More Than That - Chapter 42: Grab Hold (Gwen/Luis)
by Jamie Witter
 
 

Chapter 42: Grab Hold

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
-- Charles Dubois
 
 

The next day, Luis stared at the stunned expressions his loves ones were wearing upon hearing his announcement. He had the urge to laugh out loud but kept it inside, as he glanced from everyone to his parents sitting in the middle of his parent’s living room, to his brothers, his sister and sister-in-law. He leaned back against the armchair and folded his hands over his stomach. “I’ll give you guys a minute.”

“But this is so sudden,” Pilar said as she grasped her husband’s hand. “So unexpected.”

“Yeah well I seem to do a lot of unexpected things lately,” he replied with a wry smile.

Antonio guffawed. “Tell me about it, man. This is just one more to add to the list.”

“I think it’s wonderful,” Charity chimed in, beaming. “Working for the FBI? Luis, this is a great opportunity for you.”

Miguel put a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “And a big change.”

“Well, I’m not so scared of change anymore,” Luis stated with a shrug. Then he grinned. “Actually, I think that change is the only constant, sure thing in my life right now.”

“Luis, does this have anything to do with Sheridan?” Theresa asked, placing a hand on her belly.

He didn’t even flinch at the mention of her name, but simply smiled at his sister’s perception. “Partly. It’s not like I am running away from memories or from the pain. This feeling…the disillusionment was something that I was feeling when we were together and I didn’t know what caused it or what to do to shake it. Then Hal - ”

“Handed you the answer on a golden platter,” Martin put in with a knowing smile. Luis nodded, as he looked into his eyes, glad that his father understood him completely. “I think it’s wonderful news.”

“You’re sure about this?” his mother asked worriedly.

“I’ve never been surer, Mama.”

Pilar smiled widely, happily. She leaned forward and embraced him, crying and laughing at the same time. “I’ve seen you spend most of your life looking out for others, thinking of others and always sacrificing your happiness for theirs. It only gives me joy to see you living your life, the way it is meant.”

“Thank you,” Luis stated and closed his eyes, knowing that whatever gap had been caused in their relationship by recent events and revelations had been sealed. “It means a lot to have your blessing.”

Pilar pulled away, tears in her eyes as she cupped his face. “You always have. I just don’t know what I am going to do about missing you.”

“Mama…”

“No. I did not mean it to make you feel guilty,” she stated with a loving smile. “Your whole life I have waited, known that one day you’d realize that you are much more than what you had become. That there was something inside you that would somehow want to find a way out.”

“This isn’t a cop out,” he assured her.

“No,” she laughed a little and wiped her eyes. “I never thought it was. As much as you love Harmony, I knew that it would become constricting for you someday.”

“When I returned,” Martin added with a smile of his own, “I knew that it was time for you to find out who you were, lad. It was only a matter of time. Your mother and I discussed in great detail how much we would miss you when you finally decided to leave. And how proud we were of you.”

Luis smiled, keeping his tears at bay and embraced his mother again. “Thank you. I love you.”

“Oh-kay, enough of this mushy stuff,” Miguel joked, earning a stab in the ribs from his wife. “Ow! I only meant that there’s food in the kitchen. Charity made some wonderful snacks.”

The Lopez Fitzgeralds, with the exception of the eldest brothers, headed noisily into the kitchen. Luis looked up at Antonio expectantly. His brother folded his arms over his chest and studied him contemplatively. Then, he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “I wanted to say that I was…I am - ”

“Yeah?” Luis prodded, amused at his older brother’s apparent nervousness.

Antonio sighed. “I’m proud of you. I know it’s been tough for you, your whole life to sacrifice so many things for this family when Papa and I weren’t around. And I didn’t realize until just now, how much that affected you. And I feel responsible for it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He waved him off with a dismissive gesture. “Maybe I could have done something differently. I don’t know. But I do know that I can’t change that part – but I’ve always been proud of you. I wanted to let you know that.”

Luis stood up and hugged his brother. “Thank you. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that from you.”

They pulled apart, laughing awkwardly. Antonio patted him on the back. “The FBI. That’s amazing. You’ve really got your feet planted on this new road. You don’t even look scared.”

“Are you kidding me? Piece of cake,” he joked and pocketed his hands, feeling like Antonio wanted to say something more. “What?”

“What about Gwen?”

He couldn’t say that he wasn’t expecting that from his brother. In fact, he was wondering why Antonio hadn’t mentioned her name when he picked him up earlier at the airport. So, he closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t know. She keeps popping up in my thoughts every minute.”

Every damn minute, he thought painfully. Even Hal had sensed that he was distracted but had only thought it was because of Sheridan’s death.

Antonio lifted a brow. “That’s a sign.”

“Of what? That I’m meant to be with her?” Luis asked exasperated. “That’s what I thought when I was with Beth. Then when I was with Sheridan. How the hell am I supposed to know that this is the one?”

“You’re not,” he replied evenly. “But are you really willing to play the odds? Risk potential happiness because you’re not sure? Because you’re scared?”

“I’m not scared,” he replied half-heartedly.

“Well then you can stand here and wait for the chips to fall where they may and then kick yourself when they didn’t fall where you wanted them to or you can make something happen, take the initiative – like you are with the rest of your life.” Antonio looked at him challengingly. “Whatever you decide to do you better do it quick because time is running out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Gwen is leaving for New York today,” he informed Luis. “She has business – and her own life that she needs to get back on track. At least that’s what Jade says.”

He felt something pull away from him, tug at his heart. She was just leaving like that? Without talking to him, without trying to settle whatever it was between them, without saying goodbye? Did it even matter to her? Apparently not, his conscience chided. Sheridan was mistaken. Gwen doesn’t love you.

“Well, I guess that’s it.”

“Excuse me?” Antonio said, looking angry.

Luis clarified. “She’s just leaving. We’re not on the same page. She apparently has no trouble moving on with her life.”

He was too busy trying to convince himself that he could move on with his life too, that he didn’t see Antonio fist come flying at him until it connected with his jaw and sent him reeling back, a white-hot pain shooting though him. He closed his eyes and saw stars.

He stumbled back half in shock and half in pain and knocked a lamp off of the side table, the shattering sound of ceramic immediately bringing his family out of the kitchen in a rush.

“What the hell?” Miguel swore as everyone gathered in the living room, looking between the two brothers with concern and surprise.

“That’s what I would like to know,” Luis glared at his brother and gingerly touched his sore jaw. “Why’d the hell you punch me, Tony?”

“Mijo!” Pilar reprimanded.

“I’m sorry Mama,” Antonio explained calmly, flexing his fingers. Then he waved a hand in Luis’s direction. “He needed it real bad. Someone had to knock some sense into him before he threw everything away because of that damned pride.”

“What are you talking about?” Theresa asked, looking at him as if he grew horns.

“I’m talking about Gwen and how Luis won’t go and stop her from walking out of his life. I don’t know how he can’t see what’s right in front of his face!” Antonio got into his face and tried to reason with him. “Do you see what you’re throwing away? The woman who means so much to you that you can hardly think straight whenever she’s around or her name is mentioned.”

“That’s because she’s an evil,” Theresa huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Shut up, Theresa!” Luis commanded. He looked at his Antonio who seemed to be taking his situation way too personally. He let out a defeated sigh. “I don’t know what to do. She’s made up her mind.”

“Then go change it,” Martin encouraged from behind.

Luis glanced around at his family, all of them looked at him expectantly, encouragingly – well everyone but his sister. Suddenly, the answer seemed so clear – the situation easily manipulated if he only had the courage. He grinned at Theresa. “Don’t look so mad, Theresita. You need to start warming up to Gwen.

“Why?” she retorted, hands on her hips. “Because you like her?”

“Because I’m going to marry her.” Luis patted Antonio on the shoulder, mumbled his gratitude and headed for the doorway to the foyer. There he turned around and looked at his amused, albeit shocked family members and shrugged. “My new life starts with her."

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