Madelaine raised her hand and shook it.

“ Your decision, Julian. “

Madelaine got up off the couch, and went over to the fireplace and touched the pictures on the mantle.

“ I did what I did to protect my family. They’ve always been the most important thing in my life. I was raised on devotion to family.

My parents were successful businesspeople, owning several businesses in New Orleans. Everyone, Black, White, Creole, came into my family’s restaurant in the French Quarter. My mother refused to separate the restaurant into sections for this color, or that color. If you came in, you could easily be sitting next to someone that couldn’t drink from the same waterfountain down the block.

I was the hostess for my parents. I grew up in the restaurant business and had watched my mother handle the most powerful people in the city and state with complete ease. I had her touch.

There was a time when some said that I was the most beautiful woman in New Orleans. I don’t know if that was true, but I had my fill of suitors. Being a properly raised young woman, I made it quite clear to inappropriate suitors that I was not someone for them.

Most young men respected that. Those that didn’t met my parent’s ‘bouncer’ – Jacques. And, if that failed, my brother Teddy would take care of things. My Theodore is named for Teddy. We were fraternal twins – he was seven minutes older. Devastatingly handsome, women of all colors desiring him. Brilliant businessman and the second best chef in New Orleans, after my mother. He could make you cry, his food was so delicious.

I had a wonderful life. It was just the four of us, five if you include Piccola – my nanny, who never left our home, even after we no longer needed her. I was a social butterfly, enjoying the best that Creole New Orleans had to offer. It was an existence full of love and privilege. It’s so odd. Even though we grew up in a terribly oppressive system, as a community, we were able to carve out our own little world. A world where you could live, eat, worship and be entertained without needing the majority for anything important.

Maybe it was that kind of naivete that invited the darkness into our lives. I’ve spent so many nights over the years trying to think of something…anything that I could have done to alter the way things turned out. Sadly,  the same story replays in my mind.

Events that change the entire course of your life don’t announce themselves. There is no neon sign that says, ‘BEWARE, YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO BE ALTERED’. Nothing so obvious.

It was a Wednesday. I do remember that, because I didn’t have school on Wednesday afternoons. As usual, I was in the restaurant. My parents were on the strict side. It was their belief that if I spent as much time in the presence of my family, that little harm could happen to me. In all the years, the only thing I ever wondered was what if my parents hadn’t of been that strict? What if I had been allowed to just ‘hang out’ with my fellow students? Could that have helped me?

I was doing my job when the customer came in. I seated him, and then sent a waitress to take his order. He refused to deal with the waitress and requested that I take his order. Maybe that should have been a sign, but it wasn’t like that hadn’t happened before. I did everything that I could to make the gentleman’s time at the restaurant as pleasant as possible. He left a generous tip, and I was relieved to see him leave. There was something about his eyes that sent a chill down my spine.

So, imagine my dread when the same man arrived for dinner that night. Same routine. Then, he didn’t arrive until the weekend. I found out later that he had asked about my schedule. Even though I was in a restaurant full of people, I became more frightened everytime he showed up. I explained things to Piccola, and she helped me concoct the appropriate story for my parents.

My parents ran a catering business. Piccola was in charge, so I went to help her. There was a last minute party, and since Piccola couldn’t be in two places at the same time, she sent me there. The instructions were that they had their own servers, and the only needed the food.

Sure enough, there were maids there, and they set up the table. A man came in with a glass of champagne and offered it to me. Though I had been told for forever, NEVER to drink at an event, I wanted to succeed. After all, this was the first time I’d been put in charge. So, I accepted it. After a few moments, I was all alone. I began to not feel well. I wanted to go, and went to the door. When I found that the door was locked, I was upset, but I didn’t want to panic.

Then, the door opened, and in he came.”

“ Who?”

Madelaine looked at Julian. “ You can’t be this dense. Who? Who else could it be, but Alistair?”

“ Father? I don’t believe you.”

” Why not?”

“ Well, because you’re…”

” BLACK? Oh, please. White men taking Black women whenever they want is as old as America. Sally Hemings, anyone?”

“ I….I don’t believe you about Father.”

“ Well, well….isn’t this special. You don’t believe me about that fucker. That animal. I was going to be nice about this. I realize you don’t want nice. You don’t deserve nice. You deserve the cold, brutal truth.”

Julian got up from the couch. “ This conversation is over.” Julian tried to walk towards the door, but Madelaine blocked him.

“ Oh no. You wanted the truth, Julian. You’re going to get the truth. So, SIT DOWN!”

Julian looked into her eyes. He backed up and sat down on the couch.

“ I had played this conversation over in my head a thousand times. It was longer. But, I can’t deal with longer. The words are in my throat. You wanted the truth, Julian. Here, it is.

Alistair raped me, that night. As a result, I became pregnant. I was a ‘good girl’. Being pregnant, and unmarried would have brought social disgrace upon me and my family. I only told two people: Piccola and Teddy. Piccola took me to her home in the bayou. I stayed inside, like a hermit, everyday growing in my pregnancy. It was a long and torturous labor of almost 2 days, but I couldn’t risk going to the doctor for fear the news would get back to my parents. But, eventually, my baby came. It was a little boy. I was exhausted.

It was the first night with my son, and we were asleep when they arrived. Alistair and some hired thugs of his. He took my baby, and left for New Orleans. I was hysterical, and Piccola called Teddy.

Teddy waited until Alistair had gone to a business meeting, and he stole my son back for me. Teddy had told Piccola to get me ready. The three of us were going to leave Louisiana and go to California. Teddy would take care of us. He’d do anything to protect me, and since I wanted my baby, I was going to have him.

Piccola and I were dressed and packed. We sat in her living room, just waiting for Teddy to arrive.

Hours passed, and we were worried. Then, we heard a car pull up. I was so excited I ran outside. I didn’t realize it wasn’t Teddy until it was too late. I was pulled into a car by Alistair’s goons, while I could hear Piccola’s screams from inside the house. They held me down until we got to an open field.

Alistair got into the car, and told me that I had been foolish trying to get my son. That my child ‘belonged’ to him, and that he had a purpose for the baby. He said that he admired my ‘fiestiness’, but now it had become tiresome. I was to cease all this ‘foolishness’. He wanted me to know that he was serious. That my son was his, and I was to forget that he even existed, because I would play no part in his life.

He told me that I needed to know that he was serious. He took me out of the car, and gave a signal. The headlights of several cars came on. They were the backlight for a silhouette, swinging from a tree. I went closer to it, and began to scream.

It was Teddy.”

Madelaine couldn’t speak. She stood there, tears streaming down her face.

Julian looked at her in shock and disbelief.

Madelaine nodded.

“ Yes. I am your mother.”