More Than That - Chapter 25: When You Were Gone (Gwen/Luis)
by Jamie Witter
 
 

Chapter 25: When You Were Gone

Don’t it always seem to go
that you don’t know what you’ve
Got ‘til it’s gone
-- Janet Jackson “Got ’til It’s Gone”

“What?” Gwen asked incredulously as she stared at the man in front of him. Ethan looked away from her sheepishly and pocketed his hands. “Are you for real? Are you really standing there and asking me if I missed you? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He walked around her desk and stopped in front of her, his expression serious. “I’ve been thinking about you, lately. A lot, actually. I don’t know why but ever since you came back to Harmony, I’ve wanted to talk to you. To see you.”

Gwen shook her head in disbelief and then crossed her arms across her chest. “Do I need to remind you that you have a wife? And that she’s pregnant?”

“No you don’t,” he replied sounding irritated. He turned to the window, gazing at the sky and then sighed. “I feel incredibly guilty about this, if it makes you feel any better.”

“It doesn’t,” Gwen replied curtly. “But I would like to know what’s going on.”

“Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Try again.”

He sighed and threw her a sideways glance. “I missed you.” Gwen sighed, rubbed her temples and tried to release all the anger she was holding it. She closed her eyes and prayed for her headache to stop. “Look, I know we ended things - ”

“You ended things on bad terms, Ethan,” Gwen interjected and gave him a stern glare when he opened his mouth to oppose. “I am not saying that I didn’t do a horrible thing and I will be living with the guilt of that the rest of my life but it was you who ended our relationship. So what I don’t get is why you’re here and why we’re having this conversation.”

“Because, I had to see you,” Ethan reiterated. It was his turn to rub his temples in frustration and Gwen backed off from her standoffish position, although she was still confused. He turned to look at her, his blue eyes shining with regret and confusion as well. “Last night, Theresa and I had a fight. She found out about Sheridan and was angry with me. I said a few things to her that I didn’t mean.”

“What does this have to do with me?” Gwen interrupted, her suspicions of what he was alluding to getting worse by the minute. “You fought with your wife. All married couples do that.”

“But I thought of you,” Ethan persisted and Gwen gasped in shock. “I know it’s horrible. But I had half the mind to tell her that if you were in her place, you wouldn’t have reacted like that. And I kept picturing how the two of us would get through losing Sheridan together. And I felt guilty and I felt like an golly .”

Gwen took a minute to digest what he was saying and then nodded in agreement. “Well, you’re not going to get any arguments from me about that.” He looked at her pointedly and she frowned. “Ethan, why now? Why not back then when I kept telling you that we belonged together?”

“I don’t know,” Ethan replied honestly with a shrug. “Things with Theresa and me keep getting more tense by the minute. We fight over the smallest things, sometimes I feel like she’s suffocating me and sometimes I feel like she’d be happier with someone else. This pregnancy is really tearing us apart. It should’ve been the opposite.”

Gwen heard the exasperation and sadness in his tone and sighed. She slowly lifted her hand to his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Tilting her head to the side, she gently asked. “What did you expect to get if you married a woman who is seven years younger than you? A woman who was still in college when you proposed? She’s twenty-one Ethan. Most girls her age aren’t even in serious relationships.”

He looked so lost and Gwen saw the Ethan she knew when they were fifteen. Smiling at him fondly, she patted him on the back. He let out a small chuckle. “I guess I never thought about that. But that’s not it. Theresa never expressed any doubt or any hesitation when we were going to get married. She never once said that she was unhappy.”

Gwen leaned her hip against her desk and folded her arms over her chest. “Because she was a child. I naïve, innocent child that fell in love with Prince Charming and thought that was all she needed to be happy. I tried…I tried so hard to get you to listen to me back then. And I’m not saying ‘I told you so’ Ethan, really I’m not. But you can’t come in here and dump your marital problems on me and expect me to say the right words.”

Ethan sat on the edge of her desk, his own arms folded and a slightly amused look on his face. He glanced at her sideways and started to chuckle. “I don’t believe that I’m here. Talking to my ex about my problems.”

“That makes two of us,” Gwen joked.

“I’m sorry Gwen,” he said suddenly, amusement gone and sincerity shining in his eyes. “For everything that I did. For trying to be noble when the truth is I was a complete jackass for betraying you.”

Gwen shrugged. “You fell in love.”

“That doesn’t excuse or justify cheating on you with Theresa,” he answered, his words causing both of them to flinch at the unpleasant memory. “I know that now. And I am truly sorry for barging in here and asking you what I did.”

“To answer your impromptu and improper question – I did think about us, for a long time that is all I thought about. But then all of a sudden, it became more and more unclear to me as to why I wanted you back. And then I started to realize that the reasons we got together when we were fifteen weren’t reasons enough for me to want you when I was twenty-six. And at that point, I let you go.”

He reached for her hand, brought it to his lips and placed a small kiss on her knuckles. Then, he laughed. “ Funny, I just remembered why it was a fell in love with you. You always had the most beautiful soul.”

She smiled at him, a sudden sense of rightness filling her. “Thank you, Ethan.”

He pulled her to him, crushing her against him in a comforting hug. “No, thank you, Gwen. For being such an important part of my life.”

She sniffed against him. “Anytime.”

He laughed. “And I shouldn’t have assumed that you were still available. I should have known that there is probably already somebody else that holds your heart.”

Gwen closed her eyes and thought of Luis. “Yeah, somebody else.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Sheridan?” Luis said gently as he nudged the sleeping figure. She grumbled and turned away from him. Chuckling, he sat down on the edge of her bed and shook her shoulders gently. “Sheridan? Wake up!”

“Go away!” she growled ferociously. Annoyed, Luis pulled the blankets from her, exposing her silky white pajamas. Sheridan shot up in bed, her eyes wide and a scowl on her face. “Luis! What in the world are you doing?”

“It’s time to get up,” he answered calmly.

She looked at her clock on her nightstand and her scowl darkened. “Luis Lopez Fitzgerald, it’s not even day yet! What the hell is going on? And how did you get into my house?”

“It’s a surprise, I know it’s not day and Ivy let me borrow hers,” Luis answered triumphantly. He ushered her out of her bed and pointed to the bathroom. “Now go get dressed birthday girl. You’re getting the first part of your present now.”

Her blue eyes softened immediately and she smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he answered, smiling back. He then glanced at his watch and sighed. ‘But you have to hurry. Are you sure you’ll be okay? Do you need any help?”

Her expression became one of irritation again. She headed for the bathroom, as she snapped at him over her shoulder. “I’m dying Luis, I’m not handicapped!”

Luis flinched at her choice of words and closed his eyes, letting his anger and pain subside. It was Sheridan’s birthday and much as he hated to admit it, he had accepted that it might be her last birthday. He had spent hours trying to decide what to get her, to make her feel happy but had come up empty. Then inspiration had struck and he realized that Sheridan didn’t need material things. She needed to feel loved and happy.

Words that had hurt him, and still stung rung in his ears and he tried hard to not think about what Gwen had said. He tried hard not to think about Gwen at all. “Secrets have a way of getting out and I don’t want her to find about us when she’s going through this. She won’t admit it, but she needs the people that love her to be beside her.” Gwen’s intentions, the meaning and truth behind her words had finally hit Luis and he finally knew what he wanted to give Sheridan for her birthday.

Fifteen minutes later, Luis was driving down the quiet Harmony streets, while Sheridan yawned in the passenger seat. He smirked at her. “You are not a morning person.”

“And you knew that, yet you decided to haul me out before sunrise on my birthday for God knows what reason,” Sheridan retorted. “And no, the idea of getting my birthday present before the rest of the free world is awake does not sit well with me either.”

“Stop whining, Sher,” Luis grinned. “This is the only time I can give this to you. Stop ruining it by being so sour.”

“Have someone wake you up before sunrise and we’ll see how happy you are, Luis,” Sheridan grumbled as he steered the car towards Miller’s Point – a popular teenage make-out point that gave way to the most splendid view of Harmony’s coast and the hills. “And I know how grumpy you get in the morning.”

Luis merely chuckled as the car started to shake, the dirt path beneath them make both of them to bounce in their seats. Sheridan mumbled something about bumps and he threw he an apologetic smile. “You won’t be mad when we get there.”

“Yeah, right.” Once parked at the edge of the point, Luis got out of the car and went over to the passenger’s side to let Sheridan out. Her eyes were wide as she stepped out with him. “Luis, I can barely see.”

“I have a flashlight.”

“Oops, I forgot I was with Mr. Boy Scout,” Sheridan teased as Luis turned the flashlight on and let the beam fall in front of them. “So what are we doing here?”

He reached for her hand and let her to the edge of the point, a small smile on his face. “Sheridan Crane, as part of my birthday present to you, which is to give you the most memorable birthday of you life, I thought that we should watch the sunrise.”

“What?” she asked her eyes wide, happiness filling in them. ‘That’s you present?”

He scoffed. “Part of it. But yeah, I always told you that Harmony had the greatest view of sunsets and sunrises in the world. I never showed you. I figured now was a good time as any.”

“Oh Luis,” Sheridan said, her voice wavering. She gazed at the horizon, which was tinged with a little light, making the dark blue sky turn electric. “Look, it’s rising!”

The pair sat down near the edge, still holding hands. In a matter of minutes, the sunk peeked up from beyond the horizon. It was buzzing with electricity, almost tangerine as it turned the once dark and dull sky into a magnificent shade of cornflower blue. The sky around it looked like something from a painting, pinks, yellows, purples and blues mixed together and all culminating near the throbbing golden sphere. Sea gulls started to cry in the distance and the whole Harmony coast seemed to come alive, everything looking pure and crystal clear. The water shimmered under the morning sky and boats and ships were visible, lined up against the horizon.

When Luis finally tore his eyes away from the view before him, Sheridan was looking at him, unshed tears in her eyes. He reached for her had again, kissed her knuckles and smiled back at her. “Happy Birthday, Sheridan.”

She closed her eyes, tears spilling against her cheeks. “That was one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever received.” Her eyes opened again and blue locked caramel. “Why are you doing this, Luis? Why are you here again, back in my life?”

He was a little taken aback by her question but then recovered with a smile. “Because I missed you, Sheridan. And because I want to be here for you, when you need me. Not like the other times when I was there for you as your hero. I want to be here for you as a friend. As someone who loves you.”

Sheridan let out a laugh. “Just when I think that I have you pegged, Luis Lopez Fitzgerald, you turn around and do something like this. What am I going to do with you?”

“Accept my gift,” he answered solemnly. “And let me be there for you.”

She nodded slowly and looked at the horizon again. “Yes, Luis. I’d love for you to be here with me. I’d love that very much.”

He cupped her face and then bought his lips to her forehead. “So would I, Sheridan. Happy Birthday.”

She snuggled against him as they continued to watch the beginning of a new day. Luis had forgotten how much he missed just being able to be there for her, to show her that he cared. Thing between them had ended so badly, that he was grateful for this opportunity to somehow try and fix it. “Yeah, I think this is going to be a very happy birthday for me. Thanks to you.”

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