Simone's New Start ~Chapter 14 ~Unresolved Feelings~
by Mademoiselle Butterfly

Chapter Fourteen

Tonight we found Simone in her dorm room; she appeared in her robe watching her bathtub fill up with hot water. Her mind, began to drift as she began putting her hair up in a high bow on the top of her head. Quietly, she felt like she wanted to cry it had been a long day. She stood there, in shock, hurt and crushed from all the emotions she felt at that second. Entranced just watching the water pouring into the tub. She thought to herself, “Stay focused, Simone.” Just stay focused she kept telling herself over and over again. She soon, slipped into the tub and closed her eyes letting the water surround her.

Her mind raced with a million different scenarios of the past twenty-four hours. She felt like she wanted to disappear or at least stop time for a couple of seconds in order to catch her breath. She exhaled deeply, staring into a spacey trace. At the moment, all of her joints and ligaments ached profusely. Her feet clenched with pain from a week of dance practices and all of her careless mistakes. She wondered if this was how Whitney felt a lot of days after her tough tennis practices.

Soon all her thoughts went towards her problems with her family. She loved and missed them greatly but wondered exactly how many times she would end up crying over one of their many arguments and lack of understanding. She felt like she needed to be centered at the moment, with no thoughts racing through her head especially personal problems. She had so much weighting on her, she thought about the school projects that she needed to do. Dance routines she needed to learn, money she needed to raise for a car and job she needed to go to, to achieve that goal. It was all getting to be too much she was beginning to stretch herself too thin.

School and all her hobbies was one thing but now the extra emotional baggage that her family made, was enough in Simone’s eyes. She was officially fed up with them butting into her life, that was one of the reasons why she moved away in the first place. To get away from the controlling nature her parents had and her problems with sister. Just then she stopped to laugh at herself. Letting her mind and thoughts overpower her heart that wasn’t like her. This was her life and if she had struggle right now, to achieve her true independence from her family then that’s what she would have to do.

So damn the consequences, she knew that through these hardships she was worth it. Now, she truly felt like Kay’s determination was finally starting to rub off on her. Her unwillingness to give up, Simone had to admit it was one of the things that she admired in her best friend despite some of her devious actions. Soon, a lot more relaxed Simone got out of her bath feeling a hundred percent better. The sting from her sore muscles was finally gone as for her problems with her family well, she just couldn’t find any solution for that just yet.

She almost wished that she could confide in Kay, but of course her best friend was apparently still upset with her over the continuing Miguel and Charity mess. Simone wondered exactly how long these constant thoughts of splitting Charity and Miguel up would plague her best friend's mind, she felt that Kay really needed to move on with her life and onto real relationships. So, after pondering all these deep thoughts Simone said a quiet prayer and went to bed. She prayed for guidance and a little good luck. And that hopefully by tomorrow all of the day’s events and mayhem would be far from her mind and possibly her heart as well...

~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~***~~~~~~
Speaking of family, and matters of the heart it’s now Friday evening as Lane Carrington bravely faced his fears tonight. He uncomfortably dials up his sister, Leigh’s phone number. After getting her on the phone line, he nervously asks, “Well, didn’t Father tell you that I was back?”

“He mentioned it.” Leigh trailed off.
“Oh.”
“Look, Lane. .” “I’m sorry but I have to go right now.” she says.
“Well, will have to catch up some other time okay.” Lane says.
“Oh, sure.”
“But wait, Leigh.” Lane said.
“Yes.”
“Um, I need your help, I’m trying to contact Logan.” He says. “Do you know of a number where I can reach him?” “I last heard that he was staying in London.”
Leigh takes a deep breath. “Hold on.” She reluctantly says.
“Sure.” Lane waits.

Only to hear pages turning, “Here,” she says. “This is the latest number I have for him but Lane I’m warning you.” “He may not be willing to speak to you, considering your twenty year gap to contact us.”
She reads out the phone numbers.
Lane tells her how he’s “Eternally grateful.”
“Fine.” Leigh replies.
“Leigh.” Lane says.
“Yes.”
“Look, I’m. .I’m sorry for everything.” He says humbly. “I should have kept in touch with you and Logan both and I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

“Well, that’s good to know Lane that you’re sorry, but its too late now.” she says.

“Leigh, sweetie I always wondered how you were.” “I missed you.”
Leigh grew silent.
“And I’m a different person now.” “With a different life, I have a family now with Julia.”
“Good, I heard.” Leigh says bitterly.
“Well, I hope to make up some of this time we’ve lost one day soon.”
“Yeah, well. . .”
“Um, you know it would be wonderful if you and your family could visit for the holidays and maybe meet my kids, don’t you think?” Lane asks.

“Maybe, I’ll think about it.” She replies.
“Well, look...” Lane starts to say.
“Goodbye, Lane.”
“Oh.” “Bye, Leigh.” “I love you.”
“Yeah, bye.”

Click!

She hangs up; leaving Lane left hearing only to dial tone.

Lane sat there in his study, for a few minutes, pondering thoughts. She hated him, his own sister. He could hear it in her voice, the disgust, anger and sadness. He sat in his chair in a daze looking like a stone statue, only moving once or twice to reach out for another drink of scotch.
“Honey, are you ready?” Julia asks entering the room putting on a loose earring.
Lane looks up at his wife. “Uh, yes.” “I am.” He says rubbing his ear lope and straightening his tie.
He takes one last sip of his scotch and said, “Let’s go.”

*****~*******~*****~****
Now, we spy on Dr. Eve Russell at the hospital she had just finished with a round of patients quietly she sat at her desk overlooking pictures of her daughters as children growing up displayed in their ballets outfits, little pink tutus and all. Glancing down at other framed photographic memories her eyes came across more recent photos from a year ago. Eve stared at the photos seeing both her girls appearing with big bright smiles, embracing each other happily. The photo shoot was filled with laughter, Eve remembered, the two kept laughing at the photographer’s bad toupee.

It made her tear up inside, quietly she wept. Soon, the phone rang “Hello, Dr. Russell.” she said softly.
“Eve.”
Hearing the voice on the other end, Eve perked up.
“Julian?” she asked.
“It’s me.”
“Oh.” “How are you?” she asked wiping her eyes.
“I’m well.” He replies.
“Oh, good.” “What can I do for you?” Eve questioned
“Nothing, just calling to see how you were.” “I’ve been thinking about you.” He says.
“Oh.”

“Eve, you don’t sound like yourself is something wrong?” Julian asked.

Eve grew quiet.
“Eve?”
“Julian, I made a mistake.” She said softly.
“A mistake?” “What kind of mistake?” he asked.
“With my girls.” Eve replies.
“Go on.”
“Julian, I took your advice about making the girls sit down to workout their problems.”
“Yes.”
“And, it was a disaster.” She told him. “My girls weren’t ready and now I think that I may have just made things worse.”
“How?”
“By forcing them, Julian.” “I wanted them back together so badly that I may have just sabotaged things.” “Whitney’s a mess now and Simone, she’ll probably never speak to me again.”

“Eve, now of course that would never happen, your girls love you.” “They worship you Eve, both on them especially Simone.” He assured her.
“I don’t know, Julian after what I did.” “See, I wasn’t outright and honest with my intentions especially to Simone.” “I called her and told her that I wanted to chat excluding my plans to get her and Whitney to reconnect.” “And soon everything just blew up in my face.” She says.
“Eve, it couldn’t be that bad.” He said.
“It was.” Eve told him. “Julian at first, things were okay they were venting but then things turned for the worse.” “The yelling began, then the name calling my babies went from acting like mature young women to something I didn’t recognize.” “And poor Whitney I didn’t know how much pressure TC and I put on her, the almost unattainable expectations to reach and then there’s Simone.” “She so sensitive and has so much potential but she doesn’t always believe in herself and it’s my fault.” Eve said sadly.

“What?”

“It is Julian, I never fully realized just how much attention TC and I have put on Whitney over the years.” “I guess because she’s our first born, she’s unique to us but Simone.” “She feels so rejected by us and it makes her doubt her abilities.” “And she’s in turn has developed these harsh, intense, spiteful feelings towards her sister.” “She told us that, she feels like she has to distance herself to be happy.” “And its so hard to hear my baby say that, why should she have to feel like that?” Eve asked.
“Well, Eve sometimes for our children finding their own way is the only way for them to find true happiness.” Julian expressed.
“Why?” Eve asked softly. “I don’t understand it, were her family, Julian were suppose to make her happy.”
“I know, Eve.” He said.
“It’s not supposed to be that way, not with Simone.” Eve said. “It’s not healthy.”

“Well, Eve do you think she’s trying to cope at all?”

“A little.” “But then this thing with Whitney has changed her, both of them.” “Whitney’s so sad lately she tries mask how she’s feeling but I can tell.” “She really misses Simone and deep down I think Simone misses her too.” “But the answers to resolving their problems aren’t that easy to figure out.” “Julian, you have two daughters right?”
“Yes.” “Iris and Abigail.”
“Well, tell me what would you do if one of your daughter’s always feels like they have the world on their shoulders and the other feels like their lacking in worth and value?”
“Well, Eve given my track record with my children, especially Fox and even Ethan I don’t think that I can answer that for you.” He says.
“I guess it’s different with girls.” Eve said softly.
“Possibly but Eve, don’t give up okay you have good instincts you’ll figure it all out.” “Maybe, you probably need to just step back and let them figure things out themselves.” Julian said.

“But, Julian it’s so. .”

“I know it’s a tall order Eve.” “But think about it this way your girls are human, their complex individuals with deep thoughts and opinions about the world and themselves.” “As you admitted Whitney was the one you doe on while Simone wasn’t not intentionally of course but this is their realization of their own lives.” “And Eve it’s okay because everyone sees their own lives and childhoods differently.” He explained.

“That’s true.” Eve replied.

“You’ve raised two beautiful, intelligent, bright daughters Eve who are choosing different paths to follow.” “But don’t think that just because your girls aren’t speaking that they’re going to grow apart forever, life may bring something different into the fold.” “When they’re ready Eve, they’ll come back together.” “When they’re ready, trust me.” He told her.
“I guess.” “I just want my girls back that’s all.” Eve said softly.
“I know.” “But hold out hope Eve soon they’ll deal with they’re unresolved issues.”
“I hope so.” Eve whispered.

********~**********~**********
Later on that night, we find Julia and Lane coming from a charity benefit at the Harmony Country Club. Julia looked stunning dressed in an off the shoulder bright pink satin gown with a embroidery flowered patterned pink and black silk wrap while Lane looked handsomely in his black tuxedo. The couple began walking down the entrance’s steps, discussing the night’s events. “Well, that was an interesting event.” Julia commented.

“Yes, it was fun wasn’t it?” Lane replied.

“Fun, honey?” Julia said with a shocked look in her husband’s direction.
“Well, I don’t believe you actually had fun in there talking with all those pretentious people.” “Did you see the way they looked at us when we entered the room?” she asked.
“Darling, they weren’t that bad.” Lane said escorting her into their car.
“Well, I guess not to you.” “I mean, for goodness sakes you grew up around most of them.” Julia states.
“Julia, its not that it just wasn’t that bad to me.” “Not all of them gave us looks." Lane replies taking her hand.

“I guess not.” “So, you certainly got livened up after a few drinks tonight.” She said.
“Ah, I needed them.” “The food was awful.” Lane comments.
Julia laughs. “That it was, remind me never to hire that cater who did this function.”
“Sure and you know, darling there’s nothing like the Harmony upper class of blue bloods as a great social setting.” Lane said with a smile.
“That’s for sure.” “Ugly looks, boring conversation and bad food.” “What’s not to love?” Julia remarks.
“Jules, baby you know what I think that everyone, they all were just shocked to see me tonight after all this time.” “It’s been twenty years, we’ve all gotten grayer.” Lane assured her.

“Hmm, I guess.” “Well anyhow, all I can say is at least your father wasn’t there to ruin our mood.” Julia said.

“Well, he’s another issue.” “But honey, lighten up.” Lane replied entering the car.“Were just going to have to get use to all of this, I figure.” “These events in the community were going to have to attend, father, everything.” “And look on the bright side okay, I just received a lot more potential buyers for my gallery opening.”
“Yes, you did.” Julia admits. “They were very impressed with you, honey.”
“Not only me, but my lovely corporate lawyer wife as well.” Lane kissing his wife’s hand.
Julia blushed, “Lane, you little charmer you.” “I think you’ve had way too many glasses of chardonnay tonight.” She noted as they drove home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Just then as the Carrington’s drove off on their way home. Unaware to them that they’re son Gabriel just arrived at the old Carrington estate. He politely went up to the front door as the butler greeted him, “He’s waiting for you in the foyer.” Soon, Gabe appeared in the foyer to see his grandfather Edward standing there with his white hair, bright eyes and his late night cigar in his hands.
“Hi, Grandfather.” Gabe says greeting him.
“Hello, my boy.” Edward replied. “How are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m doing well.” Gabe says as they walked into the library.

“So, you’re probably wondering why I called this meeting with you tonight.” Edward states.
“A little.” Gabe admits.
“Well, I just wanted to talk with you, have some face to face time with my grandson, the future generation of the Carrington name.”
“Here, would you like a drink?” he asked.
“Um, I’ll take a coke.” Gabe responds.
“A coke, oh your mother’s influence again.” Edward says rolling his eyes.

Gabe glanced around the huge library study; he had never been in this part of the house before.

“Wow, this place is huge!” he states.
“Yes, it is.” Edward says. “Only the best for the Carrington men, you know your father use to be in here all the time as a kid.” He states handing him his drink.
“Really.”
“Yes, he was destined to be a great attorney.” Edward tells him pouring himself a glass of scotch.
“That’s strange, I can’t picture Dad being a lawyer.” “It just doesn’t seem in his character.” Gabe says sipping his coke looking at all the books.
“Yes, well not anymore anyway.” Edward says bitterly.

“So, Grandfather what was it that you wanted to talk about?” Gabe asks.
Edward chuckled, “Just like a Carrington straight to the point.”
“Well, my son since the last time I saw you.” “When you were about thirteen I presume you had an interest in being a lawyer right?” he questions.
“Yes, but back then I was a kid.” Gabe responds.
“What you, don’t want to you be a lawyer? Edward asks his right eyebrow raising.
“No, it’s not that Grandfather.” “I just you know want to keep my options open.” Gabe told him.
“Oh, I see.” “Your father did as well when he was about your age and look at what he’s made of himself.”

“Huh, but Grandfather Dad runs many wonderful galleries all across the globe.”
“Yes.” “I know Gabe, but is he reaching his full potential.” Edward replied jesting with his cigar.
“I guess.” Gabe says shaking his head not understanding his grandfather’s point of view.
“Well, then come here son.” “I want to show you something.” Edward says walking over towards his desk.

Soon, he pulls out this huge, gold leaf covered book.

“Gabriel, this here is your legacy.” “The Carrington family has been apart of the town of Harmony for centuries.” “And in that time, we have carved ourselves into a disguished breed of corporate lawyers working longtime ventures with the likes of the Cranes and many, many more.”
“Really, I’ve never knew that.” Gabe said surprised
“Well, your father and mother have tried to shield you and your sister from me and well your destiny.”
“My destiny?” Gabe questions.
“Yes, to be and do great things.” “Mainly restore our family’s honor.”

“What?” “Grandfather, how am I going to do that?” Gabe asked.

“Oh, you’ll see my boy.” “You’ll see in good time.” Edward replied.
“Okay,” Gabe said not knowing what his grandfather meant.
“Well, let me give another history lesson.” “Follow me,” Edward demanded.
Soon the two appeared towards the family room. They stood over by the fireplace overlooking huge framed portraits. “When you look at this portrait, who do you see?” Edward asked him.
Gabe looked at it intently, “Wait a minute, is that Dad?”
“Yes, it is and you’re Aunt Leigh when they were younger.” “And this one over here is of your father’s younger brother Logan.”

Gabe smiled at the pictures, “Who’s this grandfather?” he asked looking at another portrait.
“Oh, this is your grandmother.” “My sweet Meredith, she was so beautiful.” Edward said raising a toast to his beloved wife.
“Well, I wish I could have known her.” Gabe says sadly.
“Me, too.” “You know, your sister reminds me of your grandmother a lot.”
“Really.” Gabe said with a smile.
“Yes, I can see she’s very special like my Meredith.” Edward said.
“Hmm.”
“Gabriel, one day your portrait will be hanging on this wall along side the others and then my boy you’ll know the true meaning of the Carrington name.” Edward told him.
“Okay.” Gabe said quietly.

“Well, my son I better let you be on your way.” “I don’t want you out too late.”

“Okay, I had a good time Grandfather.” “Thanks for the history lesson.” Gabe said with a bright smile.
“Your welcome, oh and Gabriel I just want you to do me one little favor tonight.” Edward says.
“What’s that Grandfather?” Gabe asks getting his coat.
“Take some insight into what I’ve said, and know that everything that we discuss is between you and I.”
“Alright, I will.” Gabe responds.
“Good, and I’ll see you at Sunday dinner then.”
“Okay, goodnight Grandfather.”
“Goodnight, Gabriel.” “Study hard.”
“I will.” Gabe says leaving the house.
Edward then shuts the door after he had left. He then takes a big puff out of his cigar, “Where one fails, another will come.” He stated to himself.

~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
The night wasn’t over for many of Harmony’s residents. We now stroll over to a household filled with memories of the past. The household was small, filled with influences of jazz greats, and big dreams for those who reside inside. Upon the walls of the little house, were tons of pictures of a man long gone. A man, that in youth and until the present day seemed to hold together all of the dreams of a life full of happiness for one special woman, his wife, the heartbroken Liz Sandboure.

Every night, as she went to bed, she could feel the present of her beloved husband surrounding the walls of this tiny house that held so much promise. In her dreams she saw him, felt his tender kiss and heard his voice clear as day. Some dreams were extremely sweet; where she would remember the very first day she saw him, or remembering the very first kiss they shared. He made her whole, and losing him so suddenly crushed her. Most nights, as she lay in bed dreaming her sweet memory filled dreams soon, those precious moments would fade and a taunting nightmare would appear.

First, Liz would begin to relive the night Charles passed. Every detail, from the last kiss he laid upon his wife’s lips, to the time she heard the news that he was gone. Every month, like clockwork around the time of his death she would began to hear his voice calling out to her, saying words like “I’ll love you forever.” “Elizabeth, you’ll always be with me.” Then, his words would become muffled and the only thing she would be able to make out were; “My death wasn’t suppose to happen.” “Remember that night, I didn’t want to leave you.” “I wasn’t supposed to leave you.” “It’s they’re fault, they took me from you!” “Remember everything, sweetheart. . .”

Hearing this an emotional Liz would awake as she always would crying and screaming heavy heartily begging for him to come back to her, not to leave. Her eyes widened with despair and hardship as sweat dripped down her body. She opened her eyes to more sadness she was alone, always alone. She crutched her pillow and reached over to Charles side of the bed where he laid many nights. Always dreaming his big dreams of a future together filled with children, accomplishment and most importantly happiness. Liz cried in the silence of the night, she cried for her husband as she cried for her happiness to return.

In the mist, of one of her crying spells the telephone began to ring. Scaring her she jumped hearing it ring, “Hello?” she answered.
“Hi, Aunt Liz!” the voice on the other end said. “It’s me, Chad.”
“Oh.” “Chad.” “Honey, how are you?” she says trembling.
“And how’s Los Angeles?” Liz asked softly.
“Good.” “I’m fine, great actually.” Chad replied.
“Well, I’m so happy for you.” she replies. “Well, um hon, how’s your Dad doing?”
“Fine, just fine.” “He asks about you all the time.” “I can tell he misses you.”
“Oh, well I miss him too.” Liz says weakly.

“Aunt Liz, are you okay?” “You sound a little strange.” Chad says.

“No, I’m alright.” Liz responds.
“Oh, man.” “I just realized how late it probably is there.” “I’m waking you up aren’t I?”
“Chad, it’s alright any phone call from my nephew is well appreciated at any time of night.” Liz said wiping her eyes.
“Well, I just wanted to give you a call and see how you were.” “I just got the news that the latest single I’m promoting hit it big on the music charts.” “Everyone’s playing it.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful to hear.”
“I know, well I really miss seeing you and having some of your good home cooking!” Chad admits.

Liz smiled, “Well, I miss having you around too.” “Especially getting you out of trouble with the Russell’s.”
“Yeah, that must have been fun.” “Well I gotta go lay some more tracks down but, I’ll tell Dad to give you a call soon okay.” “Hey, could you please tell Whit I miss her.” “If you happen to see her.”
“Sure, Chad I will.” Liz says.
“Great, well then.” “Goodnight, Aunt Liz and sweet dreams.” Chad said.
“Goodnight, Chad.” “I love you, honey.” Liz says wiping tears from her eyes.
“I love you too.” “Bye.”
“Bye.” “Take care.”

Click!

After chatting with her nephew, Liz turned over and reached for a portrait of Charles she kept by her bedside. She wanted the feeling of agony to go away, soon she thought of Eve. She had her husband, children, happiness and Liz was truly living in misery. A misery filled past that she just wouldn’t allow to go away from her heart. She wanted every night to be back with Charles, she wanted back every little moment they had shared together. But until the time came when she could be with him again, she was going to have her revenge. Both Eve and Julian were going to pay and anyone else who had a hand in Charles untimely demises. She would make sure of it, Charles deserved that much, Liz thought to herself, then things would be even for everyone.

Quietly, Liz says a silent prayer hoping to have her revenge soon than later. She then reaches over to turn off her bedroom light as she did she came across the Harmony Herald newspaper, the Real Estate/Business section of the paper. Picking it up, she notices something unusual after pondering some thoughts through her head. She finally has a plan of how to set her revenge in motion, a sly smile comes across her face, she reaches out and kisses Charles picture. “Thank you, thank you, sweetheart for looking out for me.” “Soon, everything will be better, I promise you that.” “Everything will be better.” She whispered to the framed photo . . .

Chapter 15

Chapter 13

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