Another fabulous Evian day. I will eat these up because I know they are few and far between.
 
We began the day where we ended it…Julian and Eve were in the vision, and their son had come in. When they looked, they couldn’t define his face – it was a blur. Eve asked Julian why their son’s face was a blur,when the rest of the vision was…
 
“ Wonderful?”, Julian responded. Ben Masters was so ‘on’today. You saw a hopeful, vulnerable, Julian.
 
I thought Tracey Ross was excellent too. She played Eve well. All her insecurities, doubts, and pain were exposed today.
 
Eve was hesitant as she asked Julian if the vision was what he wanted…he told her it was what he wanted with all of his heart. Eve was scared to the point of being terrified about it.
 
They went back into the vision, and we had Eve and Julian,Rebecca and TC, coming back from some awards show. I loved their outfits. They were funky. Julian and Eve once again reinforced their devotion and love for one another. TC and Rebecca were also happy. Once they came out of the vision,Eve was almost offended that TC had found Rebecca. She said that he said SHE was the only woman for him.
 
Julian told her that, once upon a time, HE had been the only man for her. Eve did NOT want to go down that road, so once again, she turned the discussion to their son. It was SO on purpose..LOL
 
So, they went back to discussing their son. Julian said that it was possible they didn’t see their son because he was dead. Eve wouldn’t accept that. She wondered if their son was hurt and needed them, and fretted that they wouldn’t know. Julian tried to get Eve to realize that she didn’t seeit, but she insisted that she did. She tells him that she saw it for the first time at the Crane Mansion. She tells him not to patronize her. She knows that she saw someone take their son right after he was born, and then, she was toldt hat he died.
 
Julian says that even if it was true, it didn’t explain their mutual vision. Eve then thought that maybe she couldn’t see him because knowing who it is would ruin her life. That maybe she shouldn’t look for her son because it would destroy her family. Julian quietly asked ‘ isn’t he your family too?’
 
Eve lashed out at him, telling him never to doubt her love for their child. HE was the one who abandoned her. Julian told her that he was sorry – he didn’t know. Alistair kept it from him. He expressed regret at not knowing, and how much he wanted to have a life with Eve and their son. BenMasters made you believe, from every pore.
 
Julian asked Eve,

‘ Don’t you believe that I loved you?’
 
Eve couldn’t answer that question. So many of the choices she’s made since then were predicated on the answer to that question being‘no.’
 
Julian asked her if she remembered a time when it was only the two of them. How they enjoyed one another, as they laughed and played andhad the best time. What a snapshot of  Eve’s face. She DID remember those times.A genuine smile came across her face. Her guard was down, and her reservations melted. She smiled at Julian and nodded.
 
But then, Eve RUSSELL came back. She had to back away from Julian. She couldn’t allow him to break down those barriers. She told Julian that he ruined it all, with the wild partying. They he took advantage. That shewas such an innocent when he met her. All she wanted to do was sing, but hetook that away from her too. Julian quietly told her that she could have refused, and then she admitted that SHE ENJOYED IT.
 
An admission from Eve that she wasn’t Julian’s victim. She had set it up in her mind that Julian was ‘the devil who led her astray’, when,in fact, she went of her own free will.
 
She finally admitted it.

” I loved that Crane lifestyle…I loved that you loved me…I…”
 
She stopped herself, and Julian asked her to continue. To admit that she loved him too. That the last part of her sentence was that she loved Julian as much as he loved her.
 
She asked Julian how she could love him, considering that he was a disgusting pig, taking advantage and ruining people’s lives. She said that the only thing she felt for Julian was ‘loathing and contempt’, which, is a good sign, as an Evian fan. The opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference. And, truth be told, Eve is NEVER indifferent to Julian. He can push her buttons even now, and it scares her to death.

Keeping up a pretence of anger is easier than admitting you have feelings for a man as complicated as Julian, especially when you tell the whole world that you have a ‘perfect’life. It was too much for Eve. Julian was getting too close, so she had to geton the attack. Rebuild those barriers that she had established all those years.  I thought Tracey was fabulous in that scene, because she showed Eve in all her complexity.
 
Another pet theory got a nudge in the positive direction.Once again, Eve brought up Julian as the one who caused the car crash that ended TC’s tennis career. Julian said nothing, but it was the ‘look away’ in Ben Masters’ eyes that reinforced to me the belief that it was EVE who caused the accident that night, and that Julian covers for her. To this day.
 
Julian’s response to Eve’s diatribe?
 
“ We’re not talking about TC, Theresa or anyone else here. Only you and me, Eve.”
 
Which is NOT where Eve wants it to be. She can’t handle it.
 
Julian presses on, and tells her that they shared the vision, and when Eve tries to dismiss the vision, Julian tells her,
 

“ I don’t agree with you, because the man that you saw….the man that you loved, is the man I might have been. The man I wanted to be. “
 
Julian tells her that he would have been there if he had known about the baby. That he would not have let Alistair browbeat him into marrying Ivy.
 
Eve hears his sincerity, and you can see her barriers coming down, but, she can’t risk it. She’s too scared. She tells Julian that he would have never been anything other than a despicable man….and, like a report card,she brings up once again, her ‘perfect’ life, with her wonderful husband andd aughters. She wears it like a suit of armor.
 
She told Julian,
 

” I’m not going to let you hurt me again.”
 

 
This is the underpinning of it all. Julian has the power to hurt her. More than anyone else, because Julian knows ALL of her so well. She barely lived through it the first time, and put on her deflective gear in order to be able to survive. She can’t let Julian break down those walls now. She’s so scared of him now, she runs out of the Library, breaking down in tears as soon as she closes the door. She’s terrified.
 
Julian is in the Library, listening to Eve singing, looking at a picture of Eve.

 “ TC thinks I stole his dream from him. He wound up the big winner. He won Eve’s heart.”
 
Eve is looking for her family – her shield. She has to retreat into the comfort of them. She is ‘angry’ at Julian for suggesting that they could have had a happy life. She sees Chad and goes over to him. Hecuba has arranged for Chad’s face to be erased, and Eve is back in her ‘vision’. She screams in horror.
 
I thought today was a great Evian day. They got to the roots, and to their obstacles. They were brutal with one another – honest and frank. Julian was so vulnerable, and so was Eve.  These past couple of days have been divine, and I hope Julian begins on the quest for his son soon.