Here - Chapters 5
Wednesday, 19-Jan-00 18:21:49

152.163.206.193 writes:
Here - Chapter 5

"Carly? Is that you?" Bobbie calls from the front doorway of the brownstone.

Carly sniffs hard, and runs a hand through her hair. But that does not stifle the uncontrollable shaking of her body as the sobs shock through her. She has been sitting on the front steps crying since her confrontation with Sonny on the docks.

Bobbie gathers her robe more tightly around her and joins her daughter on the steps, standing above her. She asks in a concerned, anxious voice, "Carly, what happened? What's wrong??"


She sits slowly next to her daughter, hesitantly wrapping an arm around Carly's trembling shoulders. "Did somebody do something to you?"

Biting her bottom lip hard to keep herself steady, Carly replies in a squeaky whisper, "Jason's gone..."

Bobbie's brow wrinkles in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Carly takes a deep breath, "he's left town." She turns her tear-stained face to look into Bobbie's eyes. She utters in disbelief, "He's left me, Mama..."

For nearly as long as Carly has been in Port Charles, Jason has been with her. In some way or another. She has always known that she could rely on him when she needed him. That he would always be there.

But now that one central truth in her life is gone. In one rash, angry act, Carly has erased all truth from her existence.

Bobbie does not know what to say to her daughter's wall of sadness. She can only pull Carly closer to her.

Suddenly, she feels Carly shaking against her, not from crying, but from pitiful laughter. Bobbie pulls away so that she can look at her, "What?"

Carly roughly wipes the back of her hand over her eyes and nose, and between laughs, says, "We are such losers. The man you love is in prison...the one you used to love just got out of prison...and the man I love is finished with me. He may as well be in prison. Or I may as well be in prison. Again."

"Carly," Bobbie scolds, "that is not funny."

"No," Carly shakes her head, no longer smiling, "no, it's not, is it? It's actually pretty pathetic."

Bobbie takes a deep breath, wishing desperately that Carly had not brought up Jerry. She has just been able to clear her mind, to fall asleep and have pleasant dreams. And now it all rushes painfully back to her.

Sonny's accusing words echo and bounce around inside of Carly's head. She tries to discount what he said about her never really wanting Jason, but she can not. The words hurt her too much, cut her too deeply. She needs someone to invalidate them.

She turns to Bobbie and ventures shakily, "Somebody told me that I never really loved Jason. That I never truly wanted a life with him....That," she feels a lump forming in her throat, so she coughs lightly, "that Jason was always this 'goal,' not something real..."

Bobbie blinks, wondering who would say something so harsh to Carly, especially given the state she is in. "Who said that? Luke??"

Carly, despite herself, emits a shadow of a laugh through her confusion, "No, it wasn't Luke." She lets out a sigh, "Does it really matter who said it?"

"No. I guess it doesn't." Bobbie stares hard at Carly, trying to gauge her daughter's fragility. Behind the sad, teary-eyed face, Bobbie believes she sees a glimpse of defiance, maybe anger. Carly is looking at her expectantly. Bobbie knows that Carly needs her to respond, but Bobbie can not bring herself to lie. Was the statement true? Bobbie has always had that same feeling about Carly's feelings for Jason. Bobbie is absolutely certain that Carly believes she loves Jason. But to Bobbie, Carly's view of Jason always seemed bigger than life. More like a fantasy than a real man.

Finally, Bobbie inhales deeply, strokes Carly's hair gently, then breathes, "I really don't know what you want me to say, Carly..."

Tell me it's not true!!! After pleading with Bobbie with her eyes for a heartbeat, Carly buries her face in her hands.

************

"Where's Angerboy?" Taggert asks immediately after Sonny opens the penthouse door.

Sonny shrugs and walks away from the door, "I don't keep tabs on Jason."

Taggert follows him inside, closing the door behind him. Then he says to Sonny's back, "Well, maybe you should."

Turning to look at the detective, Sonny smiles calmly, "You got a reason you wanted to see me, Taggert?"

Taggert takes a step closer to Sonny, "There's been a bloodbath inside Moreno's organization, Corinthos. And I know you're behind it."

"You know that? Then why aren't you pulling out your handcuffs? Where's your warrant?"

Taggert just looks at him.

Sonny rolls his eyes in exasperation and starts to pour himself a drink, "What do you want from me, Taggert??"

"I'm just here to put you - and your boy Morgan - on official notice. The PCPD is not going to tolerate a gang war, Corinthos."

Sonny shrugs and looks over his shoulder at Taggert as though the detective is crazy, "Fine. Consider me on notice. And tolerate whatever you want, Taggert. This has nothing to do with me."

The detective is unfazed by Sonny's denial. In fact, it causes a scoff to escape his throat, "This has everything to do with you, Corinthos. But what do you care, right? It's just a little more blood on your hands."

Taggert walks to the door of the penthouse then, not surprised at having gleaned no new information from Sonny. But Taggert does believe he's learned something new. To Taggert, Sonny appears closer to the edge than ever. Before leaving the apartment, Taggert deciders to nudge the man a little closer, hoping he'll finally teetyer over. The detective turns to say one last thing to his nemesis, "In case you've been wondering, Ms. Scott is doing just fine."

Sonny nearly chokes on his drink. He manages, "I wasn't wondering."

Taggert smirks a little, then hisses in a taunting voice, "You were played. The great Sonny Corinthos was played by a woman..." He clucks the roof of his mouth with his tongue, "What has the world come to?"

Sonny can hear Taggert's laughter in the hallway, even after the door is closed. He shuts his eyes against it, once again beating himself up for being stupid and careless enough to allow a federal agent get so close to him.

When he opens his eyes again, all he can see is Carly hurling words at him, coming after him, tormenting him on the docks.

Unconsciously, he lifts a hand to his cheek where her tongue had burned his flesh that evening. He closes his eyes and his mind zigzags back to their one tumultuous union.

Jason is gone. One less person for him to hurt.

But Sonny knows that even though he is alone, it is still crowded in his head. The people who have left will never leave him. Not until he lets them go.

The burden feels natural and heavy on Sonny's shoulders. He has been carrying it for as long as he can remember. The first few pounds landed on his shoulders in the closet as a boy. He'd fought it at first. His skinny arms flailing; his small fists punching; his scrawny legs kicking. But the burden had won in the end, settling on the boy's thin shoulders like a cloak made especially for him. After a while, Sonny barely noticed it. His body grew, it became easier to carry. Until the next few pounds decided to make a home on his shoulders.

When his mind suddenly snaps back to the present, he realizes what he is doing. Sonny abruptly and angrily shoves his hand in his pocket, puts down his drink, and decides to go to bed.

But he knows he will get no sleep.

With Jason's departure, the burden has just gotten heavier.

************

Two weeks later

Luke comes out of the back office holding a newspaper in his hand. He spies Carly leaning against the bar, her now-customary forlorn face on. "Please go home. You're depressing the customers." Luke groans, his teeth clutching an unlit cigar.

Carly looks at him listlessly, tossing the towel over her shoulder. She puffs out her cheeks, then blows out the air, looking around the nearly empty club, "What customers?"

Luke shrugs, then growls, "Fine. You're depressing me, all right?? Go home."

"Will I still get paid?" She asks suspiciously, seeing that she still has two hours left on her shift. She needs the money. She can not believe she's gone from being a Quartermaine, with all of the money she could have never spent, to this.

He rolls his eyes, "Will you leave if I say yes?"

She nods, already removing the apron from her waist. She stands on her tiptoes and stuffs it onto the shelf beneath the bar.

He waves his hand at her, "Yes. I will pay you not to work. Get out."

Not wanting to give him a chance to change his mind, Carly grabs her purse and quickly starts for the door.

Luke watches her head for the exit. He knows he should not say anything, but that has never stopped him before. "Caroline!" He shouts.

She moans and turns to look at him, "What...??"

He chews on the cigar, then looks at his niece earnestly, "Him leaving is probably the best thing that could happen to you."

Carly's face darkens.

He can tell she is about to yell at him, so he puts a hand up, "I'm just saying that I know how you two worked. I watched you. You made a mess, then he cleaned it up."

She avoids his eyes. The loss of Jason in her life is a constant, but it hits her hard and fast with Luke's words.

He finishes, now looking down at the newspaper in his hand, "Maybe now that you have to do the cleaning up, you won't be so messy..."