earrings and bracelet. Everything was, of course, the perfect size. She smiled and got ready for the evening.

True to his word, in an hour’s time, Julian knocked on the door. Eve opened the door to him, and she had to admit that her breath was taken away. Several days in the sun had given him a wonderful tan, and his white jacket tuxedo was cut just so. He looked very dashing.

" Hello, Julian."

" Eve, this is for you." He handed Eve a box, and she opened it to find a comb attached to a flower. She had been to the Caribbean enough to know that this was the kind that you put in your hair, so she pulled back one side of her hair and placed the comb to hold it back. She turned to Julian.

" How does it look."

" Like you….devastating."

Eve smiled under the compliment, took Julian’s arm, and they went into the formal dining room of the main house. The table was elegantly set for two. They sat down, and enjoyed a seven course feast, the next course more lavish than the previous one.

They didn’t talk much during dinner, just enjoying each other’s company, and the wonderful music provided for by Peter Duchin and his orchestra.

" How did you get Peter Duchin to come?"

Julian shrugged his shoulders and replied, " I asked."

Towards the end of the meal, Julian turned to Eve and said, " I don’t think I can finish this dinner. I need some exercise. Will you join me on the dance floor?"

" I’d love too."

Julian and Eve went out onto the dance floor, and melted into the other’s arms. Being that close to one another was something that neither one was expecting. It had been years since they had been this close. Since they could literally feel each other’s heartbeats. For both of them it was like a being delivered into a timewarp. But, it wasn’t Peter Duchin, but the songs of Jazz and Blues wafting in their ears in a smoky bar.

Eve closed her eyes, and just let the music guide her. She was stunned at how the music was making her tingle. She hadn’t accepted music into her life for years; always shunning it, and, she realized, always on guard when she and TC had danced. But, now, here, in Julian arms, it felt so natural. She couldn’t believe it.

For Julian, this was the happiest he had been with a woman in years. He had wondered what it would be like to hold Eve in his arms, and now that his fantasy had become a reality, he knew that there were no words. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Time had taken her innocence and molded a gorgeous, sexy woman. Julian shook his head. He couldn’t be thinking things like this. These thoughts were too dangerous. He couldn’t commit to Eve back then. And, he was a married man now. He couldn’t even broach Eve, no matter if she was on the verge of divorce. It wasn’t his place. Their time had passed. He had blown it, and had to accept what crumbs he could. So, he opened his eyes, trying to memorize everything about her, for future reference. The dress he had selected hugged her body just so, swaying back and forth as they danced, almost like a second skin. She looked like an angel in it. His angel.

After dancing for a set, they went back for a course. Repeating the process two more times, until they had finished everything and were sipping coffees.

" This was a marvelous evening, Julian. I feel….alive. Beautiful. Special."

" That’s because you are all that and more, Dr. Russell. So much more."

Eve got up, went over to Julian, and gave him a kiss, but the kiss turned into a longer one than either thought was going to happen. Julian pulled away from Eve.

" You know…you’re pretty tempting…but, I need to be fair to you. So, I will be."

And, he got up, and walked away.