Sacrifices of the Soul – Chapter Five
 

The little boy was so happy. He had finally jumped his first complete equestrian course. It had taken several falls, and even a broken arm, but he finally finished the course on the ‘big’ horse. He was sure to be able to compete now. He had to tell someone, and thought of his mother, who only seemed alive when talking about the horses. Sometimes, he would sit with her for hours, as she recalled her times as a competitive equestrian. She had been on all sorts of horses, and knew each of them with exquisite detail. Horses were the one thing that drew them together. It was their special connection.

Most of his time, his mother stayed in her room, curtains drawn. She rarely came out of her room, only upon occasion dinner, and that was when his father would return from long business trips. Otherwise, he ate alone, in the main dining room, night after night. He really hadn’t seen the point, and loved eating in the more comforting dining nook, in the kitchen, with the servants. But, one day, his father, who had returned home early from a business trip, saw the young boy in the kitchen, and exploded. By the time he was finished, two cherished members of the staff had been terminated, and the dining arrangements for young Master Julian, were made positively clear. So, every evening, a formally dressed Julian Crane would dine in the formal dining room of the mansion, alone, 9 times out 10.

Julian ran up to his mother’s room, and knocked three times, as instructed. When he received no answer, he thought possibly this was one of his mother’s better days, and was down in the garden, so he ran there. Upon not finding her there, he searched place after place after being assured by the staff that his mother was on the grounds of the Estate. He finally returned to her room and knocked again. When there was no answer, Julian turned the knob and went in.

" Mother?" he called. He walked around her suite, until he came upon the bathroom. The door wasn’t completely closed and he tapped lightly.

" Mother?"

Though he received no answer, Julian somehow knew that he should enter, even though he knew it made his mother cross to interfere with her bath time. His eyes came upon his the arm hanging over the side of tub, and there was something red on the floor that seemed to be dripping from the hand. He walked slowly over to the tub, seeing that the water was all red. He touched his mother’s shoulder.

" Mother?" he asked. He did it several times, each more forceful than the previous one, but no response from his mother. He ran into the hallway, and began to scream for help. Several servants appeared immediately, including Geoffrey, who was the majordomo. He looked down at Julian’s feet, and saw the bloody footprints, and Julian said, " My mother needs some help."

Once they got into the bathroom and correctly assessed the situation, Julian was taken into his room, and his equestrian clothes removed from him. He was told to stay in his room, and that it he was not to come out until his father told him to. Julian knew better than to disobey a direct order.

Though he was stuck in his room, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t watch out the window. And from the window, he saw it all: his mother’s usual doctor arriving. Then, the ambulance arrived, but no flashing lights and sirens like Julian had seen in town. Then, he saw something on a rolling cart, with a sheet over it being loaded into the ambulance, and both it and the doctor drove away. He never left his room, but, sometimes opened his door, and looked down the hallway to see the maids coming out of the room with laundry, and with their mops. One of the maids saw him, and shooed him back into his room. Julian sat and played with his toys until he heard another car driving up. Though it was dark, he could tell that it was his father’s car. Instinctively, Julian began to look around his room and put things up so that when his father arrived, the room would be neat and tidy….just the way his father liked it.

He was sitting on his bed, erect, when he heard the doorknob turn..he knew it was his father.

" Father."

" Julian….well, your room is nice and tidy…just as I like it."

" Yes, Sir."

" Julian, I have something to tell you. Your mother…..well, she’s had an accident."

" An accident? Did they take her to the hospital to make it better?"

" No. She’s not at the hospital. She’s dead, Julian."

" Dead?"

" It means she won’t be coming back home. She’s gone from us. "

" Where did she go?"

" With God, I suppose. We will be having people over for the next few days, so you should be on your best behavior…Understand?"

" Yes, Sir." Julian didn’t quite understand his mother being with God, but he didn’t think that he liked it. His eyes began to tear.

" I don’t want to see any tears, Julian. Real men don’t cry. And, now that your mother is gone, you are a man. You’ll have to take care of yourself in my absence..understood?"

" Yes, Sir." Julian stopped his crying.

" Good. The house will be busy, and the staff will be occupied. Don’t make a nuisance of yourself, Julian . Keep out of the way. " Alistair gets up, and goes towards the door. " Remember, your best behavior."

" Yes, Sir. "

Once Alistair had left, Julian went over to the picture of his mother that was on his dresser. He couldn’t imagine not seeing her anymore. He thought maybe his father had been wrong…that his mother hadn’t left them. He went running into her room, but her bed was completely made. The bathroom was now spotless. And, instead of the favorite perfume of his mothers that used to permeate the suite, the strong smell now was of ammonia. Julian ran out of the room and back to his own bedroom, locking the door behind him. He crawled up to the loft that his mother had built for him when he was toddler. He had always thought of the loft as his special place with his mother, and, nearly every present from her was there, including the snowglobe given to him by her at his fifth birthday party, only three weeks before.

" Mother, please don’t be gone", he cried, over and over until he fell asleep, cuddling the snowglobe.
 

" Julian…Julian…Julian!"

Julian woke up from his nightmare and was staring into Sheridan’s face.

" Sheridan..what the hell are you doing here?"

" I came up to the main house to get a snack, and was just coming by your study. It was open, and I heard you crying out."

" Crying out?"

" Yes..you were saying, ‘ please don’t be gone’. You said it over and over."

" Oh."

" Julian…do you want to talk about it?"

" Sheridan, it was nothing. Now, don’t bother me."

Sheridan stands up in a huff. " Fine! I should have known better than to think that you would actually appreciate someone being human to you, since you don’t have a CLUE as to how to be one yourself." She raised up her hands in exasperation and went for the door, when..

" Sheridan….I’m sorry." Julian turned his head to look a wary Sheridan in the face. " I mean it..I’m sorry. But, I’m a man. I’m not into the touchy-feely Oprahzation of this country. "

Sheridan thought about it.." Apology accepted."

" It’s just that I’ve had a lot of responsibility placed on me suddenly, and it’s a bit overwhelming."

" Oh, Julian, that is SUCH a crock."

Julian looks at Sheridan.

" You are loving every minute of this Julian. I think, sad to say, we both are. Though I don’t wish Father ill, I can’t say that I’m that sorry he’s incapacitated….can you?"

Julian motioned for Sheridan to join him on the couch.. "No. You’re right. For all the chaos, it’s been freeing, being able to run Crane Industries on my own instincts, as I see fit. "

" Do you want to talk about the chaos? How are things with you and Chad?"

" What things between me and Chad? He wants nothing to do with me..with the family."

" I know. I had gone looking for him when  the truth came out, and Beth told me that he had quit. He didn’t want to work for anything that the Cranes were involved with in Harmony?"

" Which limited his options severely. He’s doing construction. I’m keeping an eye out for him."

" Has he…has he reached out to his mother?"

" No. He hasn’t wanted anything to do with Eve."

" What about you?"

" What do you mean..what about me?"

" Do you want to do have something to do with Eve Russell?"

Julian looked surprised. " Sheridan, where did you get that idea?"

" I don’t know. I just remember the look on your face, when all hell began to break loose that day. How slowly Eve was being blown to pieces, and I saw a change come over you, Julian. I thought it was my imagination at first. But, then, I realized that it was true and honest..you had such empathy for her. Such caring. In all my life, Julian, I had never seen you have sympathy for someone else like that. Not Ivy, and rarely your children. When you took your place by her side….the way that you did that..I dunno. I had never been more proud of you, Julian. She had no intention of involving you. What made you do that, Julian?"

" I don’t know."

" I have to say that I’m curious…how did you meet Eve Russell?"

" It was a lifetime ago, Sheridan. Sometimes, you just meet people. "

" She wasn’t like the others, was she?"

" No. Eve’s not like anyone else I’ve ever known. "

" And…you don’t want to discuss her with me. "

" Not really. It’s a very private part of my life. One of the few things in my life that has been my own business."

" You didn’t share it with Father?"

" No. He knew about it, of course, but, I didn’t tell him. It was just.."

" Father. He knew everything."

Julian laughed. " Did you ever figure out how he did it?"

Sheridan punched him in the arm. " Me? YOU were his right hand..I’m clueless."

" I never figured it out."

" Julian, say Chad came to you tomorrow…what would you say to him?"

" Honestly? I don’t know, which is why I’m thankful that he hasn’t been here. What can I say? I’m sure the sight of me makes him sick, and I can’t argue that away. "

" Do you WANT a relationship with him?"

Julian thought about it, and quietly responded, " I’d like to try."

" That’s something. You know, if you want my help with Chad, I’m willing."

" Why? Why would you care about me and Chad, Sheridan?"

" Julian, we don’t have much family. And, after Cameron, I would think that you would consider Chad a second chance. Not many of those are given, Julian."

" I know."

" Plus, before I knew he was a Crane, I already liked Chad. I adore my nephew Ethan, so why not have another one?"

" Practical."

" Very. Julian, I know what Father did to Chad."

" I don’t want to talk about THAT, Sheridan.", Julian says, getting up off the couch in a huff and going to stand in front of the window.

" Ok…I won’t push. Julian, I think it’s possible Chad needs you as much as you need him."

" Who said I needed him?"

" Nobody, Julian! I’m crazy thinking that you’d want someone else to love!"

Julian turns around. " You certainly are in a mood."

" Only because talking to you is almost as exhausting as talking with Luis."

Julian groaned at the mention of Luis. " Please. We were doing so well. No Luis talk."

" Ok, ok…no Luis talk. "

" What are you doing this weekend?", Julian asked, hoping to change the subject.

" Funny you should ask…I’ve got some good plans…HEY! Why don’t you join me, it would be great…..oh…sorry."

" What?"

" You wouldn’t like what I’m doing. "

" Try me."

" I’m going to Kentucky to a couple of horse auctions. But, I’d forgotten, you hate horses."

" Yes, I hate horses."

" Except to bet on them.", Sheridan says with a growing smile on her face.

" What is that smile for?"

" Remembering the time you introduced me to Churchill Downs."

" The Derby. "

" Yes. I was TWELVE, and, you took pity on me. I was so sad and lonely, so, you wanted to show me a good time."

" And, so, off we went."

" Yes, to the Kentucky Derby. I didn’t have anything to wear, so, your secretary of the moment, got me an outfit. She wasn’t hired for her secretarial skills, Julian. A good secretary should be able to buy a good outfit for a kid."

" I don’t remember her name.."

" Judy"

" Judy. But, her talents were in ‘other’ areas."

" So, I guessed. There I was, in an awful garish hat, even for The Derby, and that tacky outfit. You let me bet on whatever horse I wanted. $200 a horse. And, in between bets, there I was, eating southern delicacies and drinking Mint Julips."

" Ah…the ultimate southern drink."

" I know. I had a great time. Betting and drinking."

Julian sighed. " Yes, add cigars, and it’s one of the best times possible. So decadent. "

" Yes. And, I was ok…until we got home."

" Oh, yes."

" I had been feeling ill all the planeride home. But, it was ok."

" Until the bourbon set in. I told you not to drink the bourbon."

" Oh, shut up. "

" We were quite a pair.", Julian chuckles. " Both of us, drunk out of our minds. The only clear point I had in my head was to get you to bed before Father saw us."

" But, we didn’t make it. "

" No. Father was waiting for us at the back door. We were SO busted."

" And then…"

" Yes. You capped off the perfect day by vomiting all over Father. "

Sheridan began to laugh hysterically. She stood up straight, and did her best Alistair impersonation.  " JULIAN! SHERIDAN! Where have you been and what is going on here?!"

Julian did the response, imitating Sheridan vomiting all over Alistair. They both nearly collapsed in laughter.

" I don’t think I’ve ever seen Father so shocked in his life. And, the best part, is that it just kept coming. Wasn’t just a one-time ‘puke’ as the kids say."

" No, I kept going on and on. But, there he was, the great Alistair Crane, standing there, completely furious, with vomit all over him. Father was stunned, he couldn’t say anything. I thought he was going to explode. But, before he could say anything, you swept me up in your arms, took me upstairs, gave me a couple of aspirin , and made me drink 2 glasses of water, and changed me into my nightgown. You put me to bed, made sure that the wastebasket was next to me. I remember you calling me a ‘Champ’ before you kissed me and left the room."

" I did all that? I don’t remember."

" I remember everything about that day. It was one of the best times in my childhood."

" Puking on Father?"

" Spending time with my big brother."

" Father let us have it the next day."

" I think I was grounded for several months."

" He gave me menial tasks, and made me work in the Crane Cannery for a month." Julian shivers. " I can still smell the fish guts."

Sheridan got up and started towards the door. " I’ll be on my way, and won’t bother you anymore."

" This wasn’t a bother."

" Goodnight, Julian."

" Goodnight, Sheridan."