Chapter 14- Forgive and Forget

Theresa walked into her office, people stopped what they were doing to stare, pity in everyone’s eyes. She saw her boss and quickly walked over to her.
"Mrs. Nelson, sorry I haven’t been at work, I’m sure you can understand why though." Theresa began.
The woman smiled. "Theresa dear, you’ve done so much for us, your designs are top rated, don’t worry about it. Family comes first. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and his wife. Its a shock for everyone." She said.
Theresa nodded. "Thank you ma’am."
"Anyway we missed placed two major dress designs. You are the only one that has a copy of them, But your desk was locked." The woman sighed.
Theresa pulled out her keys and handed the woman a small key. "Here you go. This should take care of it."
The woman smiled. "One more thing, we are having a large dinner party, I need you to attend, bring a date if you can."
Theresa smiled back. "When is it?"
"Next Saturday, please do you best to come, we really need you there. The Cranes will be there as well as other family’s in Harmony, we’re having a small showing that night, so its important for you to come."
"I’ll be there. But now I really need to go. My niece and nephew are at home sleeping and I hate leaving them."
The woman smiled. "Well you can work at home for a long as needed. Just keep those wonderful designs coming."
Theresa nodded and headed out the door, people still staring, frowns on there faces, as if they wanted to speak but couldn’t. Theresa closed her eyes, she hated the looks people gave her, she knew they couldn’t help it, she herself had gave those looks before. She opened her eyes just as she rammed into someone walking into the door.
"Gwen?" She questioned as the woman steadied herself.
Gwen looked surprised. "Theresa, I knew you didn’t like me but wow." She forced a smile.
"I am so sorry Gwen. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Everyone was staring at me and I just blanked."
Gwen nodded, "Its fine. How are you Theresa?" She asked her voice weak.
"I’m taking it slow. Just working with the children." Theresa sighed.
"How are they? Is Kendra doing all right?" Concern filled Gwen’s voice.
Theresa shook her head, "She’s having nightmares, I was up all night with her."
Gwen looked down at the floor. "I still can’t believe Sher is really gone."
Theresa watched her face, such hurt in her voice. "Gwen I want to tell you I’m sorry for all the things that have happened in the past. What I did to you and Ethan. It was wrong and I know you’ll never forgive me, but I just want you to know I am truly sorry."
Gwen looked shocked, then a wobbling smile came to her face. "You’ve grown up a lot haven’t you Theresa?"
Theresa nodded, "I’ve been forced too. I was such a fool before, I realize that now."
"You know what, I think I forgave you long ago. After Ethan left you, I wanted to be happy, sweet justice mother called it, but instead I felt bad for you. Seeing the tears Sheridan cried, made me feel sorry for you. "
"I didn’t deserve you feeling sorry for me. Not after all the things I did." Theresa frowned.
"Have you saw him? Ethan I mean." Gwen asked.
"Yeah, he said he was sorry he left. But I can’t go back, Luis always said walk forward and that’s what I’m doing." Theresa explained still shocked to be having a real conversation with Gwen.
"Personally I think we’re both better off without him. " Gwen shrugged.
Theresa smiled, "Maybe your right."
Gwen began to speak then stopped, she looked at Theresa and finally spoke. "Would it be too much to ask, if I could perhaps see the kids sometime? I used to spend so much time with them, before Sheridan,." She stopped and wiped a single tear.
"Before it happened?" Theresa stated.
"Yes. Before it happened." Gwen agreed.
"But as for your question, I have no problem with you spending time with the kids, I’m sure Kendra would love it." Theresa smiled.
Gwen touched Theresa’s hand lightly, "Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me."
Theresa smiled, "Actually I think I do. "
Gwen let out a small laugh, "Who would have thought Ethan’s two ex’s could stand here and have a real conversation? Amazing."
Theresa nodded, "Many things have changed though. Just call anytime you want to come see Matt and Kenji. I’ve really got to get back to them." Theresa said waving.
"OK. I’ll do that." Gwen said as Theresa disappeared out the door.
 

~*~*~*~
 

Jada bound down the stairs as Julian smiled. "Jada darling."
"Grandfather Julian?" She questioned.
Julian smiled, "How about just calling me grandpa? That has a rather nice ring to it." He sighed.
Chad looked at his little girl, loose brown ringlets surrounded her face as she stood grinning at Julian.
"Grandpa here, came to see ya baby doll."
"Really? " Jada asked. "You came to see me?" Her eyes were wide.
"Yes dear I did, and I even brought you a gift."
"A present for me?" Jada questioned.
Julian handed the little girl the box and she smiled looking up at her daddy. "Can I open it daddy?"
Chad nodded, "Sure baby."
Jada tore into the box giggling as she opened it. Her eyes widen when she saw what was inside. A small gold chain held a gold heart lined with diamonds. In the middle of the heart ‘princess’ was wrote. "Daddy look!" Jada exclaimed handing Chad the necklace. Its the bestest present ever." She cooed.
"So I take that you like it?" Julian asked smiling from ear to ear.
"Oh I love it bunches." She giggled.
"What do you say to Grandpa Julian?" Chad asked Jada.
Jada nodded and ran over to Julian wrapping her tiny arms around him. "Thank you Grandpa I love it so much." She said giggling.
"I’m glad darling."
"Wanta see my room? " Jada questioned.
"I’d like that. A lot." Julian said touched by his grandchild’s loving nature.
"You two behave up there." Chad teased. "And Jada, don’t play makeup with Grandpa."
"Yes daddy." Jada smiled grabbing Julian’s hand. "Come on Grandpa." She said as she carried Julian upstairs.
 

*~*~*~

Theresa drove slowly, Ivy had called telling her about Kendra’s dream. The little girl had went back to sleep but Ivy was worried.
"Luis what do I do now?" Theresa sighed. She remembered having nightmares herself, after her papa left.

Flashback

"Papa come back!" Young Theresa called out as Luis came running in.
"Theresa it was another nightmare." He told her.
"Papa left. Again." She sobbed. "He left me alone in my dream." She said hugging Luis.
"You listen to me, You’re going to get through this. You just listen to me and we’ll be fine."
"Luis I’m scared. " Theresa whimpered placing her head on his chest. She felt safe there, in his arms.
"Don’t be scared. You’ve got me. I’m not leaving, I promise you I’m not leaving."
"You won’t leave ever?" She questioned.
"No. Your stuck with your old brother for life." He chuckled.
"Luis I love you." Theresa whispered snuggling up to him.
"You just go back to sleep, I’m not going anywhere." He told her moving a long strand of brown hair from her face. "I’ll stay right here until your all better." He sighed.

End Flashback.

There's a ship out, on the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about, lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God somehow you know that ship is me

"Luis I’m not all better. I still need you." Theresa whispered to the air. "What do I do? She’s so scared. Afraid everyone is going to leave her. Luis she’s your baby girl and I’m scared. I don’t know how to be a mother, much less a single one. This isn’t fair. Don’t you see, I have no idea what I’m doing. " She cried.

She was doing her best, fighting to hold on.
'Cause there's a lighthouse, in the harbour
Shining faithfully
Pouring its light out, across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there still believes in me

"Luis, I’m a mess. Mama’s out of denial, but she just sits and rocks. How do we help her? Miguel’s doing what he can but its hard on him. Hard on us all." Theresa contuined. "Chad’s the one person who’s kept me going, other than your angel’s. And those times at night when I can still see you, or I dream about you. I know how crazy it sounds Luis, Believe me I know."

On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down, against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

Theresa drove, her mind whirling getting home to the kids was all that mattered now. "Did you know I talked to Gwen today? Sheridan you’d be proud of that. Had this really nice conversation with her. It was really strange, but we seemed to let some stuff go today. It felt good to let go of the past with her. I just hope she really did forgive me."

There's a moment we all come to
In our own time and our own space
Where all that we've done, we can undo
If our heart's in the right place

"I mean I still can’t get over it, She told me she wanted to see the kids, and I was glad. Maybe because I don’t have a lot of friends, but for her to forgive me, she’s a strong woman." Theresa sighed. "Those kids are changing me. Funny huh Luis? You helped raise me now I’m doing the same with your kids. I just wish I didn’t have to. It seems so unfair to them, and to you." She whispered.

On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down, against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again
And again I see my yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery
You're changing all that is and used to be

Theresa pulled into her driveway and stopped the car. "Maybe I’ve lost my mind, but this helped. Talking to you helped." She smiled. "Luis, maybe I’m wrong but I almost felt like your here sitting in this car with me. Strange huh?"

On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and it keeps me hanging on
Raining down, against the wind
I'm reaching out 'til we reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again
When you come back to me again

Theresa turned her car off just as the song finished playing. "I love you Luis, I will always love you." She whispered getting out of the car heading into her house.

 Song was 'when you come back to me again' Garth Brooks.