More Than That - Chapter 29: Dealing (Gwen/Luis)
by Jamie Witter
 
 

Chapter 29: Dealing

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things that we don’t want to know but have to learn and people whom we can’t live without but have to let go.
-- Unknown

Pilar stood in the doorway of living room, listening to Luis talk to Eve on the phone about Sheridan’s condition. She watched her son, wringing the cord of the phone in his hand, his brows furrowed in concentration and worry as Eve reassure him for the hundredth time that Sheridan’s condition was better and that she was stabilized. Luis loved Sheridan she knew that. The place he had in his heart for her was still there – that Pilar was sure of. The tension carved in every feature of his face and his rigid stance gave that away.

But then why was he sleeping with Gwen Hotchkiss?

She knew her son, and she knew that he wasn’t the type of person to sleep with anyone – let alone someone as high maintenance and volatile as Gwen.

“You’re worrying too much, Pilar,” Martin admonished from behind her.

“Don’t you start on me, Martin Fitzgerald,” Pilar replied through clenched teeth. “You have not seen or witnessed the horrible things that both Gwen and her mother Rebecca have put Theresa through.”

“This isn’t about Theresa,” her husband said evenly. “This is about Luis and his relationship with Gwen.”

Pilar’s eyes widened. “Relationship? They’re sleeping together! That’s not a relationship.”

“So the boy is fulfilling his needs with…” Martin trailed off when Pilar glared at him angrily. “All I am saying that he is a man now and he can sleep with whomever he wishes. We cannot control that.”

“Why is it men find unreasonable ways to excuse their son’s behavior?” Pilar stated with a huff. When Martin raised his eyebrow in amusement as if to say ‘like you don’t excuse your daughter’s behavior’ Pilar sighed and folded her arms over her chest. “Gwen Hotchkiss is not the woman for him. Even if she was, think of what this would do to Sheridan if she ever found out?”

Martin nudged her, indicating that Luis had hung up and Pilar turned to her son, worried. He looked at her and gave her a tight smile. “Sheridan needs her rest. Eve says I can visit in the morning.”

“That’s good, we don’t want to stress Sheridan too much,” Pilar replied, looking at her son pointedly. “She doesn’t need that.”

“Mama,” Luis answered with a labored sigh. “Don’t you think I know that? And if you’re warning me about not telling Sheridan about Gwen – believe me, I’m not going to. I would never do anything to hurt her.”

“What were you thinking, mijo?” Pilar exploded.

“Pilar…” Martin warned as Luis sat down on the couch, looking up at is father for some help. “Don’t rag the lad.”

“The relationship Gwen and I had is over,” Luis replied evenly but Pilar sensed underlying bitterness. That worried her even more. “What happened in the hospital was one of those heat of the moment things. Sheridan will never know because it’s over…so you don’t have to worry.”

Sighing, Pilar sat down next to her son and placed her hand on his knee. “How do you really feel about Gwen? I saw the two of you kissing. It looked like something more than the heat of the moment. Can you see yourself with Gwen in a serious relationship?”

“And what if I do?” Luis answered angrily. “What is so bad about Gwen Hotchkiss?”

“She came after your sister with a baseball bat, she locked me in a closet and she’s accused Theresa of horrible things. Do I have to remind you of what happened with Ethan’s paternity?” she asked rhetorically. “We don’t mix with the Hotchkisses.”

“We didn’t mix with the Cranes either Mama,” Luis defended. “But you were okay with me dating Sheridan.”

“She was a good person. Someone you could love – and you did love.”

“Oh so you’re saying that Gwen isn’t the type of person that I can love, Mama? That it’s okay to sleep with her but theirs no real future with her?” Luis asked, fury in his voice.

Pilar stared at her son’s expression – the furious tone of his voice and pain apparent in his eyes and suddenly the situation became clear. Luis was in love with Gwen. And she had a nagging suspicion that he wasn’t aware of the fact.

“Luis,” Martin said, his tone regretful. “Your mother is just worried about you. And about what it would do to Sheridan if she found out.”

“I know you are worried, Mama,” Luis answered, his expression softening and his voice coming out tired and strained. “But there is nothing to worry about anymore. Gwen and I are over and we both know that.” He ran a hand over his face and sighed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight.”

Pilar nodded, folding her hands in her lap and giving her son a smile. “Goodnight.”

After he left, Martin turned to his wife with a small, smile. “He’s in love with Gwen, isn’t he?”

Groaning, Pilar buried her face in her hands and let out a chuckle, the situation her son was in suddenly becoming funny. She lifted her eyes to meet her husbands’ laughing ones. “There is one thing that has to be said about our children. At least they’re not boring.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Gwen,” Sheridan complained weakly as she watched her friend pace around the room, anxious, nervous…almost as if she were guilty of something. “I’m dizzy.”

The brunette’s eyes widened and she rushed to her bedside. “I’ll call, Eve.”

Sheridan chuckled and grabbed Gwen’s hand. “I’m not dizzy because of my condition. I’m dizzy from watching you not sit still. Would you relax? If I feel ill, I’ll let you know okay?”

The other woman smiled sheepishly and the pulled up a chair beside the bed. “I’m sorry. You tend to bring out my maternal urges.” Sheridan frowned and looked away for a minute, hurt. “Sheridan? What happened?”

“Am I really that helpless, Gwen?”

“What?”

“What you just said, it’s true isn’t it? I tend to bring out everybody’s protective urges, don’t I?” she declared sadly. “I mean my whole life, all I wanted was someone to love me, to take care of me…I looked for that in ever single man I dated hoping that the next one would be my knight in shining armor. And I found that in Luis – is that what made us crumble, Gwen? Was I too much to handle?”

“No, honey, that wasn’t it!” her friend protested softly. “Relationships don’t work out, you of all people know that.”

“No that’s not…Luis and I, we were supposed to be together forever, you know? It was the real thing. And I ruined it because I’m helpless,” she said suddenly feeling that all the emotions she had spent the past year trying to deal with were resurfacing. “Maybe with Julian, after Mother died…maybe if I wasn’t so - ”

“Don’t say it,” Gwen threatened, tears in her eyes. “You were not to blame for that, Sheridan. You were twelve years old when your mother died! Julian, if not your father, was supposed to protect you and he did a lousy job of it. That wasn’t your fault.”

“I could have been stronger,” Sheridan explained. “When I was away from them, instead of becoming a spoiled rich girl I could have made something of myself. Like you did.”

“Listen to me,” Gwen stated firmly, putting her hand on Sheridan’s cheek. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. You have a golden heart and you survived through things that would take other people years to get over.”

“Thank you,” she smiled at her best friend through her tears. “I’m not having a pity party, Gwen. Maybe what happened with my family wasn’t under my control but what happened with Luis was. And somehow, I managed to ruin it.”

After a minute of deliberation “Maybe you two can reconnect now that - ”

“I couldn’t do that to him,” Sheridan said, the pain holding her heart in a vice. “I can’t hold him back like that, not when I’m as sick as I am. It’s only a matter of time before I…die.”

Gwen flinched and the closed her eyes. “There’s that damn word again.”

Sheridan chuckled. “I’m used to it. I’ve learnt to get used to it. And I am going to die, Gwen. And getting back with Luis only to leave him again…I don’t think we’re strong enough for that.”

A sad smile played across Gwen’s face. “You love him that much?”

“Yes,” she replied. She thought of all the wonderful times that she spent with him, memories that had been locked in her heart for the past two years. “I still love him that much. Do you know what it’s like to feel that way about someone, where despite everything you can’t change the love or the place in your heart?”

Gwen nodded slowly and a tear slipped down her cheek as a smile spread across her face. “I know what you mean.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Luis entered Sheridan’s room to find Gwen sitting by her bed, the two of them talking excitedly about something. When he came in, Sheridan’s eyes brightened and she smiled at him greeting him happily. He returned the smile and then looked at the other woman in the room who suddenly seemed interested in the material of Sheridan’s linen. “Hey Gwen.”

She looked up at him, startled. “Hi Luis.”

“We were just talking about Beth and Hank’s wedding,” Sheridan said as he bent down to brush a kiss across her cheek. He had to check the urge to do the same to Gwen. “Beth asked me yesterday if I was strong enough to make it and I said that I wasn’t letting leukemia get in the way of their happy day.”

“He just doesn’t want you to tire out again,” Luis reminded her gently. “You really should be taking it easy, Sher.”

“I’m not a child, Luis,” she returned angrily.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay. Keep you safe,” he replied, wondering what brought on Sheridan’s sudden change of attitude.

“Well maybe I don’t need you to keep me safe,” Sheridan answered hotly.

“What Luis is saying,” Gwen piped in, giving him a warning glare. “Is that none of us want you to wear yourself out. Admit it or not, Sher, you’re not in the best condition to be attending a wedding and being a maid of honor.”

Sheridan pouted. “I feel fine.”

“That’s why you’re in a hospital with a IV stuck up your arm,” Luis reminded her.

When her eyes narrowed in his direction, Gwen grabbed his arm and dragged him away. “Excuse me, Sheridan, I need to talk to him for a second.”

“Would you let go of the death grip?” he said once they were outside. “What in the world is wrong with you women, today?”

“Are you insane? She doesn’t need you getting her upset!” Gwen told him angrily.

“I was merely stating a concern,” he snapped. “I didn’t know it was a crime to care.”

Gwen’s eyes softened and she looked at him, seriously. “She’s feeling helpless. And under the circumstances, I don’t blame her. And every time you walk in there riding in on your white horse, it’s going to make her more lousy. She’s changed a lot over the past two years…she doesn’t need you to protect her.”

“Are you saying this or is that what she told you?”

“A little bit of both,” Gwen answered honestly. “I think there are some issues between the two of you that need to be resolved. She thinks that it was her fault the two of you didn’t work out…and until you tell her otherwise, she’s gonna keep believing that.”

“I didn’t know she felt that way,” he said, looking over her shoulder and into Sheridan’s room. “It wasn’t her fault.”

“Tell her that,” she answered. Their gazes locked and he saw the hurt swirling in her blue eyes. “She still loves you very much.”

He nodded slowly and then shifted his weight, feeling awkwardness descend upon them again. He cleared his throat and looked at her apologetically. “About yesterday…Theresa was way out of line. I’m sorry that you had to hear that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Gwen answered, looking away. “We’re over and done with, right? Neither of us should have to worry about that anymore. As long as Sheridan doesn’t find out, then it’s okay.”

Luis pursed his lips together as she turned her heels and walked in Sheridan’s room again and closed his eyes, taking a minute to push all the hurt and confusion to the back of his mind. Running a hand over his face he sighed. “Yeah, it’s okay.”