Collision Course, Chapter 34
 
 

Penny and Julian were playing checkers. She had won for the third time in a row.

" Daddy, what's wrong with you? You never lose."

" Sweetheart, couldn't it be that you're getting better?"

Penny shook her head. " Nice try, Daddy, but, no deal. I know how good I am…and I know how good you are. You're not even losing to me on purpose. You're simply not here."

" Darling, I just have some things on my mind."

" Grownup things?"

Julian smiled at his daughter. " Yes, grownup things."

" I want you to know that even though I'm a kid, I understand a lot."

" Of course you do. You're brilliant. I'm so glad you're here, Penny. I've missed you."

" You have, Daddy?"

" Yes. "

" Then why did you let Mommy send me away?"

Julian looked at his daughter. He realized for the first time how hurt she was by all of it.

" Because, I've never been good at trusting my feelings. I never thought I was smart enough to have serious feelings. And, because I would never get the award for Parent of the Year."

" You would by me."

" Well, you would be a small committee of one. Your mother said you needed to go away. I thought she knew best. I thought you would be better off away from me."

" Daddy, how could you think that? How could you, considering how much I love you?"

Julian's heart ached to hear his daughter's words. " Not many people have admitted they love me. I'm not used to it."

" Well, you better get used to it, because I love you, Daddy. So much."

" I'm pretty crazy about you too."

" Daddy….when I get better, I don't want to go back to Switzerland."

Penny was laying down the gauntlet. All Crane children had gone away. It was tradition. But, she didn't want to go. Julian looked at his daughter. It ached him to see her face, so honest and trusting where he was concerned. She loved him, and didn't want to leave the family. This was perfectly normal in 99.99% of the homes in the world. But, not this one.

Julian began to think about the choices he's made in his life. It's all that he had been on his mind for days since Eve's confession to him. IF he had made just a couple of different choices back then, how different would his life be? How different would Chad's life be? He wondered why this all happened. Shouldn't he learn from his mistakes. He nodded to himself. Yes, he should. He should learn from all the other heartache caused to his children. Why must Penny continue in this cycle. Alistair and Ivy be damned. He was going to make a decision.

" You know what, Princess? You don't have to. You'll live right here, with your mother and I."

Penny's face lit up. " You mean it, Daddy?"

" Absolutely. I'll never allow anyone to send you away. Never."

Penny smiled from ear to ear. " Daddy, if I could walk, I would run over there and jump in your lap and throw my arms around you and give you the biggest kiss in the world."

Julian got up from his seat and went over to Penny. " Well, I'll take the kiss."

Penny kissed Julian as he leaned into her wheelchair. Ivy came in on the scene.

" Darling, what did Daddy do to deserve such affection?"

" Daddy said that I don't have to go back to Switzerland. That I can live here with both of you!"

Ivy looked at Julian, and saw the resolve in his eyes. She then remembered what she had told herself- she was going to do things differently.

" I think your father is right."

It was Julian's turn to have his mouth hanging open.
 

" That was a good movie, Chad.", Theresa said, as they walked in the park.

" Yeah, it was funny. I needed funny."

Chad bought them hot chocolate, and they sat on the park bench.

" So, how have things been going, Theresa?"

" Well, I've been trying to find a job."

" A job?"

" Yes, gainful employment to help out my family? Now that the job of Mrs. Ethan Crane is filled."

" Theresa…"

" No, Chad. I realized, as I filled out all those applications, just how pathetic I was. Here I was, eighteen years old, and thought that my entire future was settled because I was going to marry some guy."

" You were in love."

" I was pathetic. Now, I'm finally in the real world, and real world Theresa needs a job to help out her family."

" What about school?"

" Well, I'm going to go part-time. I need work."

" Did you find anything?"

" Actually, the one job that I really want is in the stockroom at the boutique on Main Street. I know it's only stock, but, I want to move up, and learn about clothing, and how to sell it. For when I have my own designs."

" So…you do have a plan."

" I have always been interested in design. I want to do it. And, why shouldn't I do it?"

" No reason."

" I finally have a goal for myself, and I know what I want to do. I just have to work on it."

" I hear ya on that. When Coach Russell offered to pay for college, things began to make sense. I made a lot of mistakes when I was trying to break into the music business. I don't intend to make them again. I made the mistake of thinking it was the MUSIC business. When, in fact, it's the music BUSINESS. I know my music. I trust my music. It's the business end that messed me up. I'm going to be so prepared when I take my next shot in the business that nobody will be able to stop me or sucker me. I never want to be anyone's fool ever again."

" You won't Chad. I know you won't. So…..how are things at the Russells?"

" Actually, things have been going good. Coach doesn't know about me, so his interactions with me have been terrific. Whitney, though cool to me, has actually been better. It isn't nasty or anything. I like that. Simone…we're well on our way to being 'cool' with one another. I can tell she's thawing towards me."

" And, you mother?"

Chad shakes his head. " Theresa, it's still too deep for me to grasp. She's my mother. But, I don't think of her that way. I can't do it. It's so hard."

Theresa takes Chad's hand. " Chad, Dr. Russell is terrific. I know she loves you."

" Theresa, I don't doubt she loves me. I'm just tellin' you that the woman isn't my mother yet. I'm so scared…"

" Why?"

" Because I'm worried I'll never feel that way towards her."

" You're just scared. You're scared of opening your heart to her love. You've never had a mother's love before, Chad. It's foreign to you. I know in order for you to survive, you had to be tough. You had to toughen your heart and protect yourself. In accepting Dr. Russell as your mother, you're asking yourself to break down all those barriers. Let down all those walls. You can do it, Chad. If you do, you won't regret it."

" I won't?"

Theresa shakes her head. " There's nothing like being loved by your mother. I think the safest place in the world is in a mother's arms. There's something about the hug. Something about the feeling that comes over you that you can't shake. It's not possible. "

" Theresa.", Chad said,  his voice, barely above a whisper, " Do you really think she loves ME that way?"

Theresa realized for the first time that Chad didn't actually comprehend that Dr. Russell loved him like she loved Simone and Whitney. Not really.

" Oh Chad. She TOTALLY loves you that way. I have no doubt."

" I……I don't know if I believe that."

" You can. You can trust it, Chad. All those feelings you've bottled up. You can release them. You can trust her with them. You know…if you want her to prove it by telling the world, she will, you know."

" NO! ……I meant it when I said I'm not having her throw her life away for me. It makes no sense. "

" Makes all the sense in the world to her. Chad…..why don't you have a heart to heart with her. Tell her your fears. Hug your mother, Chad. Really hug her and see how it goes."

Chad smiles softly. " How did I get lucky enough to have you as a friend?"

" We both lucked out."