Here - Chapter 23

Besieged by worries about Pfizer's possible motives, Sonny's eyes light up when Carly walks through the front door of the penthouse.

She is tentative. Her mind is filled with doubts and questions as well, but her concerns are about Sonny. About herself and Sonny.

He sees that she is not at all like she was when she left the apartment earlier: relaxed, happy. He closes the door behind her and scratches his ear, looking at her curiously, "You okay?"

She nods, rubbing her hands together, a sure sign of anxiety. She stays just inside the door. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"You hungry?" He walks past her to the living room, where he takes a seat on the sofa.

"No."

"Thirsty?"

"No."

"Tired?"

She shakes her head.

He shrugs, tiring of trying to squeeze information out of her, "Okay. I give up."

She begins biting her thumbnail, not knowing how to broach the subject she really would like to discuss. She has never done this sort of emotional self-examination. Not even with Jason. Of course, with Jason, there had been no need. He'd just been there, accepted just about everything she did with either a stern glare or bemused grin. She'd felt perfectly free to keep doing what she was doing, unchallenged to question her actions enough to change them.

Without Jason as her safety net, she does not feel that way anymore.

She eyes the empty space on the sofa next to Sonny and she is afraid to sit next to him. Why? She'd just been kissing the man a few hours ago and now she is too scared to get within three feet of him.

After an uncomfortable silence, Carly finally says, "I've got my driver's test in a couple of days..."

He turns to look at her, "So you're nervous about that?"

She nods, then, feeling herself relax now that she is on safer ground, she takes a step closer to the sofa. "I have to take the test in Luke's car..." she laughs nervously, "I'm not looking forward to that..."

He frowns, then offers, "You want to borrow mine?"

Her eyes widen in disbelief, "You'd lend me your car??"

He shrugs, "Sure. For your test, right?"

She nods, her mouth agape at the thought of taking her driver's test in Sonny's Jaguar. She smiles excitedly, biting her bottom lip, "Um...do you think I can take it for a test drive? I mean, I need to get used to it, right?"

He raises his brows, "What? Now?"

She nods, "Why not??"

He tilts his head, "Yeah. Why not?" Then he gets up, "Let's go."

Carly squeals, so excited she feels like she just may burst.

He picks up his telephone, dials, then murmurs something into the receiver before quickly hanging up and heading for the door.

She follows a step behind him as they make their way to the elevator, keeping her mouth shut over a canary-eating smile. She does not want to say anything that may make him change his mind.

They ride down to the garage in silence, Carly nearly jumping out of her skin. Just imagining that vehicle under her control is almost too much. Her happiness is dimmed slightly when she also imagines wrapping that beautiful machine around a telephone pole.

Sonny jingles his keys in his pocket and whistles softly to himself as they click against the cement garage floor in the direction of the covered Jaguar.

Carly is confused. The last time they took the car out, the cover had been removed before they'd gotten to the garage.

He walks past the Jaguar, still whistling and jingling.

"Sonny..." Carly says, pointing at the car as she follows him.

"Yeah?" he says over his shoulder, pulling out his keys.

They are still walking. She looks backward, then gestures behind her, "Your car's back there...right?" As she walks, she bends over to see if she can peek under the cover, but she can not see anything. Maybe that's the wrong car...

When she straightens and looks ahead of her again, Sonny is opening a car door.

Her brows jump to her forehead. It's the lovely Buick Regal they'd used on their 'date.' She says, "Oh."

He looks at her face and smiles widely, "Something wrong, Carly?"

She shakes her head, "Um...no..."

He opens the door for her, "This is the car you expected, right?"

She slides into the vinyl-covered driver's side of the bench seat and gives him a snide smirk. "Of course."

He laughs at her, drops his keys in her waiting palm, closes the door, then walks around to the passenger side door.

She puts the key into the ignition.

He raps on the window with a knuckle. The door is locked.

She leans toward the door and looks through the glass at him and grins. Then she sits back up and starts the engine.

"Carly," he says, rolling his eyes.

She yanks on the gear shift lever behind the scratched-up steering wheel and pulls it down to the 'D' to put the car into drive.

Sonny grows more insistent, but his voice remains level, "Carly."

She sucks in her cheeks and her lips form a satisfied close-mouthed smile. She looks around a bit, then releases the parking brake.

"Carly!" he is knocking harder on the window, no longer laughing.

Should have opened your door first, Mr. smartassMobsterman!

She takes her time and familiarizes herself with the instruments. She locates the lights, the turning signals, the windshield wipers, the radio.

He is bending down now, watching her through the window, certain that she will open the door for him soon. "Carly..."

She turns her head to look at him, smiles prettily, then tosses him a wave. She mouths "See ya!", hits the gas, and tears out of the parking space, tires screeching.

Sonny can not believe it. He calls after her, "Carly!"

The bodyguard assigned to tail them does not know what to do. He is already in his car. Should he stay with Sonny? Or follow the 'stolen' vehicle. He looks to Sonny for the answer.

Sonny, hands on hips, head lowered, looks up and meets the man's eyes. Sonny shakes his head, lets out a deep sigh, then jogs to the tail car. The driver unlocks the door for him and he climbs into the passenger seat. Then he waves his hand forward agitatedly, telling the man to follow her.

****

Carly has no idea where she is going, so she just follows the 'Exit' signs. Despite the speed with which she'd left Sonny, she is moving much more slowly now, trying to avoid hitting anything with the rickety boat she is driving.

It takes only a few minutes before she sees the lights sneak up behind her.

****

"Cut her off," Sonny orders shortly.

The driver looks at Sonny askance at first, noting the small area in which he has to maneuver, but he expertly pulls alongside the Buick, passes it, then stops in front of it, blocking Carly in.

****

"Oh well..." Carly sighs, somewhat relieved that she would not be taking the car into the street by herself. That would be illegal... she reasons, not acknowledging that she is actually still too frightened to drive by herself.

****

Sonny gets out of the bodyguard's car and slowly walks to the Regal. He stands at the driver's side door, puts one hand in his pocket and gestures to Carly with the other to roll down the window.

She presses the button and the window squeaks lower with a jumpy motion. When the window is open, she waits for him to say something.

He sniffs, looks away, then scratches his nose, "You think that was funny, Carly?"

She smiles and bats her lashes.

He leans down, leaning on the open window, until he is face to face with her. His eyes are dark and serious, "It wasn't."

She starts to put the window up again, but the little motor just whines fruitlessly as he manages to hold the window down with his hands. She mutters, "Piece of junk!!"

He clenches his jaw, "Open the door," and walks to the other side.

She can tell by his tone that Sonny is truly not amused. She screws up her face and unlocks the door for him.

He climbs in, "Let's go."

She is surprised, "You're still going to let me drive?"

"Got nothing else to do." He pats the dashboard, "Let's go."

She smiles to herself again and waits until the bodyguard pulls out of the way and lets them pass.

Sonny is quiet as they leave the garage. She ventures without looking at him, "You want to go anyplace in particular?"

"No," is the short, terse answer.

Carly plays with the radio, discovering that it only has AM. She finds an Oldies station and sings along when she recognizes a tune. He laughs at her, "Don't give up your job at Luke's. Please."

She punches his shoulder with a fist. "Just because you're too old to recognize good music, don't take it out on me!"

He widens his eyes, "Too old??"

"Yeah. Wasn't opera modern music when you were young?" she asks blandly.

He smiles but does not answer.

She takes a deep breath, then suddenly realizes that she has been following her bus route. This makes her laugh out loud.

"What?" Sonny asks.

She shakes her head, "It's just that I'm...I'm driving exactly the way the bus goes..."

"Oh," he says, not finding the fact nearly as funny as Carly does.

Suddenly, Carly makes a sharp left, nearly causing the car to go up on two wheels.

Sonny grabs hold of the dashboard as he is thrown against the door, "Whoa! Watch yourself..."

She muses pleasantly, looking at the houses around her, "When I ride the bus? I always wonder what's up this hill." She turns to Sonny and explains, "The bus always makes that right."

He says, perplexed, "Okay."

She can not possibly describe the feeling of freedom inside of her as she drives up the slow grade, glancing at the small, neatly-kept houses on either side of the street. Surprisingly, there is a lot of traffic coming down the hill.

When she reaches the crest, she sees a large open gate from which vehicles are streaming. She drives through the gate and finds herself in a large, open parking lot. She drives against the flow of the traffic, toward the other side of the lot. When she gets to the end, she stops the car and looks out of the window.

In front of them is a small, quickly-emptying outdoor stage. "Wow." She says. Then she turns to Sonny, "Is this that Port Charles Open Air place??"

Sonny nods, his arms folded over his chest, looking at her questioningly, "You've never been here?"

She frowns and shakes her head.

Sonny takes a deep breath and touches his ear with a finger, "I'm surprised. Don't they do a lot of Charity Guild programs here?"

"Yeah," Carly says, watching the people file out of the arena, "but I never went to any of that stuff. That was just a show for AJ and the Quartermaines."

Curious, she puts the car into park and gets out of the car. Sonny follows her, making sure their tail is still with them. He waves to the man to stay put.

They walk down some steps toward the seating area, no one stopping them.

By the time they reach the third row of cement bleachers from the stage, almost everyone is gone. The stage is being cleared, instruments and speakers being packed. The stage crew leaves, but a few people still remain in the stadium seats.

"Must have been a concert," Carly guesses.

Sonny nods, folding his arms across his chest again.

Carly looks around her, then takes a seat.

The night sky is clear and black, lit by a half-moon and a speckling of bright stars. The air is warm. The light breeze smells like early summer.

He sits down next to her and allows himself to enjoy the thick, soothing quiet of the crickets.

After a while, he clasps his hands together and leans his elbows on his knees, looking up at the now-empty stage. He says quietly, "So what's wrong?"

She smiles at the fact that he can tell. She responds, "Who says anything's wrong?"

He straightens in his seat and stretches his arms out along the row of seats behind them so that one of his arms is touches her back.

They are comfortably quiet for a few moments, neither feeling the need to make conversation.

This comfort bolsters Carly's confidence, and she hears herself say in a steady voice, "Why did you treat me so bad when you met me?"

He looks at her, completely taken aback by the sudden subject, then looks away. He answers, "I didn't know you then."

She does not let him get away with that response. "You don't know the cashiers at the grocery store either. Do you call them names?"

He blinks slowly, thinking. He has asked himself why many times, but he has never bothered to verbalize the answer.

He sighs finally, "No. I don't call them names."

She watches him, "So why me?"

Sonny takes a moment to try to gather his thoughts, his emotions, his heartbeat. He takes a deep breath, then says, "All I knew about you then was what you did to Jason."

She widens her eyes, "What I did to Jason??"

He looks at her and nods, "I knew that you got him caught up in something - a big lie - and that he was in way over his head..."

She crosses her arms over her chest and looks away, on the verge of tears and defensive now, "Jason was a big boy. He made his own choices."

Sonny tilts his head from side-to-side, "Yeah, that's true. But he did not have the capacity to understand - or even imagine - what was going to happen. That he was going to fall in love with your son. That he would be living a lie for over a year. That he would lose Robin..."

Carly's eyes roll in disgust.

"...that the kid might be ripped away from him eventually. He couldn't understand that."

Carly's voice is still steady, despite the pain she feels at Sonny's words, "So it's all my fault then. You blame me."

He nods and says honestly, "Yeah. I did." He pauses, then continues, "I thought you took advantage of him."

She throws her head back in anger and disbelief, "Oh yeah, poor innocent Jason! Mean old Carly just chewed him up and spit him out, right?"

Sonny goes on as if she has not spoken, "The thing I didn't get was that you had no way of knowing you were taking advantage..."

Her eyes snap to him.

He looks down at his hands, "At first, yeah, I definitely believed that you knew exactly what you were doing. But it wasn't until later that I realized you always treated Jason like he was 'normal.' You always expected 'normal' reactions from him. That's how you dealt with Jason, like he was the same as anybody else. You expected him to get things that maybe he didn't get."

He turns to her to see if she is understanding what he means.

She wonders quietly, "So, you just thought I was some slut determined to ruin Jason's life...?"

He nods again, "Yeah."

She looks up at the sky and questions, "So...when did that change?" If it changed.

He breathes deeply, leaning back and looking up at the same sky she is pretending to look at. He runs a hand over his face and admits haltingly, "That day...that day...that bad day I had. When you were there for me."

She corrects him, "I was there for Jason."

He agrees, "Right. But, still, you were there. I thought that maybe I didn't understand anything about you and Jason after all...maybe you weren't as bad as I thought..."

She wipes a tear away as she remembers that painful time and she reminds him, "But you didn't stop, Sonny. You kept treating me like dirt..."

He shakes his head, "I know..." He tries to explain what he was feeling, "But you'd seen me, Carly." He looks off to the side, his voice now just above a whisper, "I don't like people to see me."

He sniffs and pauses for a beat. Then he says, still in his thoughtful voice, "And then the whole thing with Hannah happened...I just, I needed somebody to take it out on."

She scoffs and says sarcastically, "Oooo! Lucky me!"

He utters evenly, "I just knew you could take it."

Her eyes immediately become angry and she turns to him accusingly, "How the he!! could you know that, Sonny?? How??? You didn't know me! Not really! You know you didn't give a crap about whether I could 'take it' or not!"

He looks at her, past her tears, past her fury, and says plainly, quietly, "I just knew."

She turns away from him, sets her eyes straight ahead, toward the stage, her face a mask.

He still stares at her profile, "I knew because you came right back at me with both barrels blazing. I could see it in your eyes."

He laces his fingers together in front of him, thinking of the picture that he used to have in his head of Carly then - one of her controlling Jason like a marionette - and the picture that he has of her now - in the park with her son, in bed with him, making him laugh.

He lets out a long breath, So different.

He regrets every bad thing he said to her.

She is waiting, weighing his words. She begins to wonder how much of a role she had played in his treatment of her. Why had she kept coming back? Had she been drawn to him? Even way back then?

He says gently into the air, his heart out in the open, "I am truly sorry for hurting you."

Her chest tightens and heart does a little flip at his words. Her eyes flutter closed slowly, a tear trapped between her lashes just as her lids seal.

He watches her, sees her posture suddenly slump, as if relieved of a burden. He leans toward her, "I know...that maybe...maybe I should have said that sooner..."

She agrees, so she says nothing.

He hesitates for an instant, then he leans his head forward until his forehead is resting against the side of hers. After a few seconds, he whispers, "I push people away, Carly. That's what I do."

She turns her head gently against his, a silent 'I understand.' She knows that she does the same thing.

He pulls away from her, puts a hand on her chin and turns her to face him. He looks into her eyes, "I'm not real good at this, but...I'm trying not to do that anymore."

She swallows hard, holding his gaze, confessing. "Me too."