More Than That - Chapter 39: Return To Me (Gwen/Luis)
 by Jamie Witter
 
 

Chapter 39: Return To Me

And who is the one you’re clinging to
instead of me tonight?
-- Destiny’s Child

The words carved in stone seemed so final to Luis. He never thought he’d be looking at her tombstone, looking at her fresh grave and wondering why people like her were taken away so young, so soon.

It had been a week since her funeral and Luis had stopped by the cemetery everyday and stared at the marble tombstone, rereading the dedication and hoping it were true.

Sheridan Katherine Crane
An angel among us,
May you be happy, in heaven, where you belong.
1972 – 2002

“It’s a little hard to take,” Ethan’s said to him. The younger man stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Luis, both men looking defeated and weary – eyes rimmed red from tears that no longer came. “A little hard to believe.”

Luis folded his arms across his chest and nodded. “It was hard to believe when she wasn’t really dead and the FBI set it up. Now, I have nothing to fall back on. I saw her, I heard the heart monitor…she was gone.”

Ethan looked over at him and gave him a small smile. “The epitaph is true enough. I know she’s happy. I can feel it.”

Before Luis could reply, the rustling of grass beneath high heels demanded his attention and he turned around to see Gwen, dressed in a gray pantsuit and a bouquet of flowers in her hand, making her way over and avoiding eye contact. Smiling a little, she greeted them. “I guess we all had the same idea.”

Not knowing what to say, he gave her an awkward smile and unfurled his arms, pocketing his hands in his trousers. Ethan stepped forward and embraced her, just like Luis wanted to. “At least this saves me a call.”

She raised a curious eyebrow. “Why?”

“Julian left me in charge of cleaning out her stuff, boxing it, packing it up…” he trailed off and took in a deep breath. “He said I could do it any time I liked and I think I’m ready to put it all away.”

Gwen nodded and then bent down to place the flowers on the grass, beside the tombstone. Luis watched as she fingered the letters of Sheridan’s name and he knew instinctively that she was thinking the same thing he had been earlier. “Yeah, I think it’s a good time. As any.”

“Would you help me?”

She looked up at him and smiled, making Luis’ heart skip a beat. “Yes, I’d like to.”

Ethan offered her a hand and she took it, still smiling. Ethan turned to Luis and his brow expectantly. “Luis, would you like to join us?”

His eyes immediately flew to Gwen’s who was in turn, looking at him with an unreadable expression. After a pause, he nodded slightly. “I’ll follow you in my cruiser.”

A half an hour later, the three of them were standing in the middle of Sheridan’s living room, boxes open and ready for all of her possession that were to be donated to charity or given to the people she had instructed to in her will.

“These are for charity,” Gwen announced as she stepped into the living room, a pile of clothes in her hands. Luis watched her move gracefully and efficiently, the jacket of her suit gone, bearing a silky white shirt underneath. Her hair was knotted in a bun; just like it had been the night he had found her cleaning and then seduced her into the shower.

It hurt to look at her, so achingly beautiful, that he turned away and pretended to be interested in the contents of the box in front of him.

“That goes here,” Ethan said, directing her towards the box by Luis’ feet.

Oh good, he thought dryly. She was looking at him without any emotion. After a pause she extended her armful of clothing towards him. He smiled tightly and reached for it, purposely brushing his fingers over her forearms to feel her skin. She stepped quickly as if she were burned. He placed Sheridan’s clothes in the box and berated himself. Way out of line. Pull yourself together.

Suddenly, Gwen laughed and his head shot to see what was the source of her amusement. She was looking at a photo, a fond smile on her face now her eye glowing with love. Ethan drifted to her, looking over her shoulder curiously before bursting out with a chuckle of his own. Gwen looked up at him, smiling. “I can’t believe she kept this.”

Ethan smiled down at her lovingly, his eyes laughing as if the two were sharing a private joke and were lost in their own little world. Luis felt his hands clench at his sides in anger as his desire to protect Theresa and his longing to be the one Gwen laughed with like that rushed through his system. “Yeah well, she was silly like that.”

“I remember this night like yesterday.”

The other man looked at her intently, their faces a few inches apart. “So do I.”

Angry with them and himself, Luis cleared his throat loudly to remind them of his presence. They looked startled and he glared at his brother-in-law, who looked a little shame-faced. Gwen didn’t even spare him another glance and returned to putting things away. Looking away from her, he fixed his gaze on Ethan again and bit out. “Does Theresa know you’re here?”

His brother-in-law was taken aback for a minute but shook his head. “When I left this morning, she was still sleeping. We haven’t talked since then.”

Luis nodded slowly and then sighed. He knew his little sister was having problems with Ethan and now he was beginning to suspect that it was somehow, indirectly related to Gwen. The two of them seemed awfully comfortable with each other again. The way they looked at each other – it couldn’t have been his imagination.

It wasn’t like she had been heart-broken when she had dumped him…and she had tried so hard before to get Ethan back. Obviously they had a history, an intimacy he wasn’t a part of. Maybe they were finding their way back to each other, healing each other over the loss of Sheridan…it could happen.

“I miss him,” he remembered her saying. “Or maybe I miss being loved the way he loved me once. I’ve always dreamed of it. I only wish it would come true – for real this time.”

Maybe, she was getting her wish.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Theresa Winthrop climbed slowly up the steps of Sheridan’s cottage, holding on to the railing with one hand and her stomach with the other. She smiled as she affectionately rubbed her abdomen. “You are going to be the death of me, little one. I can feel it.”

She could almost picture the little devil smiling. Earlier in her pregnancy, she had found out the sex of her baby. Ethan was left in the dark – on his own accord. Of course, he fished for hints and was always trying to figure it out when she went shopping for baby clothes or when she was decorated the nursery. She had been evasive, throwing him off, confusing him, keeping the color scheme of the baby’s room neutral – a soft, mint green.

But her daughter was going to have his father’s shimmering blue eyes and amazing gentleness. And she would cherish her as much as she did his father – they would be her world, her everything.

“Let’s see how Daddy’s holding up,” she whispered and reached for the door of the cottage. “You may never see or know her, but your Aunt Sheridan was a wonderful woman. Someone who meant a great deal to your father. He’ll tell you all kinds of stories about her…and somehow, she will live on.”

Theresa opened the door and stopped short at the sight in front of her. Boxes were scattered, clothes and newspapers were strewn about and in the middle of it all she saw Ethan and Gwen putting away albums, smiling at each other in a way she hadn’t seen him smile at her since they broke up.

Something squeezed at her heart and a hot lump rose in her throat as she tried to maintain an outward appearance of calm. Ethan looked up and stopped smiling, his brows immediately furrowing in concern. “Resa, you okay?”

Biting her tongue to keep the sarcastic comment at bay, she smiled tightly. “I’m fine. Ivy told me you were doing this today and I thought you might need some help. Obviously, I’m not the first one offering.”

Gwen’s eyes narrowed on her but she ignored it as Ethan came to stand in front of her. “I asked Gwen to help. Sheridan meant a lot to her, too.”

Theresa looked at him angrily and lowered her voice. “Sheridan meant a lot to me. I’m your wife. Why didn’t you ask me?”

“You’re eight months pregnant!” he protested.

“I can still help you – maybe not physically but I could have been here for you…while you put her stuff away,” she explained, on the verge of tears. “I wanted to be here for you.”

“Resa, I think you’re getting a little emotional. The doctor said to take it lightly,” Ethan reminded her and then led her over to an armchair to sit down. “Gwen was visiting Sheridan’s grave and I asked her…it’s not a big deal.”

It is to me, her mind screamed. I feel like I’m losing you to her! Not wanting to give Gwen the satisfaction of seeing her cry, she nodded and smiled. “Okay. But I’m here now. Don’t make me leave.”

“Hey Ethan, I need you in here - ”Luis said as he walked into the living room. He stopped when he saw her and smiled. “Hey Theresa. How are you?”

“I didn’t know you were here,” she said surprised as he bent lower to kiss her cheek. She glanced between him and Gwen before putting a hand on his arm in comfort. “Sheridan meant so much to you. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“I’m fine,” he answered. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But I do. You loved her so much.”

She saw him look at Gwen briefly before giving her tight smile. “I’m a big boy.”

The two men left, when her brother mentioned something about a box and left the two women staring at each other with barely contained disdain and anger. Gwen smiled first, sarcastically. “You’re very subtle, Theresa.”

She feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, shook her head slightly. “It won’t work. You can’t control everything. Especially not Ethan. You can’t turn him against me.”

Theresa leaned back and stared at her enemy with a level gaze. “You do it very well on your own.”

The other woman pursed her lips and stood up. “I’m not going to get into this with you. I’m here in Sheridan’s house, packing up my best friend’s belongings. I’m still mourning. At least respect that.”

Gwen left the room before Theresa could respond. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “You’re not going to come between me and Ethan. And you’re not going to worm your way back to Luis.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Gwen stood in the doorway, hours later, watching Luis sit at the edge of Sheridan’s bed lost in thought. She wanted to sit beside him, hold him…let him hold her until she couldn’t cry anymore.

Instead, she walked into the room, and rustled some papers on Sheridan’s desk to get his attention. He looked up surprised and offered a small smile. “Hey.”

“Sorry to bother you,” she replied coolly. “I’m just looking for something.”

“Maybe it’s packed up.”

“No, I’m sure it isn’t,” she answered dismissively as she went through Sheridan’s underwear. “This was private stuff. Female stuff. I’m sure she would want me to take care of it.”

He looked a little embarrassed. “Oh…how’ve you been?”

She turned this time and looked at him, hoping she could answer that question as truthfully as she needed to. “I lost my best friend. How do you think I am?”

When he looked hurt by her answer, she winced. She didn’t mean for her words to be so harsh but her earlier tension-filled, proud and angry conversation with Theresa still had her fuming. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know,” she answered with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired.”

He walked towards her and placed a hand on her arm. She looked up at him, eyes wide and he stared back looking pained. “Want me to take you home?”

I want you to take me in your arms, she said to herself. Then I want you to take me to bed and I want to lose myself in you. Why are you doing this to me? “I’m fine.”

“I can tell when you’re not,” he whispered softly.

She closed her eyes, hurting. “Please.”

“I’m just going to hold you,” he said pulling her close, his arms coming around her waist and his head buried in her head. Is lips touched the skin of her neck, just barely and she shuddered. “I miss her.”

Gwen closed her eyes, brought her own arms around his neck and felt the tears sting the back of her eyes. “So do I.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~