Sacrifices of the Soul, Chapter 36
 
 
 

" I want to know what you’re doing to protect my mother from her husband.", Chad demanded.

Julian put his hands to his temples and rubbed. It was going to be one of THOSE kinds of conversations.

" Ok, my belligerent son, what seems to be the problem now?"

" The problem is my mother’s husband."

" TC? Well, I thought you couldn’t say enough good words about him."

" Times have changed."

" Why don’t you have a seat, and tell me what’s going on."

Chad takes a seat across the desk from Julian.

" Simone came over to  my place last night. I was trying to be a good brother to her."

Julian nods. " Ok. And, the problem is?……"

" Simone didn’t tell TC that she was coming over to my place. He thought she was over at the Bennett House. So, when he arrived over at the Bennett House to pick her up.."

" Simone wasn’t there."

" And, we walked in, as if on cue. He said I had no right to be near her. Told me to stay away from her. I told him that as long as Simone needed and wanted me in her life, I was going to be there for her. I’m through tiptoeing through life trying not to hurt his feelings. I exist. Too bad for him."

Julian wanted to smile, but, didn’t. " And, this has to do with me?"

" My mother needs protecting from him. If YOU won’t, I will."

" Wait a minute. Who the hell has been protecting her all this time?"

" You.", Chad grumbles.

" Yes…ME. I’m doing everything I can. I told you, she has excellent representation. The problem isn’t representation. The problem is your mother. If she’s still a zombie in a few weeks, she really IS going to lose everything."

" Have you gone to see her today?", Chad says quietly.

" No. Not yet. Do….do you want to go with me?"

Chad shakes his head. " Not today. I’ve got things to think about."

" Fine."

" I….I just wanted to know that my mother was being protected."

" She is."

" Yeah, well, thanks. See ya later."

Julian sighs as he watches Chad leave.

Julian goes back to his business, until a few moments later Ethan walks in.

" Father, was that Chad getting on the elevator?"

" It was."

" You two…..have made up?"

" No. He likes to give me a hard time, from time to time about things. Test the boundaries."

" Oh…well, I brought these contracts here that you wanted."

" Thank you, Ethan."

Ethan begins to leave when he turns back to Julian.

" Father?"

" Yes, Ethan."

" Do you want a relationship with Chad?"

" Let me ask you, Ethan, would it bother you if I had a relationship with Chad?"

" I don’t think so. Chad and I used to be good friends once upon a time. It’s weird, with the rest of my siblings, we’re siblings, but, I don’t know if we would have ever been friends. Chad was a friend. One of the few people that was a friend to me DESPITE me being a Crane. I didn't know how rare that was until I lost it. "

" Why did you lose it?"

" Because, Chad has high standards set for people, and I let him down. I know I did."

" Well, if YOU didn’t live up to his standards, then how can I? Everyone knows you’re a far better man than I could ever hope to be."

" I think you sell yourself short, Father. Sometimes……sometimes you listen to Grandfather too much. As I get older, and now that Gwen is pregnant, I realize what you did, as you kept me away from Grandfather. I know he was a very important and powerful man, Father. But, you don’t even realize that you aren’t like him at all."

Julian stared at Ethan, and there was a silence between them.

" I’ll look at these contracts. Thank you, Ethan."

Ethan gave him a slight smile and nodded before he left. He knew why Julian had thanked him.

Julian turned his seat around towards the big window overlooking Harmony. He had many things on his mind.
 

" Well, Eve, your exercise session this morning seemed to have been successful.", Kevin Collins offered. " Will this be the day? Will this be the day when you open up to me. I believe the last time we talked, I was wondering about your past. Your childhood. Can you tell me about a pivotal moment in your childhood?"

Eve didn’t even look at him. After all, she thought the guy was a moron, and what good would talking about this ‘pivotal moment’ do? It already happened? There’s nothing he can say that would change it.

A pivotal moment…

Eve sighs, as a memory comes flooding back…

[FLASHBACK]
 

" Clarissa, Simone, I’m home.", Simone’s mother said, opening the door.

Little Clarissa and Simone came into the room running and smiling. Though her mother had to work this morning, she had promised that this afternoon, they would go to the park to the carnival. But, in order to go, the house had to be clean. Clarissa made sure that the apartment was spotless, and that Simone’s little brother was dressed and ready to go.

Clarissa couldn’t believe her life. In the year that she had been with Simone and her family, she had to curb a lot of her old habits. She didn’t have to store food up like a squirrel for the ‘lean’ times. When the middle of the month came, there was still food to eat in the house. That the adult in the house paid the bills, and Simone didn’t even know what they were.

Clarissa had even gotten TWO new dresses. NEW dresses. She remembered the Saturday that they all first went to the department store. Clarissa had never been there. All the new clothes. All the well dressed people. She and Simone must have spent a couple of hours trying on the new clothes. She couldn’t believe all the clothes. They had to bring the money that they had saved doing their odd jobs around the neighborhood and with their allowance. Clarissa didn’t understand why she got money for doing chores around the house. She would have done them anyway to be able to stay there in the house. She thought Simone’s mother knew that. They put the clothes in something called lay-a-way, and they went back and paid on them two more times…and then the clothes were HERS. NEW clothes. Something she’d never had before. They fit her, because she had chosen them.

Her mother expected the homework to be done. And, she actually checked it, and looked at her report card. Clarissa got a special pie baked for her if she did well. And then there was the television. Clarissa couldn’t watch it until her homework was over, but, once it was and her chores were done, she watched it every night until bedtime. Only recently had Clarissa become comfortable enough to whine a little when bedtime approached. She couldn’t get over that Simone’s mother would check to see if they were in bed, and sometimes, she’d play with them and tickle them if they hadn’t gone to sleep.

Clarissa loved Sundays most of all, because that’s the day that they would get their hair done. Simone’s mother had a friend who did hair on Sundays for women who worked the rest of the week. Twice a month, they would go to this woman’s apartment, and get their hair washed and pressed. The other Sundays, Simone’s mother would do their hair with care, putting a new ribbon in it. Clarissa loved how she would brush it, and part it, and braid it with such care. She realized that Mamas did this for their daughters. Sometimes, she would close her eyes and pretend that Simone’s mother was her mother.

But, that wasn’t true. Though she hated it, she was still forced to go visit her mother in the sanitarium. They would go every two months. After a visit, Clarissa turned to the social worker, and said,

" My Mama’s getting fat."

The social worker went over to Clarissa’s mother, and undid her gown, and saw for certain a protruding belly. She shook her head in disgust. The woman’s brain was fried, so she KNEW it couldn’t have been consensual sex. And, here she is, PREGNANT, and who knows who did it. She told Clarissa to finish her visit with her mother, but, to make sure she didn’t do anything to her tummy, while she went and cursed out the Director of the facility.

When they came to visit her again in two months, the pregnancy, which had been slightly visible last time, was now very obvious. Clarissa came back to the social worker after only a few minutes.

" I don’t wanna be around my Mama. She stinks. "

The social worker went towards Clarissa’s mother, and the stench nearly blew her away. She was pregnant, and even if her mind wasn’t that cognizant, the body demands of pregnancy were still there, which meant that, as usual, a woman had to go to the bathroom often. But, they obviously didn’t care about that. And, she saw remnants of regurgitation, obviously from morning sickness. She wheeled Clarissa’s mother to a nurse and read her the riot act. She came back to Clarissa, and took her into an office, and gave her some crayons and paper.

" You can draw while I take care of your mother."

Clarissa nodded, and the social worker went and watched while they bathed Clarissa’s mother, and she made them get a new mattress and some sheets.

Clarissa noticed her when she came back, but, she went right past her into the Director’s office.

" I can’t believe what kind of a shitty place you run here."

" I take offense to that."

" I don’t care. Bad enough, you crackpots weren’t doing anything to help the woman try and regain her sanity. But, one of YOUR animals knocks her up, and you have the nerve to treat her worse than garbage? You’re disgusting."

" I run a public facility that’s always short on funds and staff."

" So, you hire staff that gets their jollies with women who can’t speak, let alone fight back."

" You don’t know that it was one of the staff."

" Well, it was for damn sure NOT the Immaculate Conception."

" What do you want?"

" All that needs to happen is for a bedpan to be placed under her. And, have it checked every few hours. Pregnant women go to the bathroom ALL THE TIME…mentally aware or not. It’s BIOLOGY. I found a rubber cover for the mattress. Put it on there, so that the mattress isn’t soiled. You know, if you can’t keep her clean any other time…I TELL YOU when I’m coming with HER CHILD. It’s traumatic enough for the child to come here. But, to see her mother in such a wretched state is inhumane of you."

" I’ll take it under advisement."

" You do that, asshole."

She came out of the office and took Clarissa by the hand, and took her out of the place.

It was a Sunday, and they had just come from getting their hair done, when they saw the social worker outside of the apartment. By the look on her face, Clarissa knew it wasn’t good.

" I need to talk to Clarissa.", the social worker said.

Once they got in the apartment, Simone’s mother told Simone and her brother to go into their mother’s bedroom and watch TV. She sat down on the chair, opposite Clarissa and the social worker, who were on the small couch.

" Clarissa, I have bad news. Your mother died this morning."

" Died? Mama?", Clarissa said quietly.

" Yes. The baby came early, and it was just too much on your mother’s body. She died."

" And the baby?"

" Your little sister died too."

" What happens to me now?"

" You’ll stay here, like you’ve been doing. Only now, you just won’t go on anymore visits to the Sanitarium. Now, you go on in the room with the others. I have to talk to the social worker."

Clarissa nodded and left, but, didn’t go totally into the room. She listened to their conversation.

" What really happened to her?"

" Bastards didn’t give her any pre-natal care. So, while changing the bed, she slipped and fell. Her water broke, but, with all the piss with the bed, they didn’t notice it. No one was there to do the right thing by the baby. Baby killed her, and died itself. "

" Damn shame."

" Did you mean it? You’ll keep Clarissa?"

" I don’t have any reason to stop. She’s not a lot of worry. She tries so hard."

" Thanks. You know how hard it is for these older kids. She wouldn’t stand a chance for anything decent."

" I know."

" When’s the funeral."

" Day after tomorrow."

" I can’t take off of work."

" I know. Just get her dressed as if she was going to school, and I’ll pick her up that morning."

" Sure ‘nough."

" Well, I have to go finish the paperwork. Bye."

The social worker left, and Simone’s mother came into the room, and took Clarissa back to the other bedroom.

" You know, Clarissa, you can cry about your Mama. There’s nothin’ wrong with it."

" Is she in any pain anymore?"

" No."

" Is she going to be drinking and smoking?"

" Not where she is."

" So, she’s happy? Finally?"

" I think so."

" She won’t smell anymore."

" Nothing but pretty smells where she is."

" Then maybe it’s better that she’s dead. She can be happy with my little sister."

" Maybe."

" Day after tomorrow, you’re going to get dressed like you’re going to school. But, in your pretty dress. You’re going to a funeral. Do you know what that is?"

Clarissa shook her dead.

" It’s the last time that a person has the chance to say goodbye to someone they love, before they go be with God. You can say goodbye to your mother."

" Can I stay here?"

" You can stay here."

Clarissa hugged her hard, and then picked up a doll, and laid on the bed, looking out the window. She began crying, not even knowing why.

The morning came of the funeral, and Simone’s mother made sure to get her up early, so  that she could do her hair fresh that day, and put extra ribbons.

" Have to make you look extra pretty for your Mama.", Simone’s mother said.

Clarissa was ready when the social worker came. They got into her car, and drove for awhile. They got to an open space with a field. There were two men there, with shovels, and a man in a black suit with a funny collar.

" Who is he?", Clarissa asked the social worker.

" He’s a priest."

The priest said a few prayers over the pine box caskets. One big for her mother, and a tiny one for her sister. After the priest was finished, the social worker gave some flowers to Clarissa, and told her, " You can say goodbye, now."

Clarissa went over to the caskets, and put flowers on them.

" Goodbye, Mama. I hope you’re finally happy. And, that you can take care of my little sister. I’m going to try and be happy with my new family. "

With that, Clarissa turned towards the social worker, and took her hand, and walked away, only to turn for a moment to watch the dirt being shoveled on the coffins.
 

[ END OF FLASHBACK]

Eve had to choke back the tears that were trying to form in her eyes as she remembered that chapter of her life. Years later, after she was married to TC, and a rising doctor. She tried to find her mother and sister in that ‘Potters Field’. She wanted to have them dug up, and given a proper burial.

She discovered that the field had been destroyed years before, as they put a shopping center there.

Eve stared out the window, as she tried to quell the bitterness of the bile rising in her throat.