More Than That - Chapter 30: Bitter Truth (Gwen/Luis)
 by Jamie Witter
 
 

Chapter 30: Bitter Truth

Truth is too big a price to pay for the luxury of avoiding a little pain.
-- Vanna Bonta

“God works in mysterious ways, doesn’t he?” Jonathan Hotchkiss said to his daughter as he watched her run around her apartment, looking for her missing earring. Gwen was getting ready for Hank and Beth’s wedding, frantically. She stopped at her father’s words and raised an eyebrow, questioningly. “Here I am, someone who has lived well for over sixty years and I am getting a second chance at life. And Sheridan, a woman in the prime of her life and she has such a short time to live…”

Gwen nodded slowly and whispered. “Hardly seems fair.”

Jonathan reached for his daughter’s hand and pulled her towards him on the couch. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m trying to block out that ugly word – death,” she admitted with a small smile. “And I’m trying to focus on spending time with my best friend and making her happy.”

“And that means giving up on the man you love?” Jonathan said and kissed the top of her head.

She looked at him wide eyed. “How did you find out about it?”

“I’m your father, Gwendolyn,” he joked and smoothed his hand over her hair as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I know everything. Do you really love this Luis character?”

Gwen closed her eyes and let out a sigh. “Yes, I do. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Daddy. Not even Ethan. It’s like I didn’t even know that love – this kind of love existed until him. What I felt for Ethan seems like a teenage crush.”

Jonathan chuckled. “You were a teenager when you first met him, darling. So tell me again, why are you not in a relationship with Luis?”

“Because it’s complicated,” Gwen answered hesitantly. “I don’t even know if he loves me. I mean, I know he cares a lot but there’s Sheridan. They had a great relationship. A great love and I think they need to figure things out. I can’t waltz in there and claim him as mine. I’m not Theresa.”

Her father smiled at her dryly. “So you’re going to keep this love all bottled up inside of you, jump headlong into your work and end up in the hospital with something worse than a peptic ulcer?”

“That was the plan,” Gwen looked up at him with a wry smile. “All of that except landing in the hospital. I’ll take care of myself. Promise. I’ve already learnt the hard way that no man is worth making myself sick over.”

Jonathan kissed her forehead and then lifted her chin up with his forefinger. “Is this man worth any pain at all, Gwendolyn?” She thought about everything that had happened between Boston and until she terminated her relationship with Luis and then nodded slowly. Her father gave her a meaningful look. “Then don’t you think that maybe you shouldn’t see this halfway through? If you love him, don’t you think it’s worth finding out how he feels about you? Talk to him and if there’s a future, talk to Sheridan. I’m sure that she wouldn’t grudge you your happiness. The one you deserve.”

For a minute Gwen was tempted. She envisioned what it would be like if Sheridan found out and gave them her blessings.

“I love you, Gwen. So much.” Luis would say, smile and then sweep her in his arms, for a passionate kiss.

But then reality came crashing back – and she imagined the flip side of the coin. Luis telling her that though he cared about her, he loved Sheridan and he wanted to spend her last days her. He couldn’t love her like he loved Sheridan and she’d end being the one person swore she never wanted to be again – the other woman.

She closed her eyes, forcing back tears as something hot rose in her throat and something held her heart in a vice. “It’s better this way, Daddy. This way no one gets hurt.”

“The easy way, huh?” Jonathan asked knowingly.

She looked at him, imploringly. “Is that so wrong?”

He cupped her cheek and looked at her tenderly. “No, darling, there is nothing wrong with that. I just don’t want you to miss out on a chance at love. Just think about it, okay? I know you’re trying to protect Sheridan’s feelings and your own heart – but if you never try, you’ll never know.”

Gwen reached up and kissed her father’s cheek. “I’ll think about it. Thank you, Daddy.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Luis stood in front of the fireplace in his childhood home and picked up a frame off the mantle. It was the one he’d taken with Sheridan at Ethan and Theresa’s engagement party. They were happy – glowing in fact, as they smiled for the camera. He remembered how he couldn’t wait for the photo-fest and the party to end so that he could take Sheridan back to her cottage and make love with her. He remembered how much he loved her.

And now he was confused.

It wasn’t like he didn’t love Sheridan anymore. There was a part of him that he knew would love her forever. But there was an even bigger part of him that felt something strong and powerful for Gwen. And he didn’t even know that part existed until Gwen decided to let him go.

“Hey Luis,” Charity said from behind him and he turned around, smiling at her. She gestured in the air and smiled. “It looks like we’re the only ones left. Do you need a ride to the church?”

He had his police cruiser, but just then he didn’t feel like being alone. “Yeah, that would be great, Charity.”

The two of them got into the car and as she put her key in the ignition, she turned to him with a curious smile. “You seem tense. Something wrong?”

“I’m a little nervous about my speech,” Luis lied with an easy smile.

Charity gave him a you-can’t-fool-me look as she turned onto the main road. “Luis, I’ve known you for years. You’re worse than Miguel when it comes to brooding. And you also know that I love helping if I can, so spill.”

Luis laughed and then rubbed his temples, knowing that while Charity was chaste and shy, she could be as stubborn he could. He leaned back against the headrest and let out a tired sigh. “I’m just emotionally drained.”

She gave him an understanding, sympathetic smile. “I know it’s hard. I am so sorry for what you’re going through with Sheridan…and Gwen.”

He smiled bitterly. “And Gwen.”

“Free advice?”

He grinned. “Do I have a choice?”

“Talk to Gwen,” Charity answered as stopped at an intersection. “Tell her how you feel and then tell Sheridan. I know you may think knowing the truth could hurt her, but not knowing is potentially worse.”

“It’s over between Gwen and me,” Luis reiterated for what seemed like the millionth time for him. “What’s the point of putting Sheridan through anything at all?”

Charity pursed her lips and pondered. “Remember when Miguel and I broke up two years ago? And I kept telling him that I was doing it because I hurt him too much being with him? And I was leaving him because I loved him?”

“Yeah,” he answered slowly not knowing where she was going with the example.

“That was bullsh*t,” she explained calmly and he burst out laughing at her unusual, uncharacteristic choice of words. “Keeping someone who you love and who loves you in return from the truth can be the worse mistake you ever make. Even if it is the bitter truth.” Charity pulled into the church parking lot, found a parking space and then turned to him, placing her hand on his. “Sheridan’s dying, Luis. She doesn’t need you to keep things from her now – no matter how noble your intentions.”

He absorbed everything she said and then lifted their joined hands to his lips, and placed a small kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you, Charity.”

She smiled at him warmly. “You’re welcome.”

They made their way into the church and Charity immediately headed for the room in the back, where Beth was getting ready. Luis quickly spotted Hank and slapped him on the back. The other man turned around and let out a relieved sigh. “Man, I thought you’d never get here!”

“You nervous?” Luis asked with a grin. “Hanky, you’re getting married! Who would’ve thought that you’d get hitched before I did?” After a minute of deliberation, he added, “Whoever thought you’d get hitched at all?”

“Shut up, Luis,” Hank retorted. “You’re supposed to be supporting me!”

“Don’t listen to him bro,” Sam said as he came up from behind the two men. “He’s just trying to psych you out. Marriage can be a blessing if you find the right woman.”

Hank smiled broadly. “Beth is definitely the right woman.”

“He is so whipped,” Luis shook his head in amusement. “I never thought I’d live to see the day Hank Bennett would settle down. But seriously, if I haven’t said this before – you won’t find anyone better for you than Beth Wallace.”

“Tell me about it,” Hank agreed and then went off to make sure the rings were secure.

Sam headed off to find his wife and Luis scanned the small crowd of friends and family that were waiting for the ceremony to begin. He waved at his mother and then prepared for a confrontation when Theresa made her way to him. He still hadn’t forgiven her for chewing Gwen out at the hospital and she had yet to apologize. He looked at his sister, who gave him a small smile. “Hey.”

“Hello,” he answered smoothly, pocketing his hands.

“So you’re gonna walk down the aisle with Sheridan, right?” she asked casually.

He rolled his eyes. “Theresa, don’t start on me.”

“I just want to make sure that you know that everyone expected you do walk down the aisle with her a long time ago – as the bride and groom.”

“Yeah, well, things change.”

“You think that because you slept with Gwen it changed how you feel about Sheridan?”

Luis had to control the urge to curse at his younger sister in church. Instead, he let out another tired sigh and fixed her with a level stare. “Mind your own business, Theresa.”

He walked away from her before she could say anything and headed for the backroom, to wish Beth good luck. On his way, he met Sheridan who was dressed in a pale lavender bridesmaid dress, talking excitedly to Ivy. When Luis approached, the older woman excused herself and left the two of them alone. He smiled at her with appreciation. “You look beautiful.”

She smiled back. “You still fill out that tux nicely.”

He took her hand in his and locked gazes. Suddenly, what Charity had told him to do was making sense as he looked into her trusting, almost misty blue eyes and he found himself looking at the Sheridan he had fallen in love with. Unexpectedly, he wanted to tell her everything that had happened with Gwen and how confused he was about his feelings for both women. “Sheridan, I need to tell you something.”

“It sounds serious,” she said, immediately picking up that up from his tone.

“I know this might not be the most idea time,” he said with a nervous laugh. “But things have happened to me and I’m not the same person I was when we were…together. And now it’s like you’re back in my life and I’m going to lose – God, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”

“That makes two of us,” she returned with a smile. “If this is about the other day in the hospital. I am sorry I snapped at you. I didn’t mean to. I just got a little crazy and - ”

“Gwen told me how you felt about our break-up,” he interrupted with a sheepish smile.

“She did, huh?” Sheridan returned with a teasing grin. “Wow, since when do you and Gwen talk so much?”

Luis swallowed the guilty lump. “Actually, Gwen and I have been talking a lot lately.”

Sheridan looked surprised. “Really? I didn’t think she was your favorite person. Not that I’m not glad you guys are friends and everything but I just…she just came home. What have you two been talking about?”

“Well mostly - ” he started out but couldn’t finish his sentence because he was cut off.

“Mostly you,” Gwen interrupted from the doorway, a tight smile on her face as she looked between the two of them. She stepped closer, fixing Luis with an even gaze. “When you told me about your illness, I knew that he deserved to know. That he’d want to be by your side.”

Holding Gwen’s gaze, he managed to keep an equally even tone. “I do want to be by her side.”

“Good,” she answered with a brighter smile. “I did the right thing. Sheridan, Beth says she needs to see you.”

“Okay,” Sheridan answered and patted Luis on the hand. “Excuse me. I am the maid of honor after all. I have duties.”

Luis chuckled. “By all means.”

When she was gone, Gwen turned o him her face expressionless but the pleading tone in her voice completely clear. “Don’t say anything, Luis. It’s not worth it.”

Before he could counter that, she was walking away from him again. He sighed, closed his eyes and let out a small, frustrated groan. “Apparently it isn’t.”