Somehow I will Ch.38 Words
 by LilAngelGirl
 
 

Words
"Kenji wait!" Theresa yelled running out her back door as Kendra’s tiny legs carried her to the backyard.
"Leave me alone!" She yelled back at Theresa.
"Baby please talk to me." Theresa pleaded.
"They left me! Mommy and Daddy didn’t want me so they left." Kendra cried falling onto the ground.
In second’s Theresa was at Kendra’s side, sitting in the dirt holding her. "It’s not like that baby." Theresa cried.
"I was bad so they left. I didn’t pick up my toy’s and I didn’t like Matt. I made them leave." She sobbed.
"Sweetie you’re mommy and daddy loved you so much. They didn’t leave you Kendra. I’m so sorry they are gone Kenji, but sweetheart, they are still in your heart."
"I can’t hear them in my heart." She cried. "And I can’t smell them neither. I want my mommy and daddy." She said looking up at Theresa. "Please make them come back."
Theresa swallowed as tears flooded her eyes. "Baby I can’t. They are with the angels, remember?"
Kendra nodded. "But I want them here." She whimpered.
"Oh, Kenji, I want them here too. But baby you know they are gone."
"But mommy loved me?" She asked her brown eyes staring up at Theresa, so much of both Luis and Sheridan shining in them.
"Yes baby she did. And your daddy did too."
"But what if I forget them Aunt Resa?" She questioned.
Theresa shook her head. Why was her niece so smart? She wasn’t suppose to be thinking like a 20 year old, she was too young to ask questions like that.
"You will never forget them." Theresa promised. Then she frowned, was she telling Kendra the truth? She could barely remember her papa, his voice, his smell, so how could she promise Kendra something like that.
"I’m sorry I yelled." Kendra frowned her hands digging in the dirt as she talked.
"You needed to." Theresa said a loving smile forced on her mouth.
"So you’re not mad?" Kendra said her eyes glancing from Theresa to the dirt she was playing with.
"No sweetheart. I love you Kenji, and you can talk to me whenever you want."
"Can I go play now?" Kendra asked standing up.
Theresa nodded. "I need to check on Matt anyway." She said noting how quickly a child’s attitude could change.
"I love you too Aunt Resa." Kendra said wiping her tears with her dirty hands.
Theresa smiled. "Lets go wash those hands."
"Okay." Kendra said following Theresa back into the house.
Theresa watched as the little girl walked back up the stairs, she still had so much to learn about children, the mood changes and the way they expressed their emotions. But more than that she had a lot more to learn about herself.

~*~*~*~*

"Julian it ain’t nothing but a big ole’ mess." Chad fumed looking back to see Jada playing dolls with Ivy.
"So you say Jada’s mother was once a model?" Julian asked his mind racing with all the facts his son had delivered to him.
"Yeah that’s right. But not now." Chad sighed. "No now she’s here to be Mother of the year."
Julian shook his head. "Son, does this woman, know you’re a Crane?" He asked carefully.
Chad stopped the pacing he had been doing and looked at his father. "I never thought about that." He said then frowned. "You don’t think she’s here for money?" He asked.
"Its possible." Julian nodded.
"You know not everyone wants the Crane money." Chad reasoned thinking of the days when he had loved Carrie.
"Not everyone no, but most do." Julian sighed.
"I can’t let her do this, come in here and try to ruin everything I got going for me now. Who does she think she is anyway? I have been the one taking care of Jada. And now she just struts into my home telling me she’s back? That ain’t happening." Chad almost yelled.
Julian looked at his son, he couldn’t help but admire the love Chad had for his child. The way he would do anything to protect her. "Let me handle this son." Julian said firmly.
"I can take care of Carrie. You don’t need to worry about that." Chad said crossing his arms.
"I believe you, but still, I would like to at least talk to this woman Chad. Let me do that much."
"Well I don’t know where she’s staying at." Chad frowned.
Julian laughed. "I don’t think that will be a problem. This is Harmony Chad, it won’t be hard to track her down."
Chad nodded." Do what you want. I’ve gotta go find Theresa and fix things with her."
" Yes you do that, and don’t worry about Jada. That little princess will be just fine." Julian smiled.
"Thanks Julian, I mean dad." Chad said smiling.
"No problem son."
~*~*~*~*~

Gwen stormed into her father’s study and crossed her arms. "Where is she?" She questioned staring at her father.
"Gwenie dear, I’m so glad you’re here." Jonathan Hotchkiss said smiling.
"Yes daddy its good to see you. But back to my question, where is my mother?" She said bluntly.
He shook his head. "She said something about doing damage control and left. She was in quite a state of panic when I saw her.
Gwen rolled her eyes. "That is so like her."
"Gwen dear, you’re mother told me some interesting things about you." Jonathan began.
Gwen sighed and looked at her father. "So what did she tell you?"
"Well, you’re mother said you were dating some child."
Gwen smiled. "He’s almost twenty-two daddy."
"That is still very young." Jonathan commented.
"He’s real mature. Now what else did Mother say?" Gwen quizzed.
"She thinks you are on drugs Gwenie. And she believes you are getting them from those Lopez-Fitzgerald people." Jonathan explained a worried look falling on his face.
Gwen couldn’t help but chuckle as she looked at her father. "I’m not on drugs and neither are the Lopez-Fitzgerald’s. They are not bad people daddy, really. Miguel is a very nice guy, and though I hate admitting this his sister is becoming a nice person also. "
"Will you just promise me one thing darling?" Jonathan said standing up.
"Depends on what it is." Gwen smiled.
"Promise you will be careful. Trust your instincts and your heart."
"That I can promise you." Gwen laughed.
"In that case dear, I trust you." Jonathan said pulling his daughter in for a hug.
~*~*~*~

Theresa flipped on her radio and sat down on her sofa. Tears welled up in her eyes as the tension of the day seemed to be caving in on her. Life was a ever changing force that she didn’t understand. Nothing stayed the same, and no one could make promises that would really last.

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (‘cause)
 

She wiped her eyes and tried to take a breath. She could see the children’s faces, heartbroken and alone. Little Matt so young he would never understand his parents love for him, and Kendra trying to grasp what memories she had. But then Theresa closed her eyes and saw Chad. She needed Chad, and she felt as if Carrie had come to take him back, to claim the father of her child.

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It’s almost like the hard times circle ‘round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing - but I’m not dead

Theresa wondered if she had any fight left in her. She wanted so badly to think positive, but she knew Chad had once loved Carrie deeply, planned to marry the woman, then she ran off.

A knock at the door forced Theresa from her thoughts as she stood up and walked over to open it. As the door flew open she looked up to see Chad smiling at her.
"We need to talk Resa." He said pushing past her and into the house. She shut the door, and tried to shut off her tears.
"I know Carrie’s back." She whispered.
"Yeah she told me you called." He said walking to her.
"So what now Chad?" Theresa questioned weakly staring up at him with all the strength she had left in her.
Chad grabbed her by the waist and hugged her. "We don’t let her stop us." He said in her ear. "We keep feeling what we’re feeling Resa."
Theresa swallowed. "And what exactly are we feeling Chad?" She asked. "Because I have a child upstairs that thinks her mommy lied to her and ran away, and you have a child who must be confused to why her mother is back." She spilled to him. It was words that needed to be said, things that needed to be dealt with.
Chad let out a heavy breath. "We hold those kids and let them know we love them. And I will do whatever I can to make sure Carrie doesn’t hurt us."
"So there is a us?" Theresa questioned. "Because I know you once loved Carrie." She said in a bare whisper.
"Once loved her Resa."
"Why is she here?" Theresa finally asked her hands trembling with fear of what the answer might be.
"I have no idea. But she won’t hurt us. And that’s what you’re really afraid of isn’t it Theresa?"
Theresa slowly nodded. "I just don’t know how much more I can take Chad. I lost my brother, I’m raising his children, and I’m loving you all at the same time, now she’s back at it scares me." The words shot from Theresa’s mouth as she looked at Chad.
"What did you just say?" He asked replaying her words in his mind.
"That Carrie is back and it scares me."
"No you said you loved me." Chad said touching her face with his hand.
Theresa’s eyes widen. "I suppose I did." She nodded. "Chad I do love you." She smiled.
Chad let his lips brush against Theresa’s and then he smiled. "I love you too Resa, and we’re going to make it through all of this."

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight
So bring on the rain
 

Theresa let a faint smile dance on her lips. " We can do this right Chad? Take care of the kids? Handle Carrie? We can do it all?" She inquired.
"I have no doubt in my mind that we will be just fine." He smiled.
"Together right?"
"Yeah Resa, together."