More Than That - Chapter 32: Honesty (Luis/Gwen)
by Jamie Witter
 
 
 

Chapter 32: Honesty

For every piece of happiness, there's also a piece of unhappiness. If you haven't told both sides, you haven't told the whole story.
-- Dawson’s Creek

Theresa watched from across the reception hall, as Gwen watched talking to the newlyweds, their arms around each other’s waist and a happy smile on their faces. Running her hand over her belly, she waddled over to the woman who had once made her life unbearable and cleared her throat; Gwen turned and then pursed her lips in irritation. She decided to get straight to the point. “You can never be to him what she is, you know that right?”

Gwen’s eyes blazed with controlled anger as she gritted her teeth. “Back off, Theresa. This is a wedding and I’m not going to have it out with you here.”

“No you see, there isn’t ever going to be a time where you’re going to have it out with me, Gwen,” she replied angrily. “Because I will not have you hurting my brother. He might be blinded by lust or something but I know you better than he does.”

“Is that right?” Gwen asked looking more amused now.

Theresa had to curl her fingers to keep from hitting the woman. “Yes, that is right. No matter how you go on about being this nice person…this wonderful person, deep down you’re still a manipulative bitch.”

“And you’d know all about that, huh, Theresa?”

“Don’t go turning the tables on me, Gwen,” she spat back. “You were the one who lied to Ethan. Who knew about his paternity and didn’t tell him.”

“Yes, I was. But I wasn’t the person who scanned the letter into my computer when I thought Ethan was going to leave me. We both kept it from him, Theresa. For our own selfish reasons. At least I’m admitting it. You just batted your lovely eyelashes and Ethan came back to you…you got your Prince Charming. But tell me, is it really the fairytale life you dreamed of?” Gwen shot at her, hands on hips and eyes boring into her challengingly.

Suddenly Theresa had the realization that Gwen knew. She knew about the problems she and Ethan were having and no one but Mama knew about them. Who could have told her? “What are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter, Theresa,” Gwen said with a wave of her hand in dismissal. “I don’t mean to hold that against you.”

“Ethan told you, didn’t he?” she asked torn, angry and hurt. “Yeah right you don’t want to use that against me. This is just the thing you want to shove in Ethan’s face – how I’m not good enough for him.”

“Calm down, Theresa,” Gwen said looking around at some people who were listening in on the conversation. “I told you this isn’t the place. Just mind your own business.”

“My brother is my business,” Theresa answered, tears threatening to surface. And then lowered her voice. “He will never love you, Gwen. Even when Sheridan isn’t here…he won’t ever be with you. And you can never love him either. You need a heart for that.”

Before Gwen could say anything else, Theresa turned away and caught Ethan’s gaze from across the room. She willed back the lump in her throat and then held up her chin walking off in the other direction and quickly exited the building.

Once outside, she closed her eyes and let a tear fall. Gwen isn’t going to ruin my marriage. And she isn’t going to ruin Luis. I won’t let her.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Sheridan turned the key in the lock and pushed the door of her cottage open with a sigh of relief. Gwen laughed as she followed the blonde inside the cottage. Sheridan dropped the keys on the coffee table and ungracefully plopped down on the couch, and Gwen followed doing the same. “Well that was certainly a swinging party.”

“Who ever invented heels should be murdered,” Gwen reached down and took off her shoes and then stopped mid-motion when she remembered how Luis had complained about her stilettos in Boston. She swallowed back a guilty and painful lump in her throat and turned to Sheridan with a half-smile. “You feeling okay?”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Stop pampering me. I agreed to this sleepover because I wanted to spend time with you. Not because I need to be taken care of. God, when will you and Luis lighten up?”

“I’m sorry,” she replied with a shrug and apologetic smile. “Can’t help that I care.”

“No, I guess you can’t. I know you do and it means more to me than anything but tonight, I’d like you to pretend that we’ve gone back in time and I’m nineteen and you’re seventeen and we’re in Europe gossiping about boys and eating ice cream – still oblivious to the important things.” Sheridan explained with a grin.

Gwen’s lips curved. “I’d love to do that.”

An hour later, the two were in their pajamas, curled up near the fire talking about everything that they had been up to over the last year, mundane topics, TV show, songs, literature and the latest high-society gossip.

Then Sheridan turned to Gwen, a serious expression. “I know we were keeping tonight light but I have one question.”

“Shoot,” she replied swooping her hair back.

“You and Theresa seemed to be having a heated conversation at the reception. What was that about?”

Gwen ran a nervous hand through her hair and then chuckled. “You know Theresa. She couldn’t let the past go. And she was letting me know it.”

“We’re best friends, right?” Sheridan asked skeptically.

“Always,” she replied with a wide smile. “Why?”

“I know ever since Ethan broke up with you, I haven’t been as best a friend as I should have. And with my illness and your leaving town…it got in the way of keeping in touch. I know that’s no excuse…”

“Hey, I didn’t call you either.” Gwen reminded her softly. “I just figured you were mad at me or something. Especially after what I did.”

“I forgave you,” Sheridan answered, looking at her earnestly. “As soon as you expressed remorse…actually before you did – I had forgiven you. I knew the place you were coming from. I think that if I was in your situation, I would have done the same.”

“You would never have a kept a secret as big as I did from the man you loved,” Gwen countered. “You wouldn’t have kept a secret at all.”

“Not true,” Sheridan said shaking her head. “I lied to Luis in the beginning, when I was falling in love with him. I didn’t tell him about my nightmares and how I thought I killed Martin. And afterwards, when I got ill, I kept that from him too.”

“But you were broken up!”

“So were you and Ethan,” Sheridan pointed out. “But that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him. I didn’t stop loving, Luis. I don’t think I have yet, either.” Gwen looked away, tears in her eyes, unable to bear the guilt and stare her best friend in the faces. Of course Sheridan still loved Luis. They were meant to be together. How could she ever think she could compare to what they meant to each other? “Gwen?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I trust you to be completely honest with me about my next question?” Feeling a sense of dread but knowing that she couldn’t lie to Sheridan again – about anything else, Gwen simply nodded. “What’s going on with you and Luis?”

That was it. There was the question she had been so daunting, so heart wrenching, so important. The question she needed to answer with complete honesty. Some thing she needed to answer with the hope in heart that Sheridan could one day forgive her.

Sighing heavily, Gwen sat up and hugged her knees to her chest and looked at Sheridan. “About two and a half months ago, right after I had gotten out of the hospital I went to a Police Convention that Hotchkiss Enterprises was sponsoring in Boston. Luis was there - representing Harmony. There was this guy there – he was trying to get me to dance with me and Luis intervened, you know what a hero complex he has.”

“Gwen…”

“Sorry back to the truth,” she stated and took a deep breath. “We got to talking and it was nice. He told me about the two of you and I could sense he was lonely…probably because I was feeling as depressed as he was. Anyway we just danced and he left and I thought I wouldn’t see him again.”

“But you did?”

Gwen looked away again guiltily, knowing the hard part was coming up. “Yeah. I broke the heel of my stiletto and sprained my ankle so he offered to help me get to my room.” At this point, Gwen stood up suddenly feeling like she was going to explode. “And he looked so lost and I was feeling so miserable so I asked him in for champagne and my intention was completely innocent. But not for long.”

When she turned around, Sheridan was also standing – already looking hurt and betrayed. Her blue eyes watering a bit and her mouth was slightly agape. “Oh my…”

She took a step closer and reached for Sheridan hands. “We had a little too much champagne, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed…and we felt so guilty about it.”

Sheridan took her hands out of Gwen’s and stepped back looking at her through expressionless eyes. Her voice came out quivering and made Gwen flinch. “It was just that one time?”

Gwen closed her eyed and tears slipped down her cheeks. “No. When I came back here…we saw each other…we…I didn’t want…”

“Didn’t want me to find out,” Sheridan finished and then ran a shaky hand through her hair. “What did you think I wouldn’t figure it out? All those time! God, when you were late for breakfast with Jade…the man you were sleeping with…when the two of you came to his house…you said it was a flat tire…”

“I didn’t want to lie to you, Sheridan! We broke it off. It’s over! We didn’t want to hurt you!” she pleaded with her.

Sheridan looked up at her angrily. “You should have thought about that before! And that’s how he found out about me being sick. You told him and then you pitied me, didn’t you? You thought you’d let him loose since I was dying!”

“It wasn’t like that! I knew he wanted to be with you! I couldn’t do that to you!” Gwen returned. Crying, she took another step closer and tried to make eye contact with Sheridan. “I know he still loves you. And you love him. So that’s why it’s over.”

“How noble of you, Gwen,” she spat out. “That doesn’t mean that you betrayed me. Lied to me! Slept with the one man – God, the only man that I have ever loved. When are you going to learn?”

“I’m so sorry,” she said desperately, trying to salvage the only friendship she ever cherished. “Please forgive me, Sher. I love you and I don’t want to hurt you. Please say that you forgive me.”

Sheridan turned away and sniffed. “I can’t even look at you, right now. I think it’s best if you leave.”

“Please don’t - ”

“Get out, Gwen.”

Wiping away her tears, Gwen gathered her clothes and purse from the sofa before walking to the door. Feeling her heart break into a million different pieces, she took in a deep breath and then turned at the door to face Sheridan’s back. “I am sorry, Sheridan. I never did mean to hurt you. The road to hell and all of that, I guess. I don’t want our friendship to end like this. I am sorry.”

Once outside, Gwen got into her car and broke down into sobs, mourning the loss of her best friend.