Collision Course, Chapter 40
 
 

Julian Crane reached out his arm and found something there. He realized it was a woman's body. He opened his eyes and realized that he was in his bedroom. It took a few seconds but he remembered that it was Ivy. Julian ran his hands through his hair and thought about last night's events. He remembered the time he and Ivy had in the room at the Club, and that they continued the festivities when they got home. Julian sat up and looked down at Ivy. He didn't know what to think. He knew that he should ' know better' than to trust any affection Ivy gave him, but he couldn't help it. She was awfully attractive, and all this stuff with Eve and Chad had gotten him to think about what he had let slip from him all those years ago. He needed comfort. From someone who knew him, and oddly enough Ivy presented herself.

Julian stared at Ivy. What the hell was she doing in his bed? She had never wanted to be there before. Being with Ivy ALWAYS got him into trouble. He had fallen into a pattern of cheating on her, but the truth was, he wanted a family. They would never be the middle-class definition of a family, but he loved his children and wanted them to not live in a war zone. Though he and Ivy fought consistently, she was his equal. He would never admit that to her, but it was true. This was a deep contrast to the obvious inequality between his mother and father. It had always bothered Julian to no end to see how his mother was bullied by his father. The callousness which he displayed towards her. His mother's spirit was as gentle as Sheridan's, so of course, for someone like Alistair, it was something to mock and destroy.

Things had changed since Penny was hurt. Ivy's entire demeanor seemed to morph into something he could barely recognize. He was so happy when he was with Penny. She touched his heart. She was the only one of his children where he felt allowed to openly love her. Maybe he could have done it with his other daughters and Ethan, but he felt Alistair's disapproving glance on him. By the time Penny was born, he simply hadn't cared. When he had held Penny in his arms for the first time, he cried. He didn't know where the tears came from, but he felt bonded to her in a way that he couldn't explain, but he knew that he would show his love to her always, Alistair be damned.

As emotional as he had been towards Penny, it was like Ivy took almost the opposite stand. The more he loved Penny, it seemed the colder Ivy got to her. He couldn't explain it, and didn't want to try. He had showered Penny with so much love that he'd hoped she wouldn’t realize her mother's distance. When Ivy had transferred her to the school in Switzerland, it had been one of the few times that Julian had truly wanted to kill his wife. Maybe Penny's accident was a way of reuniting him with his daughter. He knew that he didn't want her to ever leave. Penny was his second chance. ALL that he had done wrong with his other children, he could do right with her.

Julian's mind went to his children, particularly Chad. He hoped that no one noticed him staring at Chad for part of the evening. He couldn't help himself. His son was alive. But no one could know. He had promised Eve, and he was going to keep it.

Just then, Ivy began to move. She opened her eyes to Julian staring at her.

" Ok Ivy, would you like to tell me what the hell is going on?"
 

" Hey, Theresa.", Chad said, entering the Lopez-Fitzgerald kitchen.

" Hi Chad. "

" You ready to go?"

" I'm totally psyched about this!" Theresa grabbed her jacket and went outside. She sat on Chad's motorcycle, holding onto him. They had decided to go to this  new 'out of the way' restaurant that she had read about in the Harmony Herald. Once they got there, they took a booth. Chad and Theresa ordered, and Theresa took a sip of her water.

" Ok, so tell me about last night. Did you enjoy it?"

Chad shrugged his shoulders. " I guess it was ok."

" You guess?"

Chad broke out in a smile. " It was terrific. In a lot of ways."

" Dish! Dish!"

" Well, I got to dance with the Doc."

" Chad, it's just me. I know the truth."

" Ok. I got to dance with my mother."

" And?…."

" It was terrific. I felt it, Theresa. About halfway through the second dance we had together, I FELT it."

" What?"

" A connection. I can't explain it. I looked into her eyes. Into her smile, and I saw myself. I saw who I was. I had a connection to my life. I thought about what could have been."

" Oh."

" Yeah. I thought about a lot of the moments in my life - birthdays, Christmases, first days of school. I thought about what those moments would have been like with her. I was re-writing history, and I had all these snapshots of me. It was like looking at a photo album, where I was the star. But, instead of being alone, she was in every single one. "

Chad looked down at the table and was silent. Theresa reached out her hand to grab his.

" It hurts, doesn't it."

" Like hell, Resa. Like fucking hell. I never lived with regret. I never saw the sense of it. Shit happens, and you deal. But, having a mother, and aching for her. Knowing what I missed because I've heard the stories from Whitney and Simone…it's a kick in the gut like nothing I've known."

" Chad, I still think you should live with no regret. You can't change what happened. Neither can your mother. But, you can go forward now. It's SO good that you know her. You know her NOW. You don't have to miss another day NOW. You didn't meet her 5 months or 5 years in the future. You know NOW. Don't waste another moment on it. Don't give regret anymore power, because you won't appreciate what you have. "

" You're my own personal cheerleader, you know that?"

" I'm just trying to be a good friend. You've always been there for me, Chad. You like me, no matter what. I hope you know the feeling is mutual."

" Yeah. I know it."

" Chad, you and your mother will work things out. Last night was a first step, but the journey you'll take is terrific. Soon you'll really know and love her, and then, you'll let her tell the whole world. You DO know that you have to tell the world, don't you?"

" Theresa…"

" Not now. But, it will happen. Everyone involved deserves the truth. It will explain so much to everyone, plus you're not a dirty little secret. You're Chad Harris - the best son anyone could ask for."

" Now it's my turn to blush."

" Chad, the best thing about right now is that it's all up to YOU. Nobody can force the situation. So, enjoy it. Enjoy getting to know your mother. I bet you'll realize things that Whitney and Simone take for granted. "

" I SO need to be able to talk to someone like this."

" If I can be of service.", Theresa said smiling as their food arrived.
 

TC was at his desk at school when there was a knock on the door.

" Come in."

TC looked up. " Principal Morton. Rebecca Hotchkiss?"

" Yes, Coach Russell, the Harmony High Atheletic Department has been chosen for a grant from the Johnathan Hotckiss Foundation. I told Mrs. Hotchkiss that you would be delighted to give her a tour."

" Sure."

" Good. I have a meeting to attend. I'm leaving you in good hands. Goodbye."

The principal left, leaving TC and Rebecca.

" Since when do you give a crap about Harmony High?"

" Johnathan gave a donation to this school annually. I know YOU know that."

" Maybe HE did. I said you."

" Look, are you going to hassle me, or are you going to take my money?"

" Why are you doing this, Mrs. Hotchkiss?"

" Maybe I love the kids."

TC snorted. " Puleeze."

" Why is it so hard for you to believe that I could care about the kids?"

" Because, it's you."

" That's pretty cold. I give to charity."

" You never do anything that doesn't benefit you. So, what's in it for you?"

" When did you become so cynical, Thornton?"

" About the day that I met you, Rebecca."