Julian stared at her. He was almost inaudible. “ Please go on.”

” Once my beloved Teddy dead, it was over for me. Alistair had goons, and by the time I returned to Piccola’s house, she was lying on the living room floor. Alistair had written me a note. It simply said ‘let it go’. I understood. Piccola was so badly beaten she was in the hospital for nearly 3 months. He admitted that he would never stop at Teddy. He’d kill my parents and even me to get you.

I thought about telling my parents and asking them for help, but Teddy’s death – it nearly destroyed them. After that, they were the walking dead and never came back to life. I couldn’t tell them. I hadn’t told them the rest, I couldn’t tell them as they buried their  precious son.

Teddy and Piccola were my strength. Teddy was dead, Piccola near death. In order to survive, I let you go.

I went back home and was the dutiful daughter. My parents could have cared less about why I was gone. It was never brought up again. I ran the restaurant in between being at Piccola’s bedside.

I was working there, when 6 months from the day Teddy died, a gentleman came into the restaurant. There was something sweet about him. It was in his eyes. He came back everyday for 4 weeks, sat at the same table, and ordered the same meal. Finally, he came up to me and said, ‘ I will be leaving soon. I just wanted you to know that there is someone who loves you.’ I was struck dumb. I thought I was filthy. Discardable. Soiled.

And yet, in his eyes, through his eyes, he saw me as this beautiful innocent. I felt so safe in his embrace; when we held hands. Something simple as that was so comfortable. He asked me to marry him, and before I knew it, I said yes. We got married. It took everyone by surprise. I had to leave New Orleans. Louisiana. I had loved it so, but everywhere I turned, I saw all the evil.

The afternoon after we got married, I went to see Piccola. She told me that I would never be able to hide from my past. It would catch up to me. I thought she was wrong. I had the solution. I had found a way to escape the horror I’d experience. I was moving far away from New Orleans. I wouldn’t be haunted again.

But, of course, Piccola was right. We arrived on the train in Harmony, Maine. Harmony…I thought the name was a sign. A sign that all my troubles were behind me.

That was a lie. I found that out the day I went to meet Reginald’s employer. Imagine my shock. “

“ Father.”

” Yes. For three weeks, I had hope of living a normal life. Of possibly finding a way to deal with it all. But, there it was. Face to face with every demon I had, and then some. Seeing him again sent me into an emotional tailspin. So much so that I was going to kill myself. “

“ What stopped you?”

“ The doctor calling me to inform me that I was pregnant. Eight months later, Theodore saved me again. Having him saved my life. Gave me purpose. Gave me a belief that my love could go somewhere wanted.

Reginald was such a good father to Theodore. When he began playing tennis, I wanted to object, but it was something they shared. I loved seeing them together. So close. I took comfort in it.

Months turned into years. I focused on the restaurant, my marriage and family, and somehow, living here became bearable. It….it became easier to live here. Sometimes were worse than others, but it became manageable. Everything was going so well, until….”

“ TC had his accident.”

“ Accident. What a polite word. Accident implies that it wasn’t deliberate, and that it wasn’t serious.

The truth is that it WAS intentional. And, that my son almost died. Theodore was in a COMA for over a MONTH. Minute by minute, we didn’t know if he was going to live or die. He was so much of a part of Reginald’s soul, he couldn’t take it. He had a massive heart attack at Theodore’s side.

That was the beginning of the end for his health. I love Theodore. And yet, I’ve been a horrible mother to him. I knew, with his depression and subsequent drug addiction how hard things were for him. He had to watch his father get weaker as he tried to help Theodore through his turmoil.

Theodore carries around the grief about his father. And, I let him. I let him.”

Madelaine began to sob quietly.

“ I…I don’t understand.”, Julian said confused.

” Theodore believes on some level, that he killed his father. When the truth of the matter is, ‘I’ killed him. I killed Reginald.”

She looked up and saw that Julian was in shock.

” Reginald was a quiet man, but he believed in right and wrong. In justice and fairness. And, his instincts rarely failed him. His instincts had told him that Theodore’s car crash was no accident. He began to investigate, by himself. And the conclusion he came to was that there was only one answer to the question: Alistair Crane had caused the accident.

So, Reginald went over to confront Alistair. He knew that his financial livelihood was on the line, but he didn’t care. He’d find another job. He had no idea that Alistair would take great pleasure in crushing his spirit.

He went over to the Mansion and confronted Alistair, who told him he was correct – he had caused the accident, because there was no way that TC was going to beat HIS son. Reginald told him how despicable he thought Alistair was, and then Alistair crushed him – telling him about that we were ‘together’, and that his wife, whom he had worshipped, had given Alistair a son.

When Reginald came back home, I could tell that something had changed. I could see it in his eyes. He didn’t look at me the same way. He spent some time in his study, went to see Theodore at the hospital, came home and didn’t kiss me goodnight. THAT had never happened before. He was dead when the sun rose. They said it was his heart. I knew it was a broken heart. Alistair had stripped him of his dreams, his marriage, his manhood, for if a man can’t believe in his wife, who can he believe in – Reginald used to say that.

I had let him down. I never meant to hurt him, but the truth of the matter is, I couldn’t tell him what happened to me. I didn’t even want to remember it. As the years went by, there is a distance you get towards events. Like it happened in another time and place. A detachment you have to have in order for it to make sense. In order for you to be able to live.

I put my husband into the ground, sold my restaurant, and soon I was back in New Orleans. I had no intention of ever returning to Harmony. Reginald’s death shattered all those illusions I had sold myself about being able to live with what happened. I helped Alistair destroy a good man. A kind man. A loving man. And, I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I robbed Theodore of his father, which is unforgiveable.”

” You didn’t do it. HE did.”

” I was his accomplice. Wittingly or not, he was still able to use me against Reginald.

I had no intentions of returning to Harmony.”

” Then, why did you?”

” Chad Harris. I knew that he was going to get to the truth. Unless I intervened and made sure that the truth he found was one that would cause the least amount of damage to my family. Chad as yours and Eve’s son was the only plausible alternative. I knew I could help keep Theodore and his family together. But, that the truth….well, Theodore can’t learn the truth. I’ve hurt my son too much already. I won’t allow ANYONE to destroy his life further.”

“ Don’t you think he deserves the truth?”

” What would the truth do him? It’s not like the two of you would EVER have a relationship. It’s not plausible. There is NOT enough forgiveness in the world for that. He’s been stretched to the limits. No more.”

“ But, Chad..”

” Has a mother who ADORES him. Nothing else should matter.”

“ But, his mother..”

” Doesn’t even miss him.”

” How can you play God like this?”

” Because, it’s the right thing to do.”

“ It’s not your decision.”

” It is mine. Are you willing to hurt Eve? Hurt Chad?”

” Aren’t you hurting him?”

” No. He has a mother who loves him. He is so loved. You know that.”

“ I don’t doubt Eve loves him, but his mother..”

” Doesn’t even REMEMBER him!”

” Doesn’t remember him? What do you mean?”

” She doesn’t remember him.”

” What, she has amnesia, or something?”

” Or something.”

” Amnesia. Come on. How ridiculous is this. The only person I know like that is Grace Bennett.”

Madelaine looked down at the floor.

” You can’t be serious. GRACE BENNETT is Chad’s mother?”

“ Yes.”