" Nikolas? Nikolas? NIKOLAS?"

Nikolas lifted his head from the pillow to see Emily standing there. When she had gotten a whiff of Nikolas’ breath, she could tell that it was a mixture of alcohol and vomit.

" Whew", Emily said as she backed away from Nikolas a little. " Rough Night?"

Nikolas was still disoriented.

" Nikolas. I can smell the alcohol on your breath. Seems like you were trying to conquer the world last night, but, it conquered you. Want to talk about it?"

There was NO way that Nikolas could or would talk to Emily about last night. He had hoped his sleep would continue, but, as soon as he could get a dream, the same one kept replaying over and over in his mind..changing between his mother and Katherine. Eventually, he had snuck down to Jerry’s apartment and taken an unopen bottle of vodka. Thank goodness Jerry had a fully stacked bar. He drank as much as he could and passed out.

Emily picked up the bottle, with only a little left in it, and put it in the garbage can.

She then came over and sat on the edge of Nikolas’ bed. Nikolas had by this time, turned his back to Emily.

" Please go, Em."

" No, Nikolas. You got hammered last night. You rarely drink. What is the problem?"

" My life. Simple enough?"

" No. You’ve handled bigger blows in the past. Did something happen with your parents?"

" Which ones? Stefan..no, Luke. Laura, maybe Lasha."

" Nikolas.....did you break up with Katherine?"

" Katherine? Emily, are you even going to pretend that you actually care if I did."

" Honestly, I think it would be the best thing in your life, because that skank doesn’t deserve you. But, I want what makes you happy, Nikolas. Don’t you know that? And, if that blond ho makes you happy, then, I’ll grimace and bear it."

" Skank? Ho? Well, Emily, tell me how you really feel.", Nikolas tries with a semi-crooked smile.

" Nikolas, you are one of the few people that I think I can tell my honest feelings to. And, especially when you are in this bad a condition, I think I have a right to know why...well, maybe not a right. Just an inquisition point."

" Emily, no big mystery. I felt like tying one on."

" Tying one on? You’re losing more and more of that classical education everyday. Well, now t hat I’ve scolded you, I’ll leave you alone. But, you know Nikolas, if you need to talk, I’m here."

" I know, Em. I know. I don’t forget that." Nikolas mumbles rolls over and dozes back to sleep

" Nikolas. NIKOLAS!!" Nikolas snapped out of his thoughts to see Emily standing there, with a sandwich and some juice for him.

" Where were you? You weren’t here." Emily hands Nikolas the food and goes to sit on her bed.

" I was just thinking about something. "

" Well, whatever it was, it must have been interesting. I had been standing there for a few minutes. You need to lay off the sauce, Nikolas. Whatever you drank, was potent."

" Sorry, Em."

" No problem. So, did you get to look over my report before you tied one on? I hate to be insensitive to your plight, but, I want to do well. This teacher doesn’t think much of my plans to leave school early, and I get the feeling that if he could, he’d try to flunk me so that I couldn’t graduate."

" Sounds like a jerk."

" He is." Just then, Emily’s cellphone rings. " Hello?"

" Em. It’s me."

" Oh. Hi Jason." Nikolas looks over and he sees that Emily is obviously nervous. " What do you want?"

" I was wondering if you want to come over and take a ride on the bike?"

Emily bit her lip. " Um, Jason, I have a big report that I haven’t even started. I have to go."

" Em..what’s wrong? Why are you so busy? Why are you avoiding me?"

" I’m not Jase. I’m busy. Bye." Emily hangs up the phone. Emily looks over to Nikolas and then looks down at the floor. Nikolas finally sits up, semi-alert in bed.

" Em. Why did you lie to Jason like that?"

" Like what?"

" Come on. I know that you’re all the way ahead on your work."

" Nikolas, I don’t want to burden you. Especially since you have a lot on your mind."

" Em, you’re a lot of things to me. But, a burden isn’t one of them."

" Well, when the truth first came out about Michael, I thought, what was best for Michael, would be Jason. Even with the lie, because he loved Michael so much. I looked at you, and saw how you turned out...strong, supportive, sensitive, a good person, and I wanted that for you. But, ever since I found out all the truth about you, and how that truth has upset you, I see the difference now. How my selfishness has hurt both Michael and AJ. I see your pain, and I realize what kind of pain Michael would be in years from now. The bad thing is that I still love Jason."

" How can that be bad?"

" Well, he did something wretched. You don’t love Stefan anymore, do you? Do you?"

" I don’t know, Emily. I don’t want to, but, I’m beginning to think that I won’t be able to stop. I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to stop loving Jason. He made a mistake. Just tell him so. If his love is that rigid that it is contingent upon you backing him in a lie, then that’s not real love anyway."

" It’s just that I’ve lost so much in my life. I don’t know if I want to lose Jason."

" You can only lose Jason if he’s stupid enough to let you go. He goes around preaching that people have to belong to themselves. Well, from where I sit, Emily Bowen-Quartermaine does belong to herself. And, that means that she can disapprove of Jason Morgan and his lie.

Emily, I want you to know something."

" Ok."

" I’m not seeing Katherine anymore."

" Oh. "

" As a friend, I thought you should be up to date on the situation."

" If that’s what you want."

" Yes, it is. Emily, I have a brother, a sister, two fathers, a mother and two aunts. But, I only have one best friend. And, that’s you. I hope you know that."

Emily takes his hand. " Sure, Nikolas. I know that. We’ll always be friends."

Emily then leans over and gives Nik a kiss on the cheek " Well, I won’t hold you to our studying tonight. Even though this is just morning, I know how bad hangovers can be. So, you’re off the hook."

" Thanks Em."

Emily blows him an airkiss and then mouths ‘take care’ and leaves.

Nikolas lays on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He has no idea of what he’s supposed to do. How is he going to handle this. What the hell is going on with him? Nikolas felt like crap. All the way through, to his bones. And, he knew that it wasn’t just the alcohol. He wish he could blame it on the booze. But, his life was one big mess, and he had no one to talk to. He had no father. No mother. Not even Lucky. Lulu was a child, Emily was his friend, but, too involved. A shrink? Cassadines didn’t do psychiatrists. The thought had slipped in his mind when his mouth said,
‘ you’re not a Cassadine anymore.’ True, but, only added to what he didn’t know about himself and what he had to fix. He fumbled his hand across the nightstand until he got to the bottle of Advil. He took 3, sans water and rolled over again in bed.

***************************

" Lady Jane? Are you here?", Jerry yelled out to the yard. He got a ‘YES’ coming from the beginning of the Jacks forest.

He knew what Lady Jane was doing.

She was fixing things in her garden, for the animals that lived around the house.

" Jerry, I knew it was you. I felt that you were coming."

" Felt me?"

" Yes. Don’t be a smartypants. Get those gloves on and come help me."

Jerry put the gloves on and within moments, was down in the dirt with Jane. The growing season for anything in Alaska was shortened, but, if you were smart and lucky, you could almost time it down to a science. Jerry would never have admitted it to anyone, but, Jane knew better: Jerry had a green thumb. He could grow anything. He was talented at it. When they were poor and without food, she marveled at how Jerry grew food for a couple of years, that kept them fed. Jerry had all sorts of talents, that if you looked beneath the surface, would creep out. But, his mother knew that he kept them hidden because when he learned them and how he did, weren’t exactly happy memories for Jerry.

" Jerry, why are you here? Did something happen to Jax?"

Jerry winces at hearing his brother’s name. He doesn’t want to, and knew that it would happen. He thinks she beat her old record: under 3 minutes for the platitudes, and get down to business. Jerry silently commented that he doubts if he’s ever seen Jax with his mother in the garden. No, that was ‘his’ job.

" No, Mum. Nothing about Jax."

" How is he? Is he feeling better? Is he dealing with Brenda’s death? Is he seeing anyone?"

" Fine. I guess well. He’s handling it. No one that I know. I’m not exactly in Jax’s loop."

Jane can’t hide her disappointment. She was hoping that Jerry was bringing good news about the possibility of reconciling with Jax. The two of them continue to garden in silence when Jerry breaks it:

" Have you and Dad been taking care of yourselves?"

" Of course, Jerry. We’re not starving. Especially after the funds just ‘appeared’ in those Paraguayan accounts."

" They just appeared, huh?", Jerry says with a crooked grin.

" Do I need to ask where you got the money from?"

" Jane, all you need to know is that I worked for it." Jane lifts her eyebrows in doubt and Jerry continues to protest, " I did. I did!"

Jane laughs.

" Alright, Jerry. I should have known better. When the goverment took all that they could find, your father and I retreated here, to Alaska, letting them believe that we were ‘grateful’ for the crumbs that they had given us. I am happy that they let us keep this house. Thank goodness for your miserly banker’s paranoia. We can now have something to live on."

Jerry smiled right back at his mother.




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