Sacrifices of the Soul, Chapter 22
 
 

Theresa stood at the kitchen door, looking at the garage. There wasn't any light on in Chad's apartment.

She was so worried about him, but, Pilar had told her to leave him alone, which went against Theresa's nature. But, she knew that Pilar was right. Chad needed time, and if he wanted to share, he would. She knew that it had to do with his parents- nothing else could upset him this way.

It was times like this that she missed being able to talk to Whitney. She missed her best friend. Losing Ethan and Whitney in such a short time span really had been a blow to Theresa. Yet, she's surviving. She's learning that she can live without two people she thought would always be there in her life.

Theresa exhales a deep sigh, and decides to go to bed. The best thing she can do for Chad is to be there for him when he asks for help.
 

" Dammit, Sheridan! I'm not a child!", Julian drunkenly growls.

" I know, Julian, but, you needed help. So, shut up, and take these, and drink this." Sheridan hands him 4 aspirin and a glass of water. Julian pouts like a child, but, does what she says. Sheridan unbuttons the top buttons on his shirt and puts Julian into bed, taking off his shoes and socks. He's asleep before she can pull the covers over him.

She hadn't realized for awhile that the brandy was the 'dessert' to Julian's alcohol buffet that evening. Jack Daniels and Vodka had been the appetizer and main course. She made sure that Julian was ok, and then turned to Julian's dresser. She notices something new. Julian had never been that  sentimental, but, he had always kept pictures of his children there. And, he noticed that there was a new one there- one of Chad. She wondered how he had gotten it. But, there it sat, in its silver frame, right along with the rest of his siblings.

Sheridan knew that Julian was trying. Trying to accept responsibility for the mistakes of the past, and make things better. Others didn't see it, but, they didn't have to. As long as Julian wanted to try, Sheridan felt it was her responsibility to help. She turned off the lights, and left Julian to sleep it off.
 

Chad was in his bed, but, the covers were undone from their usually neatly tucked place. He was tossing and turning in the bed with no peace.
 
 

[ FLASHBACK]
 

Chad heard a knock at the door, and went to open his door at his old apartment. When he opened the door, a smile crept across his face.

" Well, well….look who lowered herself to come to the 'bad' part of town. I didn't think you bothered with lowlifes such as myself."

" Chad, please. I think we need to talk. May I come in?", Eve asks, her eyes pleading.

Chad laughs. " Yeah. Sure, MOMS! Come on in! This should be good for somethin’..I don't know what, but, for somethin’."

Eve comes into his apartment.

" I'm sorry it's not up to your usual standards, Your Highness. But, it's all we abandoned chillun' can get."

" Chad. I've been trying to call you for weeks. But, you haven't returned any of my messages. "

" And, why do you think that is, MOMS? Could it be that I don’t want anything to do with you? Hmmmm….."

" Chad, if we talk things out…"

" Talk things out? Woman, are you crazy? Out of your mind? What the fuck do you think we have to talk about?"

" Chad, I’m your mother."

" Are you?"

" You know that I am. You went for the DNA tests. Why do that if you didn’t want to know."

" I wanted to know who the lowlifes were who spawned me. I wanted to know exactly who to blame."

" Blame? Chad, no one’s to blame."

" And, how do you see that?"

" Remember, you know the real story."

" Do I? How do I know that’s not the story that you paid that old man to say. After all, you lie as easily as you breathe."

" Chad.."

" No. You wanna talk. Let’s REALLY talk.

From the moment that I got to this town, you have been on my ass like white on rice.

Looking your nose down at me. DOWN AT ME! Isn’t THAT the joke of all time.

Riding me. Making sure that I knew that I wasn’t good enough for your precious daughters. That they had been raised better to want to be around scum like me."

" I was only protecting my daughters.", Eve mumbled.

" Yeah. Protecting them. Ain’t that a good one. When you pointed out the people on the street that your daughters should step over, you forgot to take them to a mirror and point the finger to yourself.

You, are what they call a ‘perpetrator’. Of the deepest kind.

But, I gotta hand it to you….you fooled everyone with your deception.

I’ve seen some con men in my time, but lady, you ‘bout top the list. Got the whole damn town fooled into believing that your shit don’t stink.

Got them doctors at the hospital thinking you’re so respectable.

Got them church folk thinking that you’re such a ‘Christian’, when you should have been teaching the stories of SIN in Sunday School. How foolish they must feel now, having been conned by one of the best."

" It wasn’t a con."

" Wasn’t a CON? Sista, puleeze. Cut the crap. " Chad laughed. " But, I gotta hand it to you. You know you should open up a school- your own CON school. I got folks who THOUGHT they knew how to hustle in California. But, they were amateurs compared to you."

" It wasn’t a con. I changed."

" CHANGED? Awe, Baby, don’t believe your own hype. You’re a scam artist. An elegantly dressed one, but, a scam artist all the same."

" Chad, please give me a chance.  I…..I don’t have anyone else."

" So, you only wanna see me now that the ‘spectable folk don’t want you?"

" No…No, that’s not what I meant."

" Sure, it is, Eviebabes. The suburban crowd found out that they had a phony in their midst, and they threw you out. Your job? Gone is the respected doctor. The church? Who wants a ‘Ho in their Church Auxillary? And, let’s not forget your REAL family!

Simone? Sorry. She’s innocent, and believed in you, and you destroyed that for her. She has a good heart, but, let’s be honest, she won’t easily forgive you breaking up her happy family.

Whitney? Now, I love the gal, but, congratulations…THAT one is a chip off the old block. Whitney learned EVERY lesson you ever taught her, so, she knows EXACTLY how to treat ‘people like you’. And, I hope you enjoy every miserable minute of it.

Which leaves Coach Russell. Whatever I got to say about the man, at least he’s FOR REAL. And, you made a FOOL out of him. Big time. Got news for you, Sister. I hope you don’t got no illusions about him taking your ass back…cause it ain’t gonna happen.

In case you don’t know why, I’m gonna break it down for you:

#1- Coach Russell is a MAN. And the last thing a MAN wants to be is a cuckhold, which is what you made him. You made him out to be a FOOL in front of his family, friends, and community. He’ll never get past that.

#2- Coach Russell is a Principled Man. Like I said, while you were spouting the platitudes, the man actually LIVED by them, which means garbage like you wouldn’t get the time of day in his moral universe.

#3 and maybe the most important part, Coach Russell is a PROUD BLACK MAN.
And, NO self-respecting Black man is gonna want some White man’s castoffs.

And, you’re not just ANY White man’s castoffs- you’re JULIAN CRANE’S castoffs.

The sight of you will absolutely disgust him, and when he sees you, he’ll never be able to close his eyes without seeing Julian Crane lay claim in bed with HIS woman. He’ll never touch you again.

He got the 411 about you from Crystal. A stupid Black woman  who allowed herself to be used by a racist mutherfucker like so many Black women have done throughout time. They talk about how the White man gets upset at the thought of ‘his’ woman being with a Black man, but, they never talk about the reverse. Of seeing our women ‘taken’ time and time again, without any possible way to fight against it. And, then to see women, like yourself, who don’t even fight it, but, crawl into bed with White fuckers who only want you for one thing…and you give it to them.

Add insult to injury, you carry children for them, and do they do anything for you? No. Cause all you’re good for is to satisfy them between the sheets."

" Stop it! Stop it! I won’t have you talk to me like this. You don’t know.."

" Oh yeah, I know. I know that you were a pathetic cliché. You let that man sit up and use and abuse you. You went along with it, because of your own stupidity or delusion. But, come on. Get real. Same way that Ethan was never gonna take Theresa to the Big House. Where do you think he LEARNED that? By watching at ‘Daddy’s’ knee. You were a good time. And, when the good times ended, you were disposable.

I know it….you know it…and Coach Russell knows it. You were a lowlife hoochie that gave him some thrills. So, did you do the kinky stuff that he’s known for? How much did you let him degrade you? All the way, right? Anything for your White Bossman, right?"

Eve puts her hands over her ears and shakes her head in disagreement. " No..no..no."

" I’ve got your number, MY SISTA! You know, you’re right down there with the Uncle Toms – ‘Sistas who would be more apt to having bandanas on their head, and having their own ‘quarters’ on the EHstate, so that Massa won’t have to walk so far."

Chad barely got that out when he felt the full fury of Eve’s hand connect with his face.

" I’ve had about all I’m going to take from you.", Eve says, tears pouring down her face, and her body physically trembling.

" Honey, I haven’t EVEN begun. But, I guess it’s time to break down and answer your basic question when you got here. When are we gonna have a relationship? How about twelve days from never. When the Klan elects Jesse Jackson as the Grand Wizard. When Yasser Arafat is elected head of the Anti-Defamation League. I think you get my drift. I’d rather be the poor, uneducated ‘lowlife’ that I am, than to be the child of a Black Whore, who shinned, grinned, hustled and laid on her back for a White bigot. I got more pride than that."

Chad went over to the door and opened it.

" See ya, MOMS……and, forget my address and phone number. "

Eve slowly walked to the door, and went outside. She turned around, to give Chad one more look, when she heard the SLAM!

[ End of Flashback]

The image of Eve standing there, in tears, her eyes pleading, and then the SLAM. played over and over again like a looped tape, until he sat up in his bed. He looked around his room. He was there, sweating, with no covers on him for they had been thrown everywhere. Chad sat as he listened the pounding of his accelerated heartbeat, and tried to calm himself down. He knew what Pilar had said, but, he also knew the truth. The look in his mother's eyes, he hadn't bothered to really catch it when she came, but, he knew it well.

It was the look of pure desperation.