Life As It Should Be: Chapter 11
Saturday, 06-Jan-01 14:29:59

4.54.20.245 writes:
Chapter 11

Jonas helped pull Caroline back on to the boat when Sonny brought her back to the surface. He placed her on the floor of the boat and moved the hair from her face and neck so that he could check her pulse.

Sonny pulled himself onto the boat quickly...coming to the other side of Caroline. She was pale and he waited impatiently for Jonas to check her pulse. " Come on Caroline…come on Caroline." He begged in a slight panic. As if she heard him she coughed and Jonas quickly turned her on her side so that she didn’t choke. Sonny breathed a sigh of relief. He and Jonas pulled her into a sitting position. And After making sure she was okay…Jonas got up and went to get some dry towels to wrap her wet body in.

Sonny sat down beside her and pulled the hair out of her face. " What were you thinking!" he demanded quickly when the shock and worry finally ebbed away.

Caroline took a deep breath. Her mind was hazy. But not hazy enough to miss the fact that she was back on her boat, alive and well. She didn’t know whether to laugh happily for being alive or cry because she WAS still alive when her beloved Ian remained dead.
At the thought of the latter she felt a small surge of anger that Sonny had brought her back to this sad existence. Anger that she herself knew was irrational.

" Why did you jump in after me?" she demanded. Sonny was thrown back by that question.

" To save you of COURSE! You could have died from a stunt like that!" he exclaimed.

Caroline laughed at that. It was a dry laugh, one devoid of any happiness. She turned to him. " Wasn’t that the point?" she raised a curious brow, goading him. Sonny looked at her in shocked disbelief.

" You want to die? You want to kill yourself?!" Sonny asked watching her carefully. He was not a stranger to that urge to want to escape it all, get rid of the misery. But he had never thought about really killing himself. Mainly because lessons learned from his catholic upbringing still remained with him. Suicide was unforgivable.

She watched him for second. Then sighed as she stood up. She was drunk and exhausted. She just wanted to be alone.

Sonny watched her stand up and he did the same. She watched him follow her lead, his eyes intense on her as he waited for an answer. His worry was almost palpable. " You are worried." She pointed out the obvious in an almost detached voice. He didn’t give her an answer instead he continued to watch her, determined to get an answer to his earlier question. Did she want to kill herself?

She noticed that he was determined to get an answer from her. She smiled sadly and patted his arm. " You can stop worrying. I have kind of passed that phase. But even if I wasn’t, I know I would have had a better chance going at it on the boat than in that water." She walked away from him after those confusing words. She went down to her small cabin where she could be alone with her memories.

Sonny watched her go, silently running her words in his head.

Jonas appeared with two large towels and two robes. He handed one robe and towel to Sonny and turned to follow Caroline to her cabin. Sonny took them with a grateful nod and proceeded to shed his wet clothes. Quickly toweling himself dry and adorning the thick robe.

After doing so he went back to his previous seat and waited for the other man to return back to the deck. He had some things he needed to talk to the man about. Sonny thought grimly. Why the hell had the guard not even made an attempt to jump in and save her? He should have reached her first! That was what guards did it was his freaking job! Sonny thought angrily. He watched Jonas rush up to talk to the captain about taking them back to PC then returned to the deck. When Jonas came back Sonny waited until he sat across from him before asking the question that had been bugging him since Caroline left to go to her cabin.

" She says she would have had a better chance killing herself on the boat than in the water. Is that true?" he asked without preamble. First things first. Jonas shrugged.

" Probably."

Sonny frowned at that. " How could she be safer in that water than on this boat?"
Jonas shook his head. " I didn’t say safer…but she was pretty safe." He spoke cryptically.

" What the hell are you talking about man?" Sonny demanded, not about to put up with this bulls--- answer. The woman had freaking dived into the ocean and he was supposed to believe she had been safe?

Jonas sighed. " Why don’t you look around you Corinthos." He used both his hands to point to the opposite sides of the boat. Sonny frowned at him before following his hands.
He glared at the distance. What the hell was he supposed to be looking at any way. He was about to turn back to the other man to ask him just that when he saw movement. He squinted and then realized what he was looking at. He quickly turned to the other side of the boat and saw the same thing. There were two boats silently following close to their sides. They didn’t have their lights blazing, in fact whatever they were using were almost unnoticeable from their boat.

" Those boats have been following close by?" he asked Jonas with a slight frown.
Jonas nodded.

" What exactly is their purpose?" Sonny asked with narrowed eyes. It was not normal to have boats following a sailboat just for the sake of it. There was obviously something more to it.

" They have professional divers, and some medical equipment." Jonas answered as if it was nothing unusual.

" Are you kidding me?" Sonny looked at the other man in disbelief. Though he could tell that he was pretty serious. Jonas shrugged.

" So these divers are here in case she pulled a stunt like that? She has done things like this before?" Sonny asked making sure he was getting this right.

Jonas shrugged " Not really. The stuff she did before was much more serious. But yeah they are here in case of what happened. They are fast and efficient"

" So that’s why you didn’t jump in after her." Sonny commented. Finally making some sense of the guard’s actions earlier. At least he wasn’t simply incompetent.

" Yeah, besides you were already in the water before I could do that." Jonas gave him a small smile.

Sonny nodded slowly before getting back to something the other man had said. " What do you mean more serious stuff?"

Jonas rubbed his face, he looked at Sonny for a moment weighing him. Trying to figure out if the man was trustworthy. What he saw reassured him and he sighed.

" Well, the year right after his death, she took a trip to the cliffs next to the waters he died in got really wasted before taking a nice dive into the rock filled water below. Resulting in a broken arm. Two weeks later she was on her grandmother’s Yatch when she decided to try that stupid titanic scene. You know the one at the one ...no hands and crap? Well she actually took the dive off. Luckily Ari had just gone on the deck and he dove in after her. She was in a coma for a day. That is the major stuff. Her other stunts include driving her Ferrari as fast as she could against traffic on a one way street, disappearing for about 3 months glob trotting only God knows what the hell she did during that time. Though she seemed much better after that last trip. I was pretty sure she was okay."


Sonny listened in trying to digest this disturbing information. " So she is constantly trying to kill herself?" he asked in a low concerned voice. Of all the things he would have thought of Caroline, suicidal had never been one of them. The very thought sent chills of worry down his spine.

Jonas thought about for a second. " In the first year yes. Not that I would really blame her. She had lost the love of her life on his birthday, then lost their baby two weeks later. Having to go through the anniversary of their marriage alone, while dealing with the many well wishers, and Ian’s blue blood family. The latter mostly concerned with what had been left to whom. If they could have had their way they would have thrown the grieving widow out of her husband’s home. Yeah she wanted to die that year." Jonas thought sadly.

" So you don’t think she wants that anymore?" Sonny asked quietly. Hoping that it was true although he was pretty convinced otherwise. What had happened tonight was proof of that wasn't it? People didn’t jump of boats if they wanted to live. Jonas did not agree with him.

" No. She doesn’t really want to die, and she knows that even if she does her family won’t let her. She was probably just testing them subconsciously, to see how far they really would go to keep her with them. She knew those divers were down there. Besides people who really want to die always find the quickest and most effective way. Jumping into water knowing there are a bunch of expert swimmers around is not one of them."

Sonny nodded absorbing this. They sat there quietly before Sonny looked towards the cabin. " How is she?"

"Asleep."

" Is she going to be okay?" Sonny specified.

" She will be after the next couple of weeks." Jonas answered laconically.

" How can you be sure?" Sonny prodded. The woman he had been with tonight did not seem like she would be ‘fine’.

" I know her. She is a Cassadine. She will beat this thing. And her family will do whatever is necessary to make sure she gets through it." Jonas shrugged. Cassadines took care of their own. And if there was one Cassadine that this family felt the need to protect, it was Caroline. She was the light in that dark family. She was the wild one in the family. A scary thing for the rest of the world, but a treasure to the Cassadine family. She could be as cold as her grandmother, as manipulative as her uncle and as treacherous as her father. But the big difference was how she went about it, the spontaneity she threw into the mix. She never spent as much time as to come up with plans. No if the woman decide to take over the world it would be a spur of the moment thing. What really set her apart though was the way she could be openly loving and kind to others. Two things that most members of the royal Cassadine family loathed to show. Yes, she was the light of that family, there was no way they would let anything happen to her.


Sonny nodded. He was not convinced but he figured that he probably knew her better than he did. After all he seemed to have know her for a while. He didn’t really want to take about her state of mind anymore. Because in some way it felt wrong talking about her problems when he himself had his own issues to deal with. " How long have you been working for her?"

" About a year and a half. But I have known her for about seven and half years. I met her on Mt. Everest. I had gotten a letter from a potential client asking me to go there. I was of course confused but heck they paid me a couple thou up front. So I get up there, and there she was this young sixteen year-old with this stoic guard standing behind her. She was just sitting there at the top of the mountain un-bothered by the tall man standing behind her. Taking in the view it seemed she had no intention of ever going back down. Her guard kept prompting her but she ignored him. Then she barked at him in this tone that made ME freeze in my place. I was intrigued so after a half hour of building up my courage I went over and talked to her." He paused to laugh, thinking how he as a 26-year-old had been scared of the 16 year-old. But then of course it hadn’t been any 16-year-old "I was curious as to why she was not leaving. Turned out she had a tutor afraid of heights waiting for her and she wasn’t in the mood to study so she had decided not to go down for while. I remember it took us four hours and a chopper to get her down from there. Two days later her grandmother called me to offer me a job as her granddaughters head of security," Jonas grinned.

" You didn’t take it." Sonny pointed out.

" Nope. I wasn’t prepared to deal with a hardheaded teenager. So I suggested someone else but I kept in touch with Caroline. Once you meet her you can’t help but want to know more about her. To say she is an enigma is an understatement," he spoke fond of the woman he had come to adore over the years.

" So why did you take the job years later?" Sonny asked not missing the way the man spoke about her. He obviously cared for her. In the back of his mind he wondered whether he was in love with her. But then he pushed the thought away, why would he care anyway?

" She wouldn’t let anyone else watch her or take care of her. Being a Cassadine alone is dangerous enough, with her state of mind it was worse. So when Stefan called me I accepted the job. She is my friend and I will take care of her until she gets past this thing." Jonas answered. Sonny nodded understanding. He also took note of the ‘friend’ somehow it made him feel better. Why? He had no idea. He was shaken out of thoughts when the captain came out to tell them they would be docking soon. Jonas got up and followed the Captain. Sonny decided to take that chance to go down the cabin, he wanted to make sure she was okay before he left.

When he reached the room he opened the door quietly to see her fast asleep on the small cot. Sonny came to the side on the side of the small bed and bent down to brush her hair out of her face. He looked down at her and could see that she had shed her wet clothes and put on the robe Jonas had brought her. He pulled the covers up to her chin and just sat there watching her sleep. She looked so beautiful and calm in her sleep except for a small frown on her forehead. He reached down to smooth that frown of her face. He looked at her sadly, hoping he could erase the pain she felt as easily. What he had seen tonight had disturbed him. If you would have asked him earlier today if he would like to know what made her tick, or her weaknesses. He would have jumped at the idea simply to find out anything he could use to make her stay away from his friend. But now he just felt sad. He empathized because he had been there, gone through the same kind of hell she was going through now. Sonny shook his head…this was…he needed to get out of here…he needed to deal with what he had found out tonight about the woman he had truly believed was a conniving witch. The woman he had wanted before …wanted? Yes. Finding out she had vulnerabilities did not curb that want. Even now as she lay there he could not help but watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He couldn’t stop himself from taking in the sexy body that lay before him. Sonny shook his head and brought himself to his feet, his hands firmly on his sides. He needed to get out of here. He knew Jonas would take care of her. He gave her one last look before heading back to the deck.