Chapter 28: Bad Karma
 
 

I believe in Karma what you get is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
-- Savage Garden from “Affirmation”
 
 
 

Somebody up there really hates me, Gwen mused bitterly as she stared at Luis’s back, watching him speak to Eve about Sheridan’s condition. She must have done something terrible to piss someone up there off majorly. Because she was in love with her best friend’s self-proclaimed soul mate and there was nothing worse in the world than unrequited love. And now Sheridan’s dying and there’s nothing anyone can do.

Taking in a deep breath she walked up to Luis, placing a hand on his shoulder just as Eve left to check up on another patient.

“She was just so drained.” Gwen said as they looked into Sheridan’s hospital room through the window. “She hasn’t been getting enough rest and she’s stressing about things for the last few days. But it’s not your fault, Luis. I know it’s tearing you up inside to see her like this but you have to know there was nothing you could have done.”

“I could have been there for her,” he replied softly.

“You were there,” she protested lightly as he turned to her. “As much as she let you be.”

He rubbed the back of her neck. He looked so tired – so drained himself that she wanted to hold him and comfort him until he was okay again. He looked at Sheridan wearily again. “I should have been there from the start. Instead I wasn’t and I was with - ”

Me, Gwen finished silently as he trailed off. The pain returned to her full force and she bit her inner lip to keep the tears at bay. She nodded slowly as he looked at her almost apologetically. The last thing she wanted was his pity or sympathy. Clearing her throat, she tossed her hair behind her shoulders and managed a tight smile. “I think I’m gonna go get some coffee while I wait for her to come to. Would you like some?”

“Yeah sure,” he replied absently, studying her face intently as if trying to figure something out. Squirming a bit under the scrutiny, she turned to leave when his hand closed lightly over her elbow, forcing her to turn to him again. “Hey.”

“Luis,” she said as he pulled her close, his hand skimming down her forearm and causing goose bumps to break her flesh and the hair at the back of her neck to stand up straight. When her body gently collided with his, she looked up at his intense, raw gaze and felt fear and longing swirl inside her. She pleaded with him again. “Luis. What are - ”

“I feel like that dance we shared somehow caused this,” he said softly, his thumb stroking her wrist. A small, self-depreciating smile curved his lips. “I’ll have you know that my thoughts weren’t exactly pure when we were dancing. I was thinking about all those nights in your bed and how I wished all those people would just disappear so I could make love to you right there.”

“Please don’t,” she urged him softly, torn between her love for him and her nobility.

“And then Sheridan fainted,” he said ignoring her. “And I thought that was a reminder from God…some type of bad karma or something.”

“Probably because it was!” Gwen said as his fingers grazed over the skin of her collarbone. What was he thinking? Why wasn’t she moving away? Because you can’t.

“I didn’t care,” Luis admitted. “I still wanted you.”

Caught off guard, she didn’t react until his lips were on hers – demanding and torturous. She whimpered against him trying to protest but instead he took it as an opportunity to sweep his tongue into her mouth and deepen the kiss. Helpless, she kissed him back pouring her frustration and longing into it, yielding to him willingly, foolishly.

Then she regained her senses. She wrenched her arm free and looked up at him hurt and angry. “You can’t have me! What kind of game are you playing, Luis? One minute you’re telling me how you think dancing with me caused Sheridan to faint and then you’re kissing me! And this morning you were sleeping in Sheridan’s bed all warm and fuzzy and now you want to us to pick up where we left off? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He grabbed her wrist again, softly this time and fixed her with a level stare. “I’m not sleeping with Sheridan. We’re not together. You misunderstood. God, you really think I’m that low?”

“No,” she gave him a sheepish smile, relief and guilt spreading through her, pulling her in two different directions. “Sorry, it just looked that way. But still…this is…we can’t do this. This is too complicated. Too fatal – for everyone involved.”

He let go of her wrist again and then ran a hand through his hair and over his face. He searched her face and she backed away, not wanting to let on to any thing – not wanting him to see how much she loved him and how hard the situation was for her. Now when it was just about want and desire for him. “You’re right. Of course you are. It’s just hard to see…I can’t stay away. I can’t help how I feel, Gwen.”

That statement puzzled her. “Feel?”

He stepped closer again, his eyes softening his hands coming up to cup her face. She met his eyes, troubled, hoping. His smile was gentle. “The low, rumbling feeling in the pit of my stomach. The heat, the way the air seems to crackle when you’re near me. I get light-headed…dizzy.”

She closed her eyes, disappointment rushing through her. Lust, she thought sadly. He still only felt lust. Stop hoping for love, Gwen. He lusts after you. That’s all it was – all it ever will be. She managed another stiff smile, opened her eyes and pretended to be all right with it. “Likewise.”

He grinned, dipped his head again and seized her lips in a slow kiss. Only for another minute, she told herself as she fell into the kiss again. Then I’ll never kiss him again.

“Dios mio.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

golly , Luis swore in his head as he heard his mother’s startled voice and felt like a cold wave just rolled over the heat that the woman in his arms had built inside him with a simple kiss. Nothing like Mama’s ‘Oh my God’ to ruin a perfect moment, he thought wryly. He froze mid-kiss and looked into Gwen’s wide eyes as her whole body went rigid in his arms. Sighing, he looked over her shoulder at his family.

Pilar and Theresa looked like someone had punched them, Martin seemed concerned and both Miguel and Antonio were struggling to keep a straight face. Bastards.

“What’s going on?” Theresa said finally as Gwen retracted from Luis’ embrace and turned to face his family as well. When neither of them answered, she stepped forward and asked again. “Luis? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Gwen replied and stepped away from him. She looked up at him and laughed a little. “Nothing is going on.”

“Oh right,” Theresa stated disbelievingly. “So you weren’t kissing my brother?”

“Theresa,” Luis warned when he heard the tone his sister’s voice was taking. “Don’t start in on Gwen. Not now.”

“Oh so now it’s not a good time for me to ask questions,” she waved her hand dramatically in the air looking betrayed, furious. “But it’s okay for you be playing tonsil hockey with Gwen here right outside Sheridan’s hospital room.”

Martin’s hand closed over his daughter elbow. “You’re brother’s right, lass, not now.”

“Those nights,” Pilar said finally looking as if someone had handed her missing piece to the puzzle. “Every night you were out, you were with Gwen. This woman you’ve been so secretive about is her? Mijo, have you been sleeping with her?”

“Yes,” Luis replied evenly. “Yes, I have.”

Theresa let out an astonished snort. “Oh wow, that’s just great. Fabulous.”

Gwen turned to Luis, her blue eyes harboring barely controlled anger and hurt. He wanted to apologize for the way his family was behaving but the look in her eyes told him that she wouldn’t listen. “I’m leaving, Luis.”

Before he could say anything to stop her, Theresa cut in. “Oh yeah Gwen, do what you do best. Just when things get tough.”

Luis winced as he saw Gwen turn back to face his sister, venom in her voice. “You want to make a scene out of something like this, Theresa? Something that is quite frankly none of your damn business – then go ahead. You want to announce to everyone in Harmony about what’s supposed to be a private, personal matter? Fine. The only thing you’ll be doing is proving something I’ve known all a long.”

Theresa raised an eyebrow challengingly. “What’s that, Gwen?”

“That you have absolutely no class whatsoever,” Gwen answered evenly and then walked away not looking over her shoulder once.

Torn, Luis watched as she headed down the hallway and then let out a frustrated breath as he faced his family again. Pilar looked like someone punched her in the face. Shaking her head she tucked her purse under her arm and headed for Sheridan’s room. “I have to worry about Sheridan now.”

Martin followed his wife but not before giving his son a reassuring pat on the back. Antonio and Miguel had wandered off knowing that things were going to get ugly. Theresa stared at her brother in surprise and then pursed her lips. “Well now I know why you were so keen on keeping your mysterious lover so mysterious. I wouldn’t really want anyone to know I was sleeping with Gwen if I was in your place, either.”

“Shut up, Theresa,” Luis spat out angrily. He stepped closer to her to tower over her. “Don’t bad mouth Gwen in front of me. It won’t work.”

She looked shocked. “Oh but it’s okay for her to insult me in front of my family?”

“You started it,” he reminded her evenly. “Gwen is not the kind of woman to take things lying down.”

“Oh right,” Theresa returned sarcastically. “When the chips are down Gwen doesn’t back out. She lies, schemes and manipulates to get what she wants. And then she sleeps with her best friend’s man.”

“Seems kind of hypocritical of you, doesn’t it Theresa?” Luis’ voice came out a lot more coldly then he intended to but if Theresa was going to bring up the past then it was her choice. “After all, you didn’t exactly happen to get Ethan without a plan, right?”

She looked at him hurt. She took a minute to gather her bearings before she answered. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

Angry with Theresa for acting like a brat and angry with himself for letting Gwen walk away upset, he walked away from his sister and called to her over his shoulder. “What goes around comes around, Theresa.”

And it had sure come around to bit him in the ass.