Julian was the first one up that next morning. He looked at his daughter and wife, sleeping so peacefully. He hadn’t noticed just how much Penny resembled Ivy, but, they definitely slept alike. In Penny he would call it an ‘Angel’ position, but that wasn’t a word that he could use with Ivy.

Julian ran his fingers through his hair, and sat in a chair opposite of the bed. He was reviewing the events of the past few days in his mind. He and Ivy had been..well…almost civil to one another, and it definitely confused him. He liked being able to have certain anchors in his life; certain things that would never change. And, Ivy’s repulsion for him was one of the great constants in his life. He had to wonder what was on her mind. What plan had she hatched against him? He didn’t get to think much more on the issue, because, like clockwork, Penny and Ivy awoke at the same time.

" Morning, sleepyheads."

" Hi Daddy."

" Hello, Julian."

" So, what do you say to Stawberry Belgian Waffles."

Penny lit up. Julian knew that they were her favorites. " I’d love some."

" Ivy?"

" Sounds fabulous, Julian. The nurse should be here in a few moments. We will sponge bath Penny, and then, I’ll get her dressed, so you two can enjoy your morning time."

Julian wanted to scratch his head. Ivy being respectful of his time with Penny? Since when? " Thank you, Ivy." Julian goes over to kiss Penny, " I’ll see you downstairs in a little while, My Beauty."

" Bye Daddy."

Once Julian was gone, Ivy went into the bathroom, to prepare things for Penny’s bath. She knew she had to get the temperature ‘just right." While the water was heating, she want back into the bedroom and sat on Penny’s bed.

" Thank you, Mommy. Thanks for staying with me."

" Darling, I don’t want you in pain. Mommy loves you."

" I know that. And, I also want to thank you for being nicer to Daddy."

" You…you like it when I’m nice to Daddy?"

" Makes it seem like we’re a real family. I know that eventually, I’ll have to go back to boarding school, but, I’m enjoying this time right now."

Ivy thought about that statement, and how sad Penny looked when she spoke about going back to school.

" You really didn’t like school in Switzerland, did you Penny?"

Penny thought about it, and then decided to tell the truth. " No, I hated it."

" It was a bad place?"

" No. But, it wasn’t home. It wasn’t where Daddy is….and you too, Mommy.", Penny added hastily.

" Penny, you don’t have to hide that you and your father have a special connection. I know that. And, I know that you missed him desperately. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the best thing for you, but now, I see I wasn’t."

" Is Daddy really that horrible, Mommy? I know he loves me, but, is he horrible to you? Is that why you two are so mean to one another?"

Ivy looked at her daughter. So young, and so innocent, yet already the Crane jadedness is creeping upon her. She wondered about Penny’s question. It was an honest one. She and Julian had been at it for so long, it would be an obvious question to ask. The truth, is still complicated. She’s hated Julian for NOT being Sam, and treated him accordingly. Julian, though no choir boy, has only been reacting to the negativity that Ivy’s put out. They have had some tender moments, and everytime Julian let his guard down, Ivy had punished him for it, thus making him weary. But, Julian isn’t Sam, and he won’t ever be Sam, so why was Ivy continuing to punish him for not being something he never could be. There is another Julian. She’s seen it, off and on, since the day Ethan was born. She’s seen the tenderness in his heart towards his children, but only if he doesn’t believe he will be scorned for his feelings. He’s seen Alistair ridicule Julian so many times for showing emotion to their children, no wonder he does it in secret. He doesn’t seem to care with Penny. Maybe because he’s older, maybe because he’s tired of hiding his love, but, it’s there. So, after thinking about all that, Ivy was ready to give her daughter an answer:

" Daddy isn’t a horrible man. Sometimes, we bring out the worst in one another, instead of dealing with the issues that bother us. For both of us, the other is the closest thing to a punching bag, and though we are loathe to violence, we don’t seem to worry about verbal violence. I’m sorry for that. I see how upsetting it is for you, and it’s the last thing I want for you. I’m going to try and do better, Penny. For your sake and for our sakes. I’m sure your father will too."

Penny smiled, and with her one free arm, grabbed her mother in for a mini-hug. " Thank you, Mommy. That’s all I needed to hear."

The nurse arrived, and they got Penny ready for her bath.
 

Chad had gotten up early that morning. He didn’t feel like facing anyone. He went to the Book Café and helped Beth prepare for breakfast. Afterwards, he took a few muffins, and some coffee, and found himself outside of Father Lonigan’s office. He knocked on the door.

" Come in."

Chad took a breath and went inside.

" Hello, Father Lonigan. It’s me, Chad Harris. I..I brought you some muffins and coffee."

" Why thank you, Chad."

Chad put the food down in front of Father L, and just stood there.

" Is there something that I can do for you, Chad?"

" Well, yea…um…I need someone that I can talk to."

" My ear is always open, Chad."

" I’m not a Catholic, Father. I’m not anything."

" That’s ok. Sometimes, you just need to talk."

Chad sat down. " You know about my mother."

" Yes, she and I have had several conversations about you. Even before she knew who you were in respect to her life."

" You did?"

" Yes. Before she knew that her son was alive, she came to me several times in tears, because she couldn’t quite get over the death of her son."

" She said she mourned me, but part of me didn’t believe her."

" She did."

" Well, since all this went down, she’s come to me. Telling me that she’ll tell her family, and I’ve asked her not to."

" Why is that?"

" Because, she has a good thing going here. She has a GOOD family, Father. A family like off of one of those TV shows. And, she’s willing to throw it away for me?"

" I doubt she sees it as a waste."

" Yeah. I’m getting that now. I didn’t before, but, last night.."

" What happened last night?"

" A lot of stuff. But, she offered to tell Coach, Whitney and Simone. It was the look in her eyes. It scared me."

" Why?"

" Because she has all these emotional attachments to me. And, I don’t have any to her. Not yet. She’s willing to throw her entire life away for me. I’m not worth it."

" She would beg to differ."

" Yeah, I know. But, she doesn’t ‘get it’. You don’t either."

" What am I missing?"

" My mother is some ‘creature’ that has been in my imagination since I was conscious of what a mother is. Eve Russell isn’t my mother. Not yet. She’s this woman that I know, with beautiful eyes, but, in my heart, she’s not my mother. And, until I feel she IS my mother, I can’t have her messin’ up her life."

" Maybe she thinks that if she tells the truth about you, it will facilitate the mother-son bond."

" I don’t know. I think that I would feel even crappier if she lost everything she’s worked for all these years. And, Simone and Whitney would be too hurt. For what? Me? Come on. I’m not worth it."

" Chad, a mother’s love measures things differently. Your mother loved you. All these years, she’s had this love for you. You can try and run away from it, but, it’s there. Why not accept it? Let her in, Chad. She never abandoned you. She was never given the choice. You DO understand that, don’t you?"

" Yeah, Father, I get it. I know it. But, it’s hard, you know. And, I haven’t even gotten into the Whitney situation."

" What about Whitney?"

" Well…we…we almost had ‘a thing’."

Chad let that hang in the air, and Father Lonigan  finally got it. A worried look came on his face.

" Did anything happen?"

" No. Not for lack of trying. But, Whitney wasn’t a ‘booty call’. Sorry for the language, Father. I feel..felt something for her."

" Chad, the feelings you have for Whitney won’t disappear overnight. You have to work through them."

" I know. But, it was hard. I broke her heart last night. Told her I didn’t care. It was tough."

" But necessary."

" Yep."

" Chad. I don’t know what to say to you. I think you need to write things down. Organize them."

" No way, Father. Nothing against you, but, I can’t have a written record of this. If it fell into the wrong hands.."

" Many people would be hurt."

" Yep. So, no way."

" Ok. Write letters to yourself, and burn them afterwards. You need to be able to organize your thoughts."

"I…I dunno. Maybe in song. Father, I have to go. I..I wanted to know if I could come by..you know…sort of on a regular basis. I don’t have money for a shrink, and I trust you more than I would some shrink."

Father Lonigan smiles. " That would be lovely, Chad. How about a standing morning appointment. Everyday but Wednesday – I meet with the local religious leaders then. You bring the breakfast, and I’ll bring my ears."

Father L extends his hand, and Chad takes it, " Deal."