Summary- everyone has returned from Los Angeles,
and things aren't quite the same.
 
 

Julian had been wandering around the wharf feeling
depressed. Even though he wanted what was best for
Eve, he still wanted her more than ever- seeing her
so attracted to another man- even though he knew he
was her husband and they had daughters together was
like a knife cutting clean through his heart.

He had tried to comfort Gwen after she returned from
Los Angeles since he had a child taken away from
him himself, but it was no use. After seeing Gwen
almost loose Ethan to another woman again- at the
cost of her baby, Rebecca wasn't sure who to trust
anymore and had lashed out at him when he had tried
to help her, not that he blamed her, he had been
thinking about other women right in front of her
because he had been too busy thinking about how to
fix his past.

Julian walked into the newly reopened Blue Note, only
its name had been changed to the Jazz Spot, Liz had
given his club- his memories a ludicrus name, waving
her success with his dream in his face like she got
some kind of morbid enjoyment of it. He had managed
to avoid Liz, downing drinks like there was no
reason to go home- he figured he'd just be doing
the same thing in his library anyways so why
bother going home right away if he had to go home to
the same misery he felt anywhere. All Julian could
think about was he had a chance to win Eve's heart-
but instead he let her go. Julian wanted her now
more than ever- especially right now with the mess
his life was, but all he could do was stare sadly
into his drink while some cheap sounding jazz music-
which was nothing like the Blue Note would have
chosen for their nightly lineup played in the background.

"I don't understand- Julian said. "When I was- the old
Julian, I could get anything I wanted because I
didn't care about the consequences of my actions
but inside I was never happy, I just ignored it by
trying to squeeze the most out of life that I could
like it was some kind of drug, but now- I try to turn
my life around and do the right thing, and I end up
with nothing, my life feels even more empty than it
did before." Julian came to the conclusion that maybe
nice guys really did finish last and that was just the
way it was, so why kid himself that nothing could
change that?" Liz sat down at his table.

"Sounds like you're finally starting to wise up," Liz
said. "Why don't you help me get what I want- and
I'll help you get what you want? And both of our
lives could be perfect- so perfect you'll never have
to be sitting around my club looking like this again." Liz said.

Liz's club. That tear's it, thought Julian. He had to
put Liz in her place after all that's what the old
Julian would have done. The life had been sucked out
of him so why bother trying to do the right thing
anymore? Julian couldn't even keep his head from
hanging long enough to look Liz in the eye- not that
he wanted to anyhow.

"Why don't you go to hell and find someone else
to harrass? I'm sure they like that kind of thing
there." Julian said.

"What's the matter, Julian is that the best comeback
you can come up with to get rid of me?" Liz asked.
"Usually you act like you're trying to give me
some moral lesson- but I'll tell you what. We'll make
a deal- this is my club, and if you don't like the
way I run things around here- or my attitude then
get out of my damn club."

"Fine," Julian said. He was to the point where he
could care less about trying to prove a point to
Liz, who gave a speechless yet satisfied stare as
Julian managed to drag himself out of the Blue Note,
well, Jazz Spot. Another dose of pain throbbed through
his mind- life was even trying to wipe out his
memories of the one time he had truly been happy, by
trying to turn them into something else, and just
waving it in front of his face. He had to numb out
this pain any way he can- by going back to his old
self. He knew he would always regret not standing
up to his father for the rest of his life all those
years ago- he had tried to fix his past and helped
the woman he loved get the happiness he took
away from her when he gave into Alastair's threats
because he had been too much of a coward.

"I haven't changed much, have I?" Julian thought,
looking at his reflection in the rearview mirror.
Here he had been doing the right thing, now he
was thinking about how to slip back into his old
self. Not that it mattered anymore. Julian drove
down the Crane driveway and turned his car off.
Procrastinating going inside, Julian got out and
opened the front door.

Julian walked into his library to find Rebecca
making a phone call, wishing something terrible
would happen to Theresa after she hang up the
phone.

"Let me guess? What I'm doing is wrong!?" Rebecca
exclaimed, expecting Julian to tell her she was
doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.

"What does it matter anymore?" Julian asked. "I was
right before and I was a fool to think I could change
that- doing the right thing doesn't get you
anything." Julian said. "Nothing." Rebecca stared
at him in shock. It was like Julian had became
someone she didn't even know lately- always worrying
about right and wrong, but now here he was acting like
nothing mattered.

"What happened to you?" Rebecca asked in concern.
Julian looked like the life had been literally sucked
out of him, she didn't think she had ever seen anyone
look quite like that.

"Sure, they tell you that you're doing the right thing but you
end up with less than you had before
and you're still supposed to care about right from
wrong- just forget the whole thing." Julian said.