Sacrifices of the
Soul, Chapter 87
by SIPort
Eve knocked on Chad’s
hotel
room.
” Mama?”
” Hi.”
” Come on in.”
Eve came and sat
down on the
couch in the living room of Chad’s
suite.
” Your father certainly did provide fabulous accommodations.”
” Face it. The man doesn’t know how to say anything but first class.”
They both
laughed.
” You…you look so relaxed. Better from the hospital.”
“ That’s because
Pops ordered
up some R&R for me.”
Eve smiled.
” What?”, Chad
asked.
“ You called Julian ‘ Pops’.
Have you called him that directly?”
” Naw. I…I’m not comfortable yet with it.”
” He would be overjoyed to hear
it.”
” I guess. He’s trying.”
” Yes, he is. Julian is different. He’s not perfect. He can be an
insufferable
snob, but he has a heart. He doesn’t know how to be a good father. It’s
up to
you to give him a little guidance.”
” I…I don’t have any experience in being a son. But, with you and
me…it’s
different.”
” How?”
” I just….feel this connection to you. I look at you and I see myself.”
” Is it because I’m Black?”
Chad
thought about it. “ I think so. I don’t see anything of myself in
Julian.”
” That’s funny. Because from the first moment I found out you were my
son, I
felt like slapping myself because it’s so obvious that you have
Julian’s eyes.
“
” I still remember what he did to you.”
” He is a man who admits his mistakes. You have to give him a chance.”
” I am…I am..”
” A real chance, Chad.
A chance to do good. A chance to mess up without being afraid that
you’re going
to jump down his throat and walk away. I think the hardest thing for
children
is the day that they realize their parents aren’t perfect.”
” Believe me, I KNOW Julian isn’t
perfect.”
” Do you? You know he’s made mistakes and you’re holding them against
him.
You’re not giving him a chance to start over with you. It’s not like
Julian
wanted you to have the life that you did. Back then, he might not have
married
me because of Alistair, but there is NO WAY that he would have
tolerated you
winding up thrown away like garbage. THAT wouldn’t have happened. I
know that
like I know my name. I don’t think you do, though. If you trust nothing
else
that I say, trust that I know Julian loves you. I don’t think for one
moment
that Julian would have allowed you to grow up the way that you did IF
he had
known you were alive. He thought you died, as I did, which only
compounded his
guilt, and why he’s totally trying to overcompensate with you now. “
” You know him well.”
” I think so. “
” He hurt you more than should be humanly possible.”
” I wasn’t an innocent in the situation. I was weak too.”
” You were young and naïve.”
” I was an adult. I made my own choices. I was also…” Eve stopped
talking.
” Mama, what? What
is it?”
Eve had tears in her eyes.
She leaned over and touched Chad’s
face.
” There’s so much that I’ve been running from all my life. It caught up
with me
that day in the church, with you and Whitney. And, even though I did a
stint in
the nuthouse, I never really dealt with it. I’ve never dealt with it.
I’ve just
been running. I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s a series of
endless
horrors. “
” I was right.”
” Right? About what?”
” I knew my connection to you was deeper
than just you being Black. I
couldn’t
put a finger on it. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, but I know it.
Our
connection is that we’ve seen a lot of the same things. I understand
about the
running…and, for the record, I don’t know how one ‘deals’ with it,
except for
to move on, especially if you find something better. “ Chad
was quiet. “ You think Simone has
seen some of those ‘things’, don’t you?”
” I can see it in her eyes.”
“ I can too.”, Chad
replied quietly.
“ I never wanted this for my
children. When you’ve lived what I have, the last thing you want is for
your
kids to experience it.”
” I know. But, Simone is young…and, you, Coach…you’ll help her get
therapy. I
mean, it’ll be hard, but the time she was exposed to it was relatively
short.”
” I keep on telling myself that.
I…..I really wish I could talk to TC about
it, but he’s so mad with me. He’s so
angry. And, I’m angry with him. He’s not being the father he ought to
be with
Simone because of this. She NEEDS that father. He’s so filled with
anger, it
makes me sad and mad. Our little girl is suffering. But, who am I to
talk…I
checked out of her life for months.”
” You can’t blame yourself.”
” But, I do. Parents are supposed
to be parents, and I neglected my
daughter.”
” You didn’t neglect anyone. You were being human. You’re not
Superwoman. “
” No...I’m not….So, enough of this talk,
it’ll still be here tomorrow.
Tell
your mother something else. Do you have a love life?”
Chad,
who had been drinking, began to choke. “ Cough..Cough…..um…Love life?”
” Yes. What’s up with you and Theresa?”
” Well, I…ummm…”
” Yes…”, Eve said teasingly.
” I asked her tonight if she cared about me.”
” CARE about
you…come on, Chad.”
“ I..um…you wanna
know how
‘I’ feel.”
” Yep.”
” With Theresa, everything feels so right. She’s one of the things in
my life
that I am certain about. She’s good for me. She gets me. This brand new
world
I’m living in as Chad Crane doesn’t phase her. “
” What about Ethan? Ethan was her life, Chad? She was crazy for
him.
Talking about them and fate. I don’t want you to get hurt if she’s not
gotten
over Ethan.”
” Mama, Ethan married Gwen. He threw her
away. He had his chance.”
” Yes. He had his chance, but that doesn’t mean she’s accepted that. “
” She has.”
” I hope so. I love Theresa, but I love you too. I want what’s best for
you –
and that’s someone who loves YOU and ONLY YOU.”
“ And what about
you, Mama?
Will you have love again?”
Eve shook her head.
“ I can’t
even remotely think about that. Relationship? Love? I’m SO not ready
for that. The
ink on my divorce is barely dry. I spent 20 years with TC. The bruises
are
still there. “
“ Ok…but, as your
son, I
reserve the right to voice my opinion on any guy that comes within 10
feet of
you.”
Eve laughed. “ I have to
admit, I think that’s fine. I would love to have an overprotective son.”
” You’ve got one.”