Those Who Laugh Last... Chapter Six {E/T, Gwen}
by sadhappygirl
Theresa rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. Pilar was giving her the third degree.
"Why did I have to find out from Phyllis that Julian went to Bermuda to get a quick divorce?" Pilar interrogated. "You chould have imagine my surprise when I was told the news!"
"Mama it shouldn't have been to much of a shock, you knew Ethan and I had gotten back together."
"What about my grandchild? What is going to happen to him?"
Theresa glanced at Ethan then whispered into the phone. "Mama I can't get into it right now, I will discuss little Ethan when we get home."
"Why are you whispering? Theresa what are you NOT telling me?"
"Mama I don't want to disturb Ethan, the poor dear is exhausted."
"He should be at home healing from his injuries."
"Mama Ethan didn't want to wait." She lied. "You know how much he loves me."
"Theresa what is the rush? Are you pregnant?"
"No mama." She giggled. "Ethan wants to make me his wife and I could not be happier."
"But to elope? What about a church wedding?"
"Later mama, I see you in a few days...maybe longer."
"Put Ethan on the phone!" Pilar demanded.
"Sorry mama, I can't...bye." She disconnected the call.
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Getting the marriage license were easier than she thought. She told the county clerk a sob story about Ethan being too ill to get out of bed to come in person to fill out the application.
The gullible, overworked, underpaid clerk was a sucker for true love and gave her the license. Theresa slide him an extra $100.00 along with the $50.00 dollar fee for the license.
"Have a wonderful marriage miss." He said warmly as he placed the bribe into him pants pocket.
Theresa winked at him. "Thank you sir." She smiled. "We will."
She glanced at the clock, the limo will be there in two hours to take them to the chapel.
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The wedding package Theresa chosen was close to her heart - Cinderella. Her eyes widen when Ursula, the owner of Over The Rainbow Chapel Of Love, showed her to 'Dreams Do Come True' theme room.
"Vat do you think dah-ling? You like? Yes?" The gravel voice woman asked.
"Ohmigod this is it!" She gasped. "I love it!"
The room was an exact carbon copy of the ballroom sceen from the Disney movie.
"This voom is you dah-ling." The blue-haired, chain smoking woman agreed. "You and your prince are going to make some vonderful memories here." She took her cigarette holder out of her mouth and began to coughed. Theresa was afraid that she was about to cough up a lung. "Okay good." She finally said. "Lets talk price..."
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"Ethan where are you son?" Ivy asked herself. She was going out of her mind with worry, she haven't heard or seen him in since he left the hospital. Beth told her that she saw Ethan and Teresa at the Book Cafe the night before.
"Humph! Theresa!" She spat. "I should have known that gtuter slut was with him...but where?"
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Theresa managed to get Ethan dressed with a little help and now they were on there way to the chapel...
"What is going on?" He whispered. Theresa took his hands in hers.
"Ethan I got something special for us to do today." She said eagerly. "We are going to a theme park."
"Putt Putt's?"
"No darling, we are going to a theme park where we get to dress up as fairytale characters!" She said excitedly. "I know that it sounds stupid and childish but I really want to go."
Ethan smiled. "Sounds like fun." He yawned.
"We are going to dress up as...get this...Cinderella and Prince Charming on their wedding day!!" She exclaimed.
"Theresa you are such a kid at heart." Ethan smiled.
"Now Ethan before we get there I must tell you that Ursula the owner of the park might ask you some off the wall questions or act strange...just humor her, she is a bit senile."
"Sure."
The limo pulled into the parking lot of the chapel. Theresa wiggled in her seat.
"We're here!" She cried. "Let's go!"
Ethan climbed out of the limo and stood unsteady on his feet. Theresa took hold of his arm to steady him.
Ursula blew out a puff of smoke and smiled. "Velcome to Ovah the Rainbow Chapel of Love, dah-lings." She greeted.
Ethan stared at the blue-haired woman with the cigarette holder dangling from her ruby red lips.
"You picked a nice one dah-ling."
"Thank you Ursula." Theresa tugged on Ethan's arm, escorting him into the chapel. "See what I mean?" She whispered. "The woman is flakier than Mrs. Wallace."
They were shown to their dressing rooms where they were to change their clothes and get into character.
"See you in a few." Theresa smiled.
"I can't wait my Cinderella." Ethan smiled.
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Theresa cried when she was herself in the full length mirror. She looked every inch the fairytale princess.
"I can't wait to see Ethan." She sniffed.
Moments later, Ursula came into the room. "Dah-ling you look marvelous." She praised. "I never seen a Cinderella look so good."
"Thank you Ursula." She beamed.
"Listen dah-ling, we have a problem."
"Ehan?"
"No dah-ling your prince is excellent."
"Then what is it?"
"The minister vill not be here, his car is kaput."
"Oh no!"
"Eh - I told Harry to get rid of that piece of crap." She said. "I said Harry, that's what I said. I said Harry, you should get rid of that piece of crap, but did he listen? No, serves him right."
"Do you have a replacement?"
"Of course dah-ling, not to vorry your fairy godmother have it all under control."
Theresa let out a sigh of relief.
"Just give me a couple of minutes, alvight?"
"Alright."
Five minutes later, there were another knock on the door.
"Enter." Theresa replied.
To her shock and amazement, three little people dressed as munchkins entered the room.
"I think you have the wrong room." She said. "I'm doing the Cinderella theme."
"Sorry lady, we are in the right place." Munchkin Number One replied.
"But -but..." She stammered.
"You want to get marry don't cha?" Munchkin Number Two asked.
"Yes but..."
"Then get your ass in gear!" Munchkin Number Three growled.
Theresa followed the three angry munchkins out of the room and down the hall.
"I'm sorry dah-ling." Ursula apologize. "But I promised them they can work overtime...vhat can I say? I got to keep them happy, they are union."
The door to the Cinderella theme room opened...
Theresa gasped when she saw Ethan looking very handsome as Prince Charming...
Drunk out of his gourd...
"Looks like your prince had helped himself to some of Ursula free drinks." Munchkin Number One giggled.
Theresa began to seeth...
The music began...
"Bad, (bad)...
Blood, blood)....
The bitch is on the scene..."
Neil Sadaka and Elton John warbbled...
"Vong song...dah-ling, hold on!" Ursula yelled.
"Oh here she comes...
Watch out boy she'll chew you up...
Oh here she comes...
She's a maneater..."
Hall & Oates warned....
"Charles, how many times must I tell you NOT to mess vith the songs every freaking time you have a fight vith your vife?!" She yelled. "It vill be another second dah-ling."
Finally the wedding march began...
The guest stood as Theresa passed by them...
In attendance was Dorothy, the Wicked Witch and her crew of flying monkeys...
Dressed in drag...
Ethan couldn't help but laugh when hew saw Freddy Kruger and Jason in the crowd, not to mention, Princess Lea, Micheal Jackson and Joan Rivers...
Theresa joined Ethan at the alter...
Her cheeks grew hot...
Elvis was in the building...
And Priscilla the drag queen was her bridesmaid...
Kill Ursula." She reminded herself.
The grossly overweight Elvis stuffed into a hideous powder blue, rhinestone studded jump suit...
Swuing his hips a tad bit too hard...
Several buttons popped off...
One hit Ethan in the eye...
"To many fried peanutbutter and banana sandwiches." He grinned. "Right Cilla baby?"
"Right King." He answered.
"I will tear her blue hair out by her gray roots." Theresa told herself. One by one."
"I'm okay Theresa." Ethan smiled. "I am having so much fun, I am really enjoying this role playing."
Theresa looked into his bloodshot eyes and smiled.
Dearly beloved..." Elvis began...
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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ELOPED?!" Ivy screamed at Pilar."Theresa is still marry to Julian!!"
Pilar winched. "Julian went to Bermuda for a quick divorce." She explained.
"The stupid dumbass! He doesn't have any proof that he is the father of Theresa's son!!"
"What are you talking about Ivy?" Pilar asked.
"Your lying tramp of a daughter told my simple son that he fathered little Ethan. That is the reason he and Gwen broke up."
"That can't be true!" Pilar gasped.
"But it is Pilar." Ivy huffed. "Ethan told me himself and now it is to late...he will NEVER get rid of that bitch now."
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Ethan awaken from his freakish dream with a pounding headache...
He dreamt that he and Theresa was at some sort of chapel getting marry by Elvis...
"I got to get the dosage of those painkillers reduce." He groaned.
He saw the gold band on his left hand...
He glanced over at Theresa...
She was grinning like the cat who are the carnary...
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