{Past, Daydreaming}

“Momma and Daddy are not going to support this stupid dream of yours and you know it.”

“I don’t care what Momma or your father think. One day I will make it big, you all just wait and see.”

Three months earlier

Dr. Eve Russell was sitting at her desk at Harmony Memorial Hospital attempting to get some paperwork done after a long days work but to no avail. No matter how hard she tried to get the work done, her mind drifted elsewhere. To a time where everything was so hard and too painful to ever speak about again. A time that she has tried her damnedest to forget about for the past twenty plus years, but secrets have a way of coming out and hers were coming out in the worse possible way by the worse possible person.

‘Damn you Liz! Damn you!’ Eve thought silently to herself.

Liz Sanbourne was the person that Eve was talking about. Her younger bitch of a sister was the person that was making her life this very instant a living hell, well…besides Ivy Winthrop and Rebecca Hotchkiss. Anyways, Liz knew all about Eve’s sordid past, a past that not even her husband of the past twenty years T.C. nor her daughters Whitney and Simone knew anything about either. Her past with drugs, alcohol, singing at the Blue Note in Boston, her son and Julian Crane among other things as well. ‘Julian, Julian, Julian.’ Just thinking about Julian made a smile appear upon her face. Eve remembered all of the good times she and Julian had and the love that they once shared. And just as fast as that smile appeared on her face, a frown instantly appeared. If T.C. ever found out that she and Julian were lovers and had a son together, it would be disastrous. And on top of that, having Ivy Winthrop, Julian’s ex-wife and his current whatever you call her Rebecca, blackmailing her about her past as well was causing her more severe migraines and a lot more stress to go along with it.

Just thinking about how much her life was out of her hands was giving her a migraine right now. She knew that she couldn’t get any work done feeling like this anyways, so she threw her pen down on the desk, closed her eyes and rested her hands on her temples to try and release some of the tension that this migraine was causing her. She was so caught up in the moment that she didn’t even hear the person that just entered into her office and locked the door.

‘God, she’s still as beautiful as the first time that I saw her. Just looking at her right this moment takes my breathe away.’ Julian thought to himself as he looked at Eve. He loved her so much that it pained him to know that he was partly the cause of all of the drama that she was going through now. As he watched her, he noticed how tense she looked and decided to speak up at that moment.

“Eve?” Julian called out to her softly as he walked up to the front of her desk.

Hearing someone call her name, Eve suddenly opened up her eyes and a smile instantly spread across her lips when she saw who it was that just called her.

“Julian. It’s nice to see you.”

“Eve darling, what’s the matter? You looked tense a moment ago.” Julian asked in a concerned voice.

“Nothing really. I just have a headache that’s all. So, how was your day?” Eve said changing the subject very quickly.

“The same as always I’m afraid. Still trying to get Rebecca out of my life as fast as possible. Blackmailing sl*t.” Julian answered with a somber smile on his face. Then his somber smile disappeared just as fast as it appeared when he continued on.

“And father, the evil bastard. I’ve never asked him for much, I just want to know where our son is Eve. That’s all that I’ve ever wanted for you…for us, was to find our son.” He finished bowing his head down.

“Julian…” Eve whispered his name as she got up from behind her desk, forgetting her painful migraine and walked over to where he was standing and wrapped her arms around him placing her head on his shoulder. She knew that Julian was suffering just as much as she was with wanting to know where their son was.

“I have faith in you and I know that you will find our son Julian. And with all of this drama that is going on in my life right now, you’re the only person I can really talk to about how I truly feel.” Eve said placing her hand on Julian’s cheek while looking him straight in the eyes.

“You’re my rock Julian, you know that. You just don’t know how much I long to see you everyday, how much I depend on your support.” She said in a trembling voice, and closed her eyes as tears started to fall from them.

Julian was left speechless after hearing Eve’s confession of how much she needed him. Hearing her say this made his heart swell with so much warmth and happiness that he didn’t think it was possible for anyone to love someone as strongly or as passionately as he loved Eve.

Closing the small distance between the two of them, Julian slowly placed his hand on Eve’s face and gently wiped the tears that were slowly running down her face away. The moment she opened her eyes, her breath hitched in her throat at the way Julian was looking at her. She just couldn’t tear her site away from his, and before she knew it she was inching her face closer to his.

Julian watched as Eve’s face inched closer to his. He was trying his best not to let the tears that were forming in his own eyes fall, but with no luck. The moment that the first tear left his eye, he captured her lips in passionate kiss.

Julian pulled Eve as close as he could to his body, not once breaking the contact between their lips. He then slowly traced his tongue across her bottom lip, as if asking to deepen the kiss and she happily obliged. As the two of them kissed, Eve held onto Julian for dear life as her legs started to feel like jelly. The effect that he had on her even after all of these years apart, was evident to Eve that the chemistry between them was still there. Finally breaking the kiss for lack of air, Julian continued to hold Eve close not wanting to let her go just yet, but the silence was broken when Eve’s cell phone started ringing.

“Julian…I have to…” Eve tried to say, but Julian placed his hand over her mouth.

“I know, my love.” Julian said as he captured her lips for a quick kiss before releasing her.

“Hello?”

“Eve, it’s me.” Voice on the other end of the phone said.

“T.C. now is not a really good time to talk right now.” Eve said in a soft voice.

“Well then, you’re just going to have to make time aren’t you?” T.C. stated in the tone of voice that Eve had been hearing for the past two weeks now.

Eve not wanting to get into an argument over the phone with T.C. while having Julian standing right next to her, reluctantly agreed to talk to him.

“Okay, T.C., I’m listening.” She said placing her hand into Julian’s.

“How long did you think you could keep secrets from me Eve? Did you think that I wouldn’t find out about your past life with him?” T.C. yelled through the phone at Eve.

As the realization of what T.C. just shouted at her rang through her ears, everything around Eve just seemed to stop. The color from her face drained from caramel colored to off white. Her breathing became shallow and it looked like she was about to pass out as her legs started to give out, but lucky for her Julian saw this and pulled her even closer against his body as he could to keep her from falling.

Julian wanted to ask her what T.C. had just said to her, but he also didn’t want T.C. to know that he was with Eve this moment. The way her face lost its color right then made his heart drop into his stomach. He didn’t know what to do. So, he did his best to comfort Eve and not let T.C. know.

And after being out of it for what seemed like minutes (but in reality a few seconds), Eve tried her best to recover what little strength she had left. She didn’t know what to say or what to do. Finally, after trying to calm down her nerves, she decided to say something with her voice trembling.

“T.C., I…I…I don’t know what to say.” She spoke as best as she could.

“Is that all you can say Eve?” T.C. said sarcastically. “I want you home in fifteen minutes and if you’re not home by then, I’m coming to get you.” He said in a menacing voice as he hung up.

Eve fought her hardest not to let the tears that were forming in her eyes to fall, but her hardest wasn’t good enough as a waterfall of tears started streaming down her face and a loud sob came soon after.

“Eve…” Julian called to her. He had never seen her so broken down like this before. Then he realized that this is probably what she must have felt like when he left her and she found out that the son they created had “died”.

‘Oh dear god, Eve! I didn’t know.’ Julian thought frantically. He just wanted to die right this moment. But this wasn’t about him, it was about the love of his life and he had to help her get through this.

“Eve, what did he say? Please Eve, answer me.” Julian begged Eve in a pleading voice as he shook her a little to get her to look up at him.

“Julian he knows.” Was all Eve could get out as she starting sobbing again. “It’s all over, my family. Oh God, Julian what am I going to do now?” She said quietly as her loud sobbing became a silent one.

“No Eve, it’s not over. He only knows what Liz has told him. He doesn’t know your side of it.” Julian tried to tell her, but Eve wasn’t listening.

“It doesn’t matter Julian. No matter what I say he is only going to believe her. I have to go.” Eve said as she pulled away from him.

“Go where?” he asked in a confused voice.

“Home. He said if I was not home in fifteen minutes he would come and get me. I can’t let him come here to my place of work and make a scene. No, he has the right to face me.” Eve said.

“Then I’m coming with you. You and I both know the kind of temper that T.C. has. I will not let him hurt you. All of this is my fault Eve. He should blame me not you for any of it.” Julian stated as he tried to follow her, but Eve stopped him.

“No Julian. You didn’t make me do anything that I didn’t willingly want to do. And you coming with me will only make the situation worse. I have to do this on my own.” Eve said as she stepped away and went into her closet to get her jacket and purse. As she closed her closet door, she turned and looked Julian dead in the eyes.

The way that she looked at him, Julian knew that something else wasn’t quite right with Eve. And before he could ask her, she said something to him that has haunted him ever since.

“You know Julian, before you came into my life, I never had any idea how my life was going to turn out. All I know is that I wanted to become a famous singer, to prove to my parents that I was worthy of being loved, just like they loved Liz. I waited for my big break…but it never came.” Eve paused before she continued. “No matter what I did, it was never good enough for them. My stepfather told me that I would never be anything because all I was good enough for was a cheap thrill. That no one would ever love me. Then I met you and you changed my life.” Eve said as she turned back towards the door and stopped in the doorway.

“I gave you every part of me, all that I was. And when I found out I was pregnant, I thought to myself ‘Eve, you have everything you’ve always wanted in life, a baby and a man who loves you’ and before I knew it, you were gone and our son was ‘dead’. Then the words that my stepfather said to me just seemed to ring true. And I had nothing again…” she said as her voice drifted into silence.

“Eve, you were never a cheap thrill to me and not a day went by that I didn’t think about you or our son. I am so, so sorry that I hurt you the way that I did. I should have stood up to my father, but I didn’t and because of that I failed the both of you. I destroyed your life…” Julian said as he broke down on his knees. “God I am so sorry Eve.”

“But that’s all in the past now Julian. I forgave you for what you did to me back then. All that matters is you’re here for me now. And for that I am grateful.”

“Eve, I…” Julian tried to speak but Eve held up her hand to stop him.

“Julian, I know. I love you too. I always have and I always will. Always remember that.” Eve said with a somber smile etched on her face as she left to face her husband.

That was the last time that Julian saw the Eve that he loved so much. She told him not to come after her, but he didn’t listen. He had a gut feeling that if he didn’t follow her, something bad would happen. He wasn’t going to let her face the wrath of T.C. and Liz alone. He was going to be there for her because he owed her that much.

No sooner had Julian left to follow Eve to the Russell home, did his worst fears come true.