More Than That - Chapter 31: Life Lessons (Gwen/Luis)
by Jamie Witter
 
 
 

Chapter 31: Life Lessons

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn.
-- Alanis Morissette
 
 

Gwen had been staring at the food on her plate for the past five minutes when the tinkling sound of a fork hitting the rim of a glass caught Gwen’s attention and she looked up to see Luis standing near Hank at the head table, a champagne glass in his hand, poised and ready to make his speech. She couldn’t help but smile at the warmth in his eyes and laughter playing around the corners of his mouth as he cleared his throat. The last few weeks had been tough on him and it made her happy to see him smile. “I’m not really good with speeches and it’s the first time I’m speaking as a best man so bear with me.”

“We have been, buddy,” Hank quipped loudly. “For a long time now.”

The guests erupted with laughter as Beth poked her new husband in the ribs. Luis gave his best friend a withering stare and then smiled again. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’ve known Beth and Hank my whole life and I’ve never known them to be as happy as they are when they are together. And being my best friends they are privy to a lot of the sordid details of my life and have always been there for me when things got too tough. I only hope that I have been half as wonderful to them as they have to me because in my life and in my heart, they are irreplaceable. They’ve taught me a lot about life and love without knowing it and today, they made me realize something else.”

Gwen took in a deep breath when his eyes flitted over to where she was sitting and their gazes locked. She clenched her hands together in anticipation as she saw the emotion in his eyes and heard the sincerity in his voice. “As sappy and clichéd as it may sound, when you have a love that feels as strong as theirs, as right as theirs, as meant to be as theirs, you don’t let it go. They’ve taught me that love isn’t about fairytales and perfect endings but about two people who can spend the rest of their lives together and know that above everything else, they can make it work no matter what comes in their way. And that’s one thing these two have down pat. So what I am trying to say is that I love you guys and wish you all the best. To Beth and Hank.”

“To Beth and Hank.” Everyone raised their glasses and then clapped loudly for Luis’ heart-warming speech.

Gwen watched from her seat as Luis leaned in to kiss Beth on the cheek and slap Hank’s back playfully. The soft beat of JoDee Messina’s “Because You Love Me” floated across the reception hall and the DJ announced that it was time for the newlyweds first dance as husband and wife. Gwen watched as the groom led the bride to the middle of the dance floor and instantly the two lost themselves in the song and the simple pleasure of being in each other’s arms, knowing that they would be there for life.

“They’re sickening,” Jacob whispered to her from beside her.

She laughed softly and placed a hand on his shoulder. “They’re beautiful together. You’ve always been a sore loser. Just because you didn’t get Beth the way you wanted her, you could always try and be her friend. God didn’t put women on this planet for you to have sex with them.”

He grumbled something incomprehensible and then studied her with a serious expression. “How are you holding up?”

Gwen’s eyes flitted over to Sheridan and Luis who were following tradition and dancing together as the best man and maid of honor. She sighed and forced a smile to her face even though she knew that to her brother, she was belying nothing. “I’m good. After all, I am in the presence of true love.”

It was Jacob’s turn to put his hand on her shoulder in reassurance. “Would you like to dance, darling?”

“Yes,” she replied gratefully. “I would love to.”

As the joined the increasing number of couples on the dance floor, Gwen caught Luis’ gaze on her and managed a small, friendly smile. He grinned slightly and then looked away, saying something to Sheridan that made her giggle. Feeling jealous and guilty at the same time, Gwen turned away and fought the urge to run away.

When Gwen had interrupted Luis before the wedding, she had been sure that he was planning on telling Sheridan everything about his relationship with her and although a part of her was ready and willing to have everything out in the open, fear gripped her senses and the ramifications of said confession came rushing back to her. As much as she wanted to believe in her fantasy of Sheridan giving the two of them her blessing, she knew that in real life things never went the way she wished and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to lose the best friend she ever had.

In the real world, she somehow managed to end up the bad guy. And she couldn’t betray Sheridan’s trust by professing her love for a man that didn’t love her back. She wouldn’t give Sheridan the heartache and she wouldn’t let anyone else, namely Theresa, get the satisfaction of knowing that once again, Gwen Hotchkiss didn’t get her man.

“Hey, are you thinking again?” Jacob scolded playfully. “I thought we agreed on happy thoughts to day for the sake of the bride and groom.”

“Oh please,” Gwen teased. “As if you had any intention of being happy for Hank.”

“Well of course not,” Jacob grinned. “But I wouldn’t rain on Beth’s happy day.”

Gwen pulled back and gazed into her brother’s eyes. “You really care for her don’t you?”

When he squirmed nervously, she got her answer. She let out an excited squeal and kissed his cheek. “You do have a heart, Jake! I knew that you did. Now all we need is to find you a nice girl that you can become committed too.”

“Whoa, who said anything about a bloody commitment?”

Gwen made a disgusted face. “You’re such a guy.”

“Thank you,” he grinned and then kissed the top of her head. “What Luis said about those friends of his teaching him valuable life lessons, really got to me…I mean, I guess I’ve never had a real friend before – let alone one that was a woman but with Beth, everything seems so simple. I mean of course she’s sexy and if she weren’t with Hank I would have tried harder to get her attention, but somehow I’m glad that we’re friends too. Content, even.”

“Well don’t look now, Jake, but you’re growing up.”

She twirled her around to the music and let out a chuckle. “Well ain’t that grand?”

Gwen laughed and looked over his shoulder at Luis and Sheridan again and sighed. “Lovers come and go but true friends last you a lifetime. And if you haven’t learned how to be a good friend, then you haven’t learned much.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

“Hey there,” Sheridan greeted Luis outside the reception hall, a little later. She had danced her feet off with everyone she knew and then had gone in search of Luis, only to find him taking a breather himself.

He turned around and smiled. “Hey yourself. Well you surely looked all danced out.”

She grimaced and reached down to take off her shoes. “If I ever dance again, it will be too soon.” He laughed as she leaned against the railing. She looked up at the stars, sighing wistfully. “I’m gonna miss seeing those.”

He swallowed hard and managed a warm smile. “You’re going to be among them.”

“Thank you,” she returned sincerely, placing her hand on his. “For being here with me. For making these past few days so utterly…complete for me. I realized how much I needed you with me. And how wrong it was for me to keep something like this from you. I didn’t know how much I relied on you until you were gone.”

He turned to her, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Sher, Gwen told me about how you felt. About us, about the break up…what ever gave you the idea that it was your fault that we didn’t work out?”

She sighed, letting all the pain of the past return to her so she could speak truthfully and openly with him. “When you walked out that door Luis, I fell apart. After the anger faded away – I had to deal with the pain and the then figure out the truth. I couldn’t sleep at night because I kept replaying in my mind all our problems and fights, wondering how a love that I thought was forever, so right could have crumbled and ended so quickly that we didn’t know it until it was too late.”

“I used to think the same thing,” he agreed softly.

“One night, I was trying to get a bowl to make myself a salad and it was at the top of the fridge and I couldn’t reach and without realizing it, I called for you. I must’ve said your name about three times until I remembered that you weren’t there. Instead of breaking down into a fit of sobs, I composed myself and got the stepstool. And that’s when it hit me.”

“I don’t follow.” Luis replied confused.

She stood up, imploring him to understand. “My first instinct was to call for you. And I know it was something trivial and it’s normal to ask someone for help but even if you were there, I shouldn’t have had to call you. There was a stepstool. I could have done it for myself. And that’s what ruined our relationship.”

“That you’re not tall enough?” Luis asked incredulously.

“No!” she stated vehemently, not laughing at his attempt at humor. “Because I wasn’t strong enough.”

“What?”

She looked away, tears filling her eyes. “I was never strong enough when it mattered. I never had the guts to stand up to my father or Julian. In boarding school, when the other girls would make fun of me for being so shy and quiet – I couldn’t stand up to them either. I got so used to having people take care of me – I started to want people to take care of me. And every time some guy who ‘took care’ of me and my money and broke my heart, I didn’t know that it was probably my fault for not being strong or smart enough to know what their intentions were.”

“Sheridan, that’s not - ” he tried to say but she turned to him, smiling through tears.

“And then you came a long,” she whispered softly. “I had so many defenses up, Luis. My heart was surrounded by booby traps and gates and you got through all of them. You got to me and for that I loved you. And as soon as I found you, I relied on you. Depended on you. Wanted you to take care of me until death separated us.”

“I wanted to take care of you,” he answered softly, bringing his hand to the side of her face tenderly. “I don’t regret that because if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Then why didn’t it work for us, Luis?” she asked angrily as she stood up. When he didn’t answer, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before meeting his gaze again. “I’ll tell you why. Because you became those other men to me – somehow I ruined it. Every time something got screwed up in my life I ran to you and you made it all better. Not me. Not us. Just you. I was playing the victim and you played my knight.”

“God, I wish everyone would stop ragging me about my hero complex,” he chuckled mirthlessly. “I still don’t get it.”

Sheridan laughed, wiped her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “We thought that love would get us through everything – and somehow we managed to take that love for granted. Luis, when I rushed into the relationship with you, I was just getting over Jean-Luc’s betrayal and I didn’t even know who I was. And once I got sick it was a big fat slap in the face from reality and I started learning things about my life and myself that I never knew before. Looking back, I realized that being so incomplete with myself, I could never have been complete with you. Am I making any sense?”

“Yes, you are,” he answered softly and then took her hands in his looking at her with a warm smile. “But it’s not your fault, Sheridan. Not entirely. We were both in the relationship - we both destroyed it. I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t either.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I just wish that we could some how turn back time and have this conversation back then so we wouldn’t have lost so much precious time.”

“I wish that too,” he replied softly. “So I could have been there for you.”

She threw her arms around him and for a long moment they stood in an embrace filled with warmth and memories. Safe. Comfortable. Full circle.

When they drew apart, she looked at him debating whether or not she should ask the next question. Her illness had given her a courage she had never possessed before and she knew that if she didn’t seize the opportunity than she might never get to do it again. “Luis, is there…I mean, I’m not expecting you…it’s not my business…”

He smirked. “What is it, Sher?”

She met his gaze confidently. “Is there someone else in your life now?”

Before he could open his mouth to say anything, the door behind them opened and Gwen stepped out an apologetic smile on her face. Sheridan turned to her friend curiously as she watched the other woman’s eyes dart nervously to Luis’ face. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“That’s okay,” Luis answered and Sheridan could feel the tension in his body as he stiffened behind her.

Gwen tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hank is looking for you, Luis.”

Sheridan smiled up at him and nodded. “Go perform your duties, best man. I’ll be okay.”

He nodded, looked oddly at Gwen and then brushed past her. Gwen jumped back slightly; looking like she was committing some kind of sin and Sheridan wondered why her friend was so jumpy. Even before the wedding, when Gwen had interrupted what Luis wanted to say to her, Sheridan had felt the same tension pass between the two.

“You okay, Gwen?”

“Wha - ?” she said blinking rapidly. Then she smiled sheepishly. “I’m fine. You wanna come inside? It’s getting chilly.”

“I just need a second. You go ahead.” Once the other woman was one, Sheridan furrowed her brows and crossed her arms over her chest again. “Luis and Gwen. What’s going on with the two of you?”