Honestly Love You Chapter 7
Posted by caroline crane
 
 

Whitney stared after Chad until he disappeared inside the main house. She blinked back tears, for once thankful for the bitter wind stinging her eyes and giving her an excuse for her tears. She'd didn't know why she was crying over him, he'd made it clear to her that he didn't want anything more to do with her. What she didn't understand is why her heart hurt so much every time she ran into him. She'd spent the past year trying to convince him to leave her alone, now that he was finally doing what she wanted why did it hurt so much?

The cottage door swung open and Whitney snapped her head around, coming face to face with Sheridan Crane. "Whitney, I'm so glad you could make it," Sheridan said. "Come on in, it's freezing out there."

Whitney pasted a smile on her face and followed Sheridan into the cottage. "Thank you, Ms. Crane. It was nice of you to invite me."

"Please, call me Sheridan," her host said as she closed the door. Sheridan was dressed in traditional English riding gear, making her an even more striking presence than she usually looked. Her riding boots were shined to perfection and the red riding jacket fit her perfectly, accentuating every curve of her body. Sheridan followed Whitney's eyes to her outfit and let out a musical laugh. "I probably look silly. It's an old habit, required dress in boarding school."

"No, you look wonderful, Sheridan," Whitney answered, stressing the last word. It felt strange to call a member of the Crane family by their first name, especially one that she didn't know, but she'd heard that Sheridan was more like Ethan than the rest of the family.

"Well, let's just get started then, shall we? The stables are just behind the main house, it's not far." Whitney set her purse down on Sheridan's couch and followed her back out into the brisk winter air, their breath rising in white puffs as they walked around the mansion to the stables.

They stepped into the warm quiet of the stable building and Whitney took in a sharp breath - it looked like something out of a movie. The air smelled of an inviting mixture of hay, sweet clover and animals, and both sides of the long building were lined with rows of stalls. They walked slowly up the center of the stalls, Sheridan pointing out each of the horses by name. Finally they stopped in front of a stall near the end of the barn and Sheridan cooed softly to a small white mare with specks of gray on her neck and haunches. "This is Katherine's Dream. Julian named her for his mother, she bred quite a few champions in her time. She's retired now, though, and she's one of my favorite horses to ride. I just call her Lavender, she seems to like it."

Whitney smiled at the sentiment and reached out a tentative hand to stroke the horse's muzzle. She gasped a little as the animal seemed to lean into her touch, snorting softly and nuzzling into Whitney's outstretched hand, the soft down of her nose caressing her fingers.

Sheridan smiled at the effect Lavender was having on her new friend. She knew as soon as she saw Whitney's eyes light up that she'd made the right choice with this horse - she didn't get nearly enough attention and Julian didn't seem interested in riding anymore. Even Ethan had given it up after college, so she was thrilled to have someone to ride with again. "Have you ever ridden before?"

"No, I've never even seen a horse up close," Whitney admitted, smiling shyly. "She's beautiful."

"I think you and Lavender will get along just fine," Sheridan declared, patting Whitney's shoulder affectionately. "Now come on and I'll show you where the saddles are. Once we run through the basics a few times you'll be riding like a pro."
 

~

Hank breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped out of the mansion and into the fresh, crisp air of Harmony. Every time he breathed in the scent of salt brine and winter he remembered why he'd come home in the first place - he'd traveled the whole world over looking for a place where he could finally be himself, but in the end he'd discovered that the right place had been there all along. It had never been about Harmony, it had been about his father and the way he'd always held Sam up as an example of perfection.

"Hank, why can't you be more like your brother?" He couldn't begin to count the number of times he'd heard that phrase growing up, so many that finally he'd started to believe that no matter what he did, he'd never be good enough. When his father died he knew he should be heartbroken, and in a way he was sorry that they'd never gotten the chance to find any common ground. But part of him had been relieved that he could finally stop trying to measure up to an impossible standard, and with the relief came guilt that ate away at him so much that it finally drove him out of town.

He looked around as he finally brought himself back to present-day Harmony and realized that he was standing in front of the Book Cafe. He shook his head and laughed softly as he glanced in the window and saw Beth standing behind the counter, cheerfully serving coffee to a customer. He'd stopped asking himself weeks ago how he kept ending up here without meaning to and just gone with it. Ever since Luis and Sheridan finally admitted that they were in love he'd given up on the pretense of fighting for her affection - it was pointless, after all. He'd known it all along, but the part of him that had always competed with Luis wouldn't let him admit it until there was no way to deny it anymore.
As soon as he admitted to himself that he'd lost yet again to the mighty Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald he realized that it didn't matter that much. Sure, he'd taken Sheridan out a few times and she was a nice person, but he couldn't relax around her and just be himself, flaws and all. With Sheridan he felt like he was constantly on, playing Hank Bennett, World Traveler, laying on the charm even though he knew she wasn't buying it. The only person he'd ever really been able to be completely open with was standing behind the counter inside that cafe, smiling like there was no tomorrow.

He took a deep breath and opened the door of the cafe, stepping inside and taking a second to get his bearings. Beth turned instinctively as the door opened, her face lighting up as her eyes fell on him. "Hey stranger," she called, instantly making him feel like he was the only person in the room.

"Hey," he breathed, leaning against the counter. He hoped he looked more relaxed than he felt; for some reason lately every time he saw her his stomach tied up in knots and he got short of breath.

"So what brings you in here?" she asked as she poured him a cup of coffee. "Rough day at the office?"

He laughed and took a sip of strong black coffee to stop himself from falling into the deep wells of brown that she called her eyes. "I just came from a meeting with The Lord of Crane Manor and his sidekick," he admitted. "I figured this would be a good place for a reality check."

"That's me, coffee, reading material, and a quick check under your hood," she teased, laughing as she imagined her old pal Hank butting heads with Ethan Crane. "I gather things didn't go so well."

"They started off kind of rocky, but Chad stepped in and smoothed things over. He has this weird affect on Ethan, it's strange. I'd never have pegged them as friends."

"I know it doesn't make sense, but it works," Beth shrugged. "I think they're good for each other, Ethan gives Chad someone to fall back on without having to ask for help and Chad grounds Ethan. And Ethan definitely needs to be grounded from time to time."

"I'll say." Hank paused for a moment and glanced around the cafe, working up the courage to ask her the question that had been forming. Why am I nervous? It's just Beth, he told himself, letting out a deep breath and turning to face her again. "So, are you working tomorrow night or can you get out of here for awhile?"

"I think I could manage to get away," she said, her eyes wide with expectation. "Why, do you need me to do some top-secret sleuthing with you?"

Hank laughed and shook his head at her. "Actually, I was thinking more of some not-so-secret ice skating. The pond's been officially declared safe for skating. What do you say, feel like freezing your butt off with me for awhile?"

"Hank Bennett, are you asking me out?" she teased.

He shrugged and flashed her a charming grin. "Hey, it's not like it's the first time."
She opened her mouth to protest, indignation flashing in her eyes. "What are you talking about? We've never been on a date!"

"I didn't say we'd been on a date," he said. "I said it wasn't the first time I asked you out. Don't you remember? Fifth grade, Amy Johnson's birthday party. I asked you if you wanted to walk with me and you turned me down flat."

Beth laughed at the memory and the feeling her laughter produced in his heart took him by surprise. "Hank, I was ten. I couldn't go out to Amy's party with you, you still had cooties."

Hank smiled and straightened up, meeting her eyes with a meaningful stare. "Yeah, well, I've had all my cooties treatments and I'm no longer contagious. So what do you say?"
She smiled warmly as she fell into his eyes. She'd so thrilled when he came home from gallivanting around Europe, but she had no idea his company would have this affect on her. "I'd love to," she whispered.

~

Julian raised his eyes over the rim of his brandy glass as he watched Sheridan trot down the hill on her favorite horse, followed by a young girl on Katherine's Dream. He stepped closer to the window of his study and squinted - it couldn't be. But it certainly looked that way...the long, flowing hair, the beautiful mocha complexion, the graceful way she held herself... "No. Eve Russell's eldest child, here on my property?"

Julian watched the pair as they disappeared down one of the trails lining the property. Once they were gone Julian slumped back in his Corinthian leather desk chair, his brandy glass still gripped tightly in his right hand. What on earth was Sheridan doing, riding, of all things, with Eve Russell's daughter? Eve couldn't possibly know about this, she'd never allow one of her children anywhere near his home. She'd made it clear to him years ago that he was not welcome around any member of her family, particularly that boorish high school gym teacher she'd married. Julian remembered the conversation perfectly - no matter how much brandy he poured down his gullet, her words still clung to his memory, stinging him more with every passing year.

She'd been married just a few short months when they moved from Boston back to Harmony, and they'd only been in town days when he ran into her purely by accident. He'd been at the hospital for a particularly dull board meeting, and as soon as he got a chance he'd snuck out for a cigar and a quick nip to steel his nerves. As he rounded the corner in a corridor of the emergency room there she was, as beautiful and poised as he remembered. She was leaning against the nurses' station, talking to the head of Emergency Services, but he could still see clearly the sadness in her eyes.

Julian squeezed his eyes shut as he wondered how much of that sadness was for him, but when he opened them again she was still there, alive and breathing and not at all happy to see him. As she turned their eyes met and she went positively ashen, the patient file she was holding slipping out of her grasp and spilling onto the floor.

"Eve," he breathed as he rushed to help her, stooping next to her to gather the papers off the floor. For a brief moment he lost his composure and succumbed to the urge to touch her, but as his fingers brushed her hand she pulled away as though he'd burned her with his touch.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, her voice full of venom.

"I'm on the board," he explained distractedly, already lost in her soulful eyes. "I can't believe you're here. I see you finally got your wish," he added, noting her doctor's I.D. badge and her starched white coat. An old bitterness welled up inside him and he cursed his father's name again. Aside from his mother, the only person in the world that he'd ever cared about was straightening up in front of him, smoothing her coat carefully as she tried to contain her shock at seeing him again. Once upon a time when he'd looked into her eyes he found a peace there that he hadn't felt since the day his mother died, but now - now all he saw reflected back to him was cold fury, and he could thank Alistair for that.

"I got where I am on my own," she insisted, her voice low and void of emotion. Julian couldn't help wondering if she actually believed that, or if it was a lie that she told people so she could sleep at night.

"As long as you're happy," he demurred, searching her eyes for any hint that she really was. Instead of happiness all he saw was anger and a hint of regret.

"I'm married now," she said by way of an answer. "To a wonderful man. I've moved on, Julian. I suggest you let go of the past as well."

Julian opened his mouth to tell her that he could never let go of what they'd had together, but he was interrupted by a nurse calling Eve from down the hall. "Dr. Russell, we've got a situation. You're needed in Exam One right away."

"On my way," Eve called. "Julian." As she stalked away from him he stood in the middle of the corridor, oblivious to the activity around him as he turned over her new name in his head. "Dr. Russell. Russell." His eyes were the only part of him that betrayed the shock he felt as he finally registered where he'd heard that name before.

Julian stood up and walked carefully toward his brandy decanter, lifting the heavy crystal with an unsteady hand. He filled his glass and took a long pull, allowing the strong liquid to rush through his system and coat his insides, calming his nerves and dulling the pain the memory brought on. He shoved the memory mercilessly out of his mind and turned back toward the window. "Whitney Russell. Interesting."